(Vamp) Moose Hawkins🎗🍉
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moosehawkins.bsky.social
(Vamp) Moose Hawkins🎗🍉
@moosehawkins.bsky.social
600 followers 420 following 1.5K posts
I'm actually a Bear, not a Moose.

3️⃣1️⃣ ● 🔞 MDNI ● PNW ● Agender (They/them) (NOT A FUCKING MAN) ● Belligerently Bisexual ● Jewish ● Guitarist & Producer for String of Curses https://on.soundcloud.com/T9vLD
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moosehawkins.bsky.social
MOTHERFUCKIN POTATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES
An aluminum foil pan filled to the brim with creamy, buttery, succulent mashed potatoes, speckled with herbs and garnished with chopped chives
November 27, 2025 at 6:44 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Post a perfect album from the 90’s that isn’t Nirvana, Pearl Jam,Soundgarden or Alice In Chains.

This album is absurd and I adore it.
The album art for Cryptopsy's "None So Vile". It is a classical painting depicting Salome bearing the head of John the Baptist on a platter.
October 29, 2025 at 5:26 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Certified Hood Classic
A tweet from user @bliploblappo dated 26 April 2014. Reporter: Mr. President, what's your favorite Wu Tang album? Obama: What kind of question is-- [Biden grabs podium] Biden: LIQUID SWORDS
October 22, 2025 at 9:48 PM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
She is the sweetest little gorl 🥰

...and then there's this asshole, Bruce Wayne. He's about the size of a fucking Chevrolet with 10x the attitude. For reference, that's my foot in the first image, and I wear a men's 12.
Bruce Wayne, an absolutely massive black cat with yellow eyes. He's laying on the floor, lazily looking up at the camera like he isnt a fucking demon The same cat, now sitting up a little more and staring you down with criminal intent Bruce has been apprehended by his mother (my ex-wife). She has grabbed him under his front legs, and is holding him clutched to her chest.
October 18, 2025 at 2:17 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Meet Bunny, one of my exes cats
A very cute brown and white tabby cat laying on a mattress, looking up at the viewer
October 18, 2025 at 2:04 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Trevor Moore from the show The Whitest Kids U'Know sitting in a dimly-lit room. This is a still from a sketch where he informs the viewer that it is illegal to say "I want to kill the president" on TV
October 16, 2025 at 9:46 PM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Really sweet operation you've got going on over there, Meta 🫩
A review from Instagram of a comment I reported for hate speech. The comment in question is at the bottom and reads "Jill all kews" followed by three German flag emojis. A mere 19 minutes later, Instagram responded by saying that this comment DOES NOT VIOLATE COMMUNITY STANDARDS regarding hate speech. I have drawn in an arrow pointing to the comment accompanied by three large question marks to express my utter befuddlement with this decision.
August 15, 2025 at 4:05 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
A chibi-style cartoon cat. A speech bubble says "Waow," contrasting with their thought bubble that says "Based" over and over again
May 23, 2025 at 10:46 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Oh these would SLAP in a Redwall setting
A painted miniature used in tabletop gaming, depicting and anthropomorphic Otter mage. They are wearing a dark, hooded tunic with jewels adorning the hems. In their right hand they carry a wooden staff with a green crystal embedded in the end. In their left hand they hold a green potion bottle.
May 11, 2025 at 9:41 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Art depicting Kafka's "The Metamorphosis". A massive, human-sized cockroach laying in a twin-sized bed on its back. Text above and below it reads "Oh hell yes. Oh fuck yes," implying that this person is appreciative of their transformation into said cockroach.
April 16, 2025 at 6:38 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Indeed
A selfie of Moose's rear end taken in a dirty bathroom mirror. They're wearing black dolphin shorts and a grey t-shirt.
April 13, 2025 at 8:58 PM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Oh my fucking God
A Yahoo Entertainment article written about Musk's gaming failures. The excerpt above reads as follos: Gamers reportedly accused the billionaire of having "NO FRIENDS" and charge that he "WILL DIE ALONE," while also looking "DUMB AND UGLY." Touché! One player said that his estranged daughter Vivian Wilson "was right" for having recently claimed that Musk was terrible at "Overwatch." Musk's personal path of exile from the gaming community kicked off earlier this year when gamers started to catch on that the richest man in the world was secretly paying talented PoE 2 gamers to build up highly-leveled characters that made it look like he was proficient at the RPG — a bizarre scheme Musk later admitted to.
April 8, 2025 at 6:21 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Rich Evans of RedLetterMedia sitting on a couch with a bottle of beer, looking dejected and almost catatonic
April 8, 2025 at 5:52 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Wait uhhhhhhh what the

