Matty Breeze
@mattybreeze1984.bsky.social
Just your average, 40-year-old man with a favorite dinosaur.
shop.figurecollections.com
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Matty Breeze
@mattybreeze1984.bsky.social
· Nov 23
FUN FACT ABOUT ME:
I’m independently wealthy because my Dad created all of the fake meat for the original Super Market Sweep.
I’m independently wealthy because my Dad created all of the fake meat for the original Super Market Sweep.
Did Stan Lee name January Jones and Cleopatra Coleman?
November 17, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Did Stan Lee name January Jones and Cleopatra Coleman?
Hopefully Vlad’s there taking pictures.
November 16, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Hopefully Vlad’s there taking pictures.
I could have sworn there was supposed to be some kinda supernatural element to Eddington.
Wasn’t there something weird with cows on the poster or something?
Wasn’t there something weird with cows on the poster or something?
November 15, 2025 at 6:09 AM
I could have sworn there was supposed to be some kinda supernatural element to Eddington.
Wasn’t there something weird with cows on the poster or something?
Wasn’t there something weird with cows on the poster or something?
The short-lived Will Forte FOX sitcom The Last Man on Earth is such a goddamn forgotten gem of the 2010s.
November 14, 2025 at 6:41 PM
The short-lived Will Forte FOX sitcom The Last Man on Earth is such a goddamn forgotten gem of the 2010s.
Reposted by Matty Breeze
Happy "I'M RIBS" day to all who celebrate!
@scottaukerman.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social @shaundiston.bsky.social @ohsewnerdy.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social
@scottaukerman.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social @shaundiston.bsky.social @ohsewnerdy.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social
November 14, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Happy "I'M RIBS" day to all who celebrate!
@scottaukerman.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social @shaundiston.bsky.social @ohsewnerdy.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social
@scottaukerman.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social @shaundiston.bsky.social @ohsewnerdy.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social
Reposted by Matty Breeze
ALL I want to do is make a rom-com that’s a mix of Clerks and Look Who’s Coming to Dinner, set in the universe of the original Planet of the Apes.
Oh! And the soundtrack is all songs by The Kinks.
Is that so much to ask?
Oh! And the soundtrack is all songs by The Kinks.
Is that so much to ask?
November 14, 2025 at 1:26 AM
ALL I want to do is make a rom-com that’s a mix of Clerks and Look Who’s Coming to Dinner, set in the universe of the original Planet of the Apes.
Oh! And the soundtrack is all songs by The Kinks.
Is that so much to ask?
Oh! And the soundtrack is all songs by The Kinks.
Is that so much to ask?
My biggest fear in life is having to go under anesthesia, because I already say some WEIRD SHIT when I have all of my mental faculties.
November 14, 2025 at 12:04 AM
My biggest fear in life is having to go under anesthesia, because I already say some WEIRD SHIT when I have all of my mental faculties.
I’m trying to compose a joke about shaving Schrodinger’s cat with Occam’s razor, but I can’t tell if it’s funny or not.
The simplest punchline is probably the best though.
The simplest punchline is probably the best though.
November 13, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I’m trying to compose a joke about shaving Schrodinger’s cat with Occam’s razor, but I can’t tell if it’s funny or not.
The simplest punchline is probably the best though.
The simplest punchline is probably the best though.
Dreamt that I was invited to be on @cbbworld.bsky.social as a representative of @figurecollections.bsky.social, and immediately hit the mic with my mouth, causing a loud screeching noise, breaking the mic, and causing the whole show to stop-down.
Probably about as good as it would go in real life.
Probably about as good as it would go in real life.
November 12, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Dreamt that I was invited to be on @cbbworld.bsky.social as a representative of @figurecollections.bsky.social, and immediately hit the mic with my mouth, causing a loud screeching noise, breaking the mic, and causing the whole show to stop-down.
Probably about as good as it would go in real life.
Probably about as good as it would go in real life.
The LA County Coroner has confirmed that legendary KISS guitarist Ace Frehley’s cause of death was an acute case of being Ace Frehley.
November 11, 2025 at 6:32 PM
The LA County Coroner has confirmed that legendary KISS guitarist Ace Frehley’s cause of death was an acute case of being Ace Frehley.
BREAKING NEWS: Production of Christy VS The Smashing Machine has been halted for unknown reasons.
November 10, 2025 at 9:47 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Production of Christy VS The Smashing Machine has been halted for unknown reasons.
I was mere milliseconds away from googling who on Earth Dominic Purcell could have played on the early 90’s Judd Hirsch sitcom Dear John.
On this week’s SCOTT HASNT SEEN, we watch BLADE: TRINITY, the third entry in the franchise starring Wesley Snipes as the Marvel superhero!
Joining us is @kibblesmith.com, comedian, author, and the writer behind many great comic books!
Available exclusively at @cbbworld.bsky.social!
Joining us is @kibblesmith.com, comedian, author, and the writer behind many great comic books!
Available exclusively at @cbbworld.bsky.social!
November 10, 2025 at 7:42 PM
I was mere milliseconds away from googling who on Earth Dominic Purcell could have played on the early 90’s Judd Hirsch sitcom Dear John.
I don’t mind stand-ups who host #SNL just doing material for their monologue, but they’ve got to figure out a better way to transition out of it.
“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”
“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”
November 9, 2025 at 7:16 PM
I don’t mind stand-ups who host #SNL just doing material for their monologue, but they’ve got to figure out a better way to transition out of it.
“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”
“…no, it’s the BABY that has herpes, not ME! Anyways, we’ve got a great show for you. Jamiroquai is here, so stick around!”
Having previously played Elvis, and now Frankenstein’s Monster, Jacob Elordi is just a Santa Claus away from playing the holy trinity of starring roles.
November 9, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Having previously played Elvis, and now Frankenstein’s Monster, Jacob Elordi is just a Santa Claus away from playing the holy trinity of starring roles.
I was home sick yesterday, so I’m back on the B.R.A.T. diet.
Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.
Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.
November 7, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I was home sick yesterday, so I’m back on the B.R.A.T. diet.
Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.
Nothing but Bacon cheeseburgers and RATatouille for the next few days.
@preternia.com, got a shipping update from Amazon you might be interested in.
November 7, 2025 at 4:03 PM
@preternia.com, got a shipping update from Amazon you might be interested in.
Did they remember to remove the perforated pin-feed holes?
November 5, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Did they remember to remove the perforated pin-feed holes?
November 5, 2025 at 2:50 PM
TARDIS SIGHTING!!!
November 4, 2025 at 6:27 PM
TARDIS SIGHTING!!!
Alright, on the count of three everyone do the joke. 1,2,3,…
21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.
21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.
November 4, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Alright, on the count of three everyone do the joke. 1,2,3,…
21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.
21 gun salute to a hunting buddy’s face.
My dearest ladies, and most esteemed of gentlemen, I’ve gathered you all here tonight because it would seem as if a Blippi has been moidered!
November 3, 2025 at 9:47 PM
My dearest ladies, and most esteemed of gentlemen, I’ve gathered you all here tonight because it would seem as if a Blippi has been moidered!
Rewatching Jurassic Whatever 7 and the first audible line is “How many times are we going to keep doing this?”
My thoughts exactly.
My thoughts exactly.
November 2, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Rewatching Jurassic Whatever 7 and the first audible line is “How many times are we going to keep doing this?”
My thoughts exactly.
My thoughts exactly.