Mr. Big Penis.
@mrbigpenis.bsky.social
Hi, I'm Mr. Big Penis. You'll never guess what I've got in my pants.
Asexual deviant, freelance masturbauteur, linguist.
The cat is named Fulgora.
If you're from Michigan please don't be.
Do not expect many commas.
He/him/The/it.
🔞.
Asexual deviant, freelance masturbauteur, linguist.
The cat is named Fulgora.
If you're from Michigan please don't be.
Do not expect many commas.
He/him/The/it.
🔞.
Pinned
Mr. Big Penis.
@mrbigpenis.bsky.social
· Dec 18
She room on my ba till I robot.
Just had a perfect even triple sneeze feeling powerful.
February 4, 2026 at 8:38 AM
Just had a perfect even triple sneeze feeling powerful.
We really need more industry in Ohio I propose opening up a few more dick sucking factories.
February 2, 2026 at 6:11 AM
We really need more industry in Ohio I propose opening up a few more dick sucking factories.
Would you still love me if I was Wanted Dead or Alive?
February 1, 2026 at 7:17 AM
Would you still love me if I was Wanted Dead or Alive?
Last night we let the frobscottle do the talking.
January 31, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Last night we let the frobscottle do the talking.
What if just all don't pay our taxes this year like what are they even going to that benefits us anymore?
January 24, 2026 at 7:14 PM
What if just all don't pay our taxes this year like what are they even going to that benefits us anymore?
Is it sexist if I automatically assume that any "cool" women I meet are primarily lesbian?
January 22, 2026 at 2:50 AM
Is it sexist if I automatically assume that any "cool" women I meet are primarily lesbian?
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies Phonk Remix when?
January 21, 2026 at 6:02 AM
Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies Phonk Remix when?
Out here making big investments at the sperm bank.
January 21, 2026 at 5:01 AM
Out here making big investments at the sperm bank.
Fewer greater pleasures in life than flipping down the wipers on all the fancy cars in the parking lot the night before a big snow storm.
January 21, 2026 at 2:45 AM
Fewer greater pleasures in life than flipping down the wipers on all the fancy cars in the parking lot the night before a big snow storm.
Really sucks discovering an interest and then finding that there is little to no content online for that interest like damn guess I'm a freak I'm a weirdo guess I'm an oddball guess I'm a misfit guess I'm a deviant guess I'm unusual guess I'm anomalous guess I'm not normal guess I'm tha Joker baby.
January 20, 2026 at 9:10 PM
Really sucks discovering an interest and then finding that there is little to no content online for that interest like damn guess I'm a freak I'm a weirdo guess I'm an oddball guess I'm a misfit guess I'm a deviant guess I'm unusual guess I'm anomalous guess I'm not normal guess I'm tha Joker baby.
I like all of the star wars movies except for whichever one is your favorite.
January 19, 2026 at 8:44 AM
I like all of the star wars movies except for whichever one is your favorite.
True Detective but they fuck in the locker room in S1E2.
January 18, 2026 at 10:57 PM
True Detective but they fuck in the locker room in S1E2.
Challengers but they dock in that one scene.
January 18, 2026 at 5:05 AM
Challengers but they dock in that one scene.
I'm so excited to announce my directorial debut "-r Dick Bigger" the sequel to M. Night Shyamalan's Old about the beach that makes your dick bigger which will be releasing this July.
January 15, 2026 at 6:30 AM
I'm so excited to announce my directorial debut "-r Dick Bigger" the sequel to M. Night Shyamalan's Old about the beach that makes your dick bigger which will be releasing this July.
Male box? Hell yeah brother!
January 15, 2026 at 3:47 AM
Male box? Hell yeah brother!
Rock climbing gyms are just adult jungle gyms we need more adult jungle gyms do not forget that we are all monkeys.
January 11, 2026 at 5:48 AM
Rock climbing gyms are just adult jungle gyms we need more adult jungle gyms do not forget that we are all monkeys.
Codenames but everyone does shrooms first.
January 10, 2026 at 7:04 AM
Codenames but everyone does shrooms first.
Whenever I consume scary media too close to bed time and then can't sleep I just try to think about how statistically unlikely it would be for a spooky monster or axe murderer or what have you to show up on the same night that I happened to be thinking about scary stuff.
January 9, 2026 at 4:16 AM
Whenever I consume scary media too close to bed time and then can't sleep I just try to think about how statistically unlikely it would be for a spooky monster or axe murderer or what have you to show up on the same night that I happened to be thinking about scary stuff.
I cannot fathom how I did not burn down my house as a kid. Fucking anything can cause your house to burn down man.
January 4, 2026 at 12:24 AM
I cannot fathom how I did not burn down my house as a kid. Fucking anything can cause your house to burn down man.
As an adult man in his mid 20s I've been flossing regularly for about a year now and I can say that the dentists are totally lying it does not bleed less the more you floss in fact on an average day by about the 5th or 6th time I start to get woozy from all the blood I'm losing.
January 2, 2026 at 9:33 AM
As an adult man in his mid 20s I've been flossing regularly for about a year now and I can say that the dentists are totally lying it does not bleed less the more you floss in fact on an average day by about the 5th or 6th time I start to get woozy from all the blood I'm losing.
I think they should make it illegal for people with annoying voices to make youtube videos.
January 2, 2026 at 5:15 AM
I think they should make it illegal for people with annoying voices to make youtube videos.
Failed my resolution this year next year I'm resolving to become a mime ain't no way I'll fail that.
January 1, 2026 at 4:36 AM
Failed my resolution this year next year I'm resolving to become a mime ain't no way I'll fail that.
My evil wizard nemesis keeps summoning gremlins to fuck up my car that's the only explanation.
December 31, 2025 at 9:30 PM
My evil wizard nemesis keeps summoning gremlins to fuck up my car that's the only explanation.
I think the only acceptable use of AI in advertising is for fast-food mascots. There's something that seems right about that.
December 27, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I think the only acceptable use of AI in advertising is for fast-food mascots. There's something that seems right about that.
Must suck to not have an inner monologue. Losers.
December 27, 2025 at 1:22 PM
Must suck to not have an inner monologue. Losers.