Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot.bsky.social
Jokes by John Hartzell. He/him.
"I promise there will be a vote in December to extend healthcare subsidies. I mean it this time."
November 10, 2025 at 2:38 PM
"I promise there will be a vote in December to extend healthcare subsidies. I mean it this time."
Football fans booing Donald Trump should be the new national anthem.
November 10, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Football fans booing Donald Trump should be the new national anthem.
Women have ruined the workplace for mediocre men who have to rationalize over and over again the promotion of other mediocre men.
November 9, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Women have ruined the workplace for mediocre men who have to rationalize over and over again the promotion of other mediocre men.
In Donald Trump's dreams, he is eating Big Macs on Air Force One and flying to Epstein's rape Island with Ivanka, who is wearing Erika Kirk's leather pants.
November 8, 2025 at 2:46 PM
In Donald Trump's dreams, he is eating Big Macs on Air Force One and flying to Epstein's rape Island with Ivanka, who is wearing Erika Kirk's leather pants.
HE. DOESN'T. GIVE. A. FUCK. ABOUT. ANYONE. BUT. HIMSELF.
November 6, 2025 at 9:07 PM
HE. DOESN'T. GIVE. A. FUCK. ABOUT. ANYONE. BUT. HIMSELF.
As Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi knew her shit, didn't take any shit, and had her shit together.
Mike Johnson, on the other hand, is full of shit, doesn't do shit, and is scared shitless of Trump.
Mike Johnson, on the other hand, is full of shit, doesn't do shit, and is scared shitless of Trump.
November 6, 2025 at 7:03 PM
As Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi knew her shit, didn't take any shit, and had her shit together.
Mike Johnson, on the other hand, is full of shit, doesn't do shit, and is scared shitless of Trump.
Mike Johnson, on the other hand, is full of shit, doesn't do shit, and is scared shitless of Trump.
PREDICTION: Donald Trump's grave will be America's busiest gender neutral bathroom.
November 6, 2025 at 1:29 AM
PREDICTION: Donald Trump's grave will be America's busiest gender neutral bathroom.
REMEMBER: The same people who think democratic socialists are communists think Donald Trump is a Christian.
November 5, 2025 at 4:23 PM
REMEMBER: The same people who think democratic socialists are communists think Donald Trump is a Christian.
Democrats: "We don't think hard-working people should go bankrupt paying their medical bills just to give tax cuts to billionaires."
Republicans: "Then we're at an impasse."
Republicans: "Then we're at an impasse."
November 4, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Democrats: "We don't think hard-working people should go bankrupt paying their medical bills just to give tax cuts to billionaires."
Republicans: "Then we're at an impasse."
Republicans: "Then we're at an impasse."
Republican Jesus: "If you can't afford loaves and fishes, get a job, deadbeat."
November 3, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Republican Jesus: "If you can't afford loaves and fishes, get a job, deadbeat."
Lauren Boebert on Halloween morning: "What can I do to reassure my voters that I am racist garbage?"
November 2, 2025 at 6:56 PM
Lauren Boebert on Halloween morning: "What can I do to reassure my voters that I am racist garbage?"
SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE: Limit the amount of time and energy you spend countering MAGA claims with facts. If facts mattered to them, they wouldn't be MAGA.
November 1, 2025 at 11:26 PM
SOME FRIENDLY ADVICE: Limit the amount of time and energy you spend countering MAGA claims with facts. If facts mattered to them, they wouldn't be MAGA.
Happy Halloween to decent people who pretend to be monsters once a year, not monsters who pretend to be decent people.
October 31, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Happy Halloween to decent people who pretend to be monsters once a year, not monsters who pretend to be decent people.
DID YOU KNOW?
Adam and Eve started wearing fig leaves because Nancy Mace wouldn't stop checking their junk.
Adam and Eve started wearing fig leaves because Nancy Mace wouldn't stop checking their junk.