Seattle Kraken jumpscare?????
A cropped screenshot of a wordcloud of currently-trending words on bluesky. Among others, the word "kraken" is centered in the shot in yellow text
March 15, 2025 at 5:00 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Im here you fuckaas bitch
Noted gender-neutral public restroom, the grave of Ronald Reagan
March 15, 2025 at 4:33 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
A badly-drawn, black and white cartoon of a character looking at the viewer bashfully. They have a big, goofy smile and prominent eyelashes, and are sitting with their hands on their knees.
March 14, 2025 at 1:38 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
I was way too drunk to post last night but here's my NYE look 💅
A white enby with a full beard and brown hair. They're wearing blue smoky eyeshadow, pink lipstain, and a pink & white floral shirt.
January 1, 2025 at 7:55 PM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Every time I open this app
A fish character from spongebob looking at a toilet with great dismay
December 19, 2024 at 12:44 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
(I'm too lazy to edit the guns in, use your imagination)
Moe Szyslak, the bartender from TV show The Simpsons, holding two knives and saying "I gotta tell you, this is pretty terrific"
December 17, 2024 at 4:25 PM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
She turn on my Scottish till I spurtle
A Facebook ad for an etsy shop, selling "hand turned Scottish spurtles," listed at $40. The image in the listing shows a dozen or so wooden implements that vaguely look like magic wands. I have no idea what a spurtle is
December 16, 2024 at 8:55 PM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Reader, I got these bottles mixed up.

I could have died.
Two bottles of McCormick spices, both similar in color. The one on the left is Garam Masala, the one on the right is nutmeg.
December 12, 2024 at 4:38 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Don't tell this guy about Gradey Dick

Like he wore this BEFORE he was drafted
Pro basketball player Gradey Dick on the red carpet at the 2023 NBA Draft. He is a young white man with short, dirty blonde hair. He's wearing a double-breasted jacket covered with red sequins with puffy shoulders; black slacks and shoes; a silver and diamond necklace featuring his initials; and black sunglasses.
December 10, 2024 at 2:14 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Gladly, so "centrifugal force" is something of a misnomer, it describes a sensation that humans feel but isn't actually a force in physics, it's just the sensation of the centripetal force acting differently on different parts of our bodies, you see similar phenomena with Jupiter's moons, where the
A free-body diagram of an object traveling in a circle around a fixed point, as if orbiting. The object is represented by a small blue circle, and its orbital path represented by a dotted line. A blue arrow is pointing tangentially to the circle, representing the object's linear velocity at any given instant. A red arrow extends from the object to the center of the orbit, representing the centripetal force that holds the object in its orbit. A black arrow with a lower-case omega depicts the direction of the object's orbit, in this case counterclockwise.
December 9, 2024 at 5:46 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Oh we Ernestposting now???
A headshot (mugshot, perhaps) of TV character Ernest P Worrell cracking a concerningly toothy smile. He's a middle-aged white man wearing a tan-gray ball cap, a denim vest and a white Henley shirt.
December 8, 2024 at 6:49 AM
moosehawkins.bsky.social
Come here
The cinderblock that I definitely don't intend to use as a weapon
December 6, 2024 at 7:19 AM