A friend of mine once asked to include a chocolate budge frownie in his delivery order and dissolved into giggles so profound they hung up on him

Wait til you find out about Serrano ham.

Aw dang.

Did ya watch Fargo buddy, god DAMN that Season 1 was good. AFI's TV show of the year. Critics' Choice Best Miniseries, plus four acting noms (Billy Bob Thornton, Martin Freeman, Allison Tolman, Colin Hanks) and two wins (Thornton and Tolman), Emmy for Best Limited Series. Some real dark hilarity.

I'm still excited for the final season, but I would've preferred the original plan of an anthology show with every season being a different '80s PGish-horror-adventure thing, like the Fargo format of crime-noir-of-the-season.

Anybody who is like “Piracy is activism!”—trust me, supporting your local library is about 1000% more effective activism, and it’s still free for you and authors still get paid!

I could murder a tongue sandwich and a Mr. Pibb, to be honest.

Why were you trying to waste the turkey juice? That goes in the gravy.

I have, but they've usually been the kind with seeds on. Try making rolls with seeds on?

They smell the same way your breath smells when you have tonsil stones. Like something died in the shower drain two weeks ago.

Every piece of animal person media with a problematic cross species relationship should deploy "Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)"

What about "Orgasm Addict" by the Buzzcocks

You too huh? Glidy's always making friends on the bus