October 29, 2025 at 4:16 PM
DID YOU KNOW?
Adam and Eve started wearing fig leaves because Nancy Mace wouldn't stop checking their junk.
Adam and Eve started wearing fig leaves because Nancy Mace wouldn't stop checking their junk.
"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." - George Orwell, 1984
October 29, 2025 at 12:56 AM
"The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." - George Orwell, 1984
TOP 5 FACTS ABOUT TARIFFS
1. They're paid by Americans.
2. They're paid by Americans.
3. They're paid by Americans.
4. They're paid by Americans.
5. They're paid by Americans.
1. They're paid by Americans.
2. They're paid by Americans.
3. They're paid by Americans.
4. They're paid by Americans.
5. They're paid by Americans.
October 27, 2025 at 3:47 PM
TOP 5 FACTS ABOUT TARIFFS
1. They're paid by Americans.
2. They're paid by Americans.
3. They're paid by Americans.
4. They're paid by Americans.
5. They're paid by Americans.
1. They're paid by Americans.
2. They're paid by Americans.
3. They're paid by Americans.
4. They're paid by Americans.
5. They're paid by Americans.
Republican: "Where is your evidence that Donald Trump raped children?"
Me: "Release the Epstein files."
Republican: "No! Then you'd have evidence that Donald Trump raped children."
Me: "Release the Epstein files."
Republican: "No! Then you'd have evidence that Donald Trump raped children."
October 26, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Republican: "Where is your evidence that Donald Trump raped children?"
Me: "Release the Epstein files."
Republican: "No! Then you'd have evidence that Donald Trump raped children."
Me: "Release the Epstein files."
Republican: "No! Then you'd have evidence that Donald Trump raped children."
"If Obama demolished an entire wing of the White House, sent federal forces to terrorize Americans, pardoned his crooked business partners, and sexually assaulted children, would you even care?" - MAGA Republicans, who think everyone is in a cult just because they are
October 25, 2025 at 2:19 PM
"If Obama demolished an entire wing of the White House, sent federal forces to terrorize Americans, pardoned his crooked business partners, and sexually assaulted children, would you even care?" - MAGA Republicans, who think everyone is in a cult just because they are
Imagine thinking people are this gullible and imagine being right.
October 23, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Imagine thinking people are this gullible and imagine being right.
If all it took was trans people existing to turn you into a Nazi, you were already a Nazi.
October 23, 2025 at 12:34 AM
If all it took was trans people existing to turn you into a Nazi, you were already a Nazi.
The same people who obsessed over a tan suit, a private email server, a boisterous laugh, and an autopen are strangely indifferent to the likelihood that their president raped children.
October 22, 2025 at 2:22 PM
The same people who obsessed over a tan suit, a private email server, a boisterous laugh, and an autopen are strangely indifferent to the likelihood that their president raped children.
BELOW: When destroying a rose garden isn't symbolic enough.
October 21, 2025 at 2:05 PM
BELOW: When destroying a rose garden isn't symbolic enough.
Some MAGA aren't waiting for Trump to be king to start bowing.
October 20, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Some MAGA aren't waiting for Trump to be king to start bowing.
Even with an abysmal 37% approval rating overall, Donald Trump is still popular with morons, idiots, nincompoops, imbeciles, dingbats, birdbrains, dunderheads, numskulls, nitwits, doofuses, twits, clods, dolts, oafs, schmucks, schnooks, stupid people, and Republicans.
October 19, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Even with an abysmal 37% approval rating overall, Donald Trump is still popular with morons, idiots, nincompoops, imbeciles, dingbats, birdbrains, dunderheads, numskulls, nitwits, doofuses, twits, clods, dolts, oafs, schmucks, schnooks, stupid people, and Republicans.
In Chicago, the consensus is "fuck Trump."
October 18, 2025 at 11:10 PM
In Chicago, the consensus is "fuck Trump."