i have such an intensive ingrained "do not ask for help ever" neurosis and hitting a breaking point on that and deciding we Should actually ask for help makes me feel really pathetic but it makes me feel better that anyone like. wants to help at all. i love my friends and i love strangers too

i Keep getting pwned (having a nervous meltdown and losing sleep over smth that ends up being completely fine and good)

we might be cooked and it's my fault yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

i'm already Doing pharmacy tech work it's just that i'm only certified in one state and i never took a course i just got certified thru the job so it's not really like. usable anywhere else

ig in nicer news i do have some plans to get nationally certified as a pharmacy tech so i can ideally get a job that'll pay more... just waiting til we get settled in the new place bc i need to do a course before i take the test. having a goal like that makes me feel better

YEAAAAAA YOU GOT THIS

it'll be great! i'm trying to focus on the fact that we are making a huge positive change to our living situation and once we're settled we'll be So happy and chill. but we have to go thru the 100 years in one week torture chamber first

i have a lot of lists to make and stuff to clean and pack and sort and move and buy and disassemble and reassemble and people to talk to and fees to pay. and this all has to happen during the goddamn holidays of course. why can't i just live in a burrow like a small animal.

in a lot of pain currently. excited to be free of this house. terrified of how much fkin money it's going to be. excited to have access to a normal fridge again. scared of moving stress when both me and my cat are crazy immunocompromised. worried we won't even be accepted to the place we want

that's such a miserable way to interact with people i am so sorry wynne...

read one piece come to my one piece server

patch notes: it was completely fine i freaked out and lost sleep for nothing

i just got good at this job the way it is can you not give me more (girl who said yes to the opportunity presented because she wanted to seem cool and reliable)

can't eat when i wake up . don't feel great eating mid day. used to be i'd be fine by dinner but it's dinner time and i don't want to eat bc i feel like shit. this shit is wack !!!

melanie attributed it to anxiety/stress bc i was fretting abt misc life stuff earlier in the night but by bed time i felt very chill ? ig that doesn't mean my Body calmed down tho... idk. just hoping it doesn't happen again tn i am so so tired of sleeping poorly and feeling sick

this is taking me ouuut

i do not want to ever have to live out of a fucking mini fridge again man this shit is ass. we're making it work the best we can but it sucks so bad to have food So insanely limited