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mxsamb.bsky.social
Sam
@mxsamb.bsky.social
260 followers 400 following 47 posts
they/them
End genocide everywhere.
disabled. queer. non-binary. Korean transracial adoptee. they/them 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇰🇷
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mxsamb.bsky.social
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Did you see: - A tent in the woods? - Someone shoplifting? - A person sleeping in their car? No! You fucking didn't! People are struggling Don't make it worse
December 13, 2024 at 7:23 AM
mxsamb.bsky.social
The original thread is gone, but I responded to one of OP’s comments, anonymized and added here.
* Reply to unavailable post OP Ok so correct me if I'm wrong; EMOTION - physical response to stimuli, there's like 5 base ones or something (happy, sad, fear, anger, disgust I think?) FEELING - subjective interpretation of emotion Are feelings, then, not an intellectual response to emotions? How do you process an emotion OTHER THAN BY INTELLECTUALISING IT??!?
November 19, 2024 at 6:56 PM
mxsamb.bsky.social
I wrote a whole thing on threads the other day in response to a question about autistic understanding about what “process your emotions” means. I actually like most of what I wrote and I wanted to re-post it here, as I move away from threads.
Transcript: I've always thought of them as: Feelings are how you physically feel. Chest tight. Shakes. Eyes burning. crying. Panic. Spins. Fog. These are things I've tried very hard to avoid, talk myself out of, or shut down. How do I do that? Intellectualizing. It circumvents my feelings by giving my something else to do. When I "feel my feelings", I'm literally just letting my body react to an emotion (anger, sad, happy...). This is p new to me. I hate doing it, but it does usually let me actually... (1/4) "process the emotion". This is: 1. Letting my body react. My brain doesn't shut off. It never really does. But I let myself cry it all out. I let the tightness exist.| scream. I hit pillows or objects (this is a physical urge). 2. Then, when my brain starts to get loud about how I "should" be done, I ask my body, am I done? Do I feel, in my body, like I'm still physically reacting? 3а. If yes, push myself to continue. Cry. Scream. Shake. Pressure. Keep brain away from analysis somehow. (2/4) 3b. If no, let analysis begin. 4. Do I feel better? Did the analysis help me feel better about it? Am I thru this? 5a: if yes, cool! © 5b: if no, what do I need to feel better about this? 6. Do that. Talk to the person. talk to therapist. Eat about it. Smoke about it. Cry more. Walk around. Be distracted. Repeat 4-6 until better. This may take multiple sessions or days. It may be non-consecutive (3/4) I never used to let myself have feelings. I'd start to, and then immediately use analysis to shut it down. Then I'd just spin around it in a cycle of the feeling coming back and shutting it back down over and over. That's intellectualizing. It's using analysis to circumvent ever feeling the way your emotions make you feeling. (4/4) Transcript: I didn't mention this at the top, bc I forgot. I'm AuDHD. Depressive disorder. Lots of trauma from both personal and systemic factors. But also privileged to have had great therapists, education, and the time and money to learn all this. I've built a good support network. It's not easy. It hasn't gotten easy. It's easier. (1/5) Actually, one more thing that I wanna circle back to be not all feelings come out physically or are easily expressed partially without practice. sometimes people feel their feelings in ways that they can't or don't know how to express physically... imo that's what leads to verbal reactions, like: - Lash out - Be sarcastic in an emotionally pointed way - Deflect with humor - Snip or snap (2/5) Or other coping mechanisms: I've self injured, self medicated, dissociated, avoided, compartmentalized, etc., be something was too big, hard, or scary to feel. I've got stuff in mental boxes or in the back burner just waiting for their turn. Someday I'll probably have to dig around and start processing that shit... but not today. (3/5) The problem with something like "process your emotions" is people say it like everyone know what it means. A process is a tool and it's one you have to learn to use. People just want to say it like it's a quick fix, when in actuality it's a skill you have to practice and sometimes it's messy and sucks. (4/5) But!!! On the other side of that coin for me has been feeling the full and physical feelings that come with joy, love, contentment, safety, and pleasure. I didn't used to really feel those either. They're pretty great. (5/5) Transcript: Emotions aren't logical. They're often irrational in the moment be they're tied to other stuff. They deny what you "should" think or feel. Intellectualizing is often about taking yourself out of your emotions or feelings OR explaining to your self you know what your emotions are and why you're having them so you don't need to do the part where you feel them. I did a lot of both of those. Then, my therapist got me to interrupt the intellectualizing. I never just feel. The brain is so strong. (1/5) It wants to analyze! It wants to think thru the whole thing and avoid being irrational. I gotta put that bit in a box somehow. BC the only one hearing the irrational part is me, so I try and just let myself be irrational for as long as i feel it. It actually wears down pretty quickly because the emotions get expressed in your feeling of them. Then, I open the box I put the analysis part in. It comes out and we work thru the irrational stuff. We tie it to the emotions. We trace the emotions... (2/5) to something, usually trauma, but sometimes it is simple. Then, we figure out a path forward together. Often the path for me is talk to someone. Talk to the person. Talk to my therapist. But sometimes the path is just, "I've thought it all out, and I know it's not rational, but I'm upset about this and I need to just let myself be upset until it runs its course, please just give me space to do it." Or even please just hug me while I do it. (3/5) This, of course, is never an excuse to harm others. You're responsible, obvs, for your reactions, how you manage them, and how you resolve them. Feel like you need to hit something? Hit a pillow, punching bag, kick a box, etc. Do it away from people so they don't feel like it's a threat. Don't hit people or animals. That's managing your feelings. This is where pro. help is good. Therapists can give you the tools to feel your feelings and resolve them responsibly. (4/5) Char. limit 5/5 on next screenshot From previous image: I'm getting better at feeling my feelings now. After a lifetime of intellectualizing first, it's tough. It makes me feel (the feelings) out of control (the complex emotion), which is scary (the simpler emotion). But it's good. I don't dwell on stuff as much. There's less carryover. I can get into the process easier. (5/5) Transcript: Anyway, that was a long walk. It's just my way of understanding it, and it's helped me. Other people define stuff this stuff differently, and sometimes you just gotta make your own mental model and move forward. Hopefully this helps. (1/1)
November 19, 2024 at 6:56 PM