Matthew FitzSimmons
@matthewfitzsimmons.bsky.social
Lives in Washington D.C., writes novels, provides shade and a central meeting place at concerts. Rep'd by David Hale Smith at Inkwell Management.
Latest novel is The Slate, available now: https://a.co/d/dDW6gce
Latest novel is The Slate, available now: https://a.co/d/dDW6gce
Intolerable Cruelty reminds me how much I enjoy dumbsmart George Clooney. Also, Paul Adelstein is the real unsung hero here. 🎥
December 4, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Intolerable Cruelty reminds me how much I enjoy dumbsmart George Clooney. Also, Paul Adelstein is the real unsung hero here. 🎥
And her mama...
December 2, 2025 at 6:24 PM
And her mama...
Did movie stars learn that Phillip Seymour Hoffman had been cast in their next project get excited, or were they like.... fuck, I'm going to get murdered live on celluloid?
December 2, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Did movie stars learn that Phillip Seymour Hoffman had been cast in their next project get excited, or were they like.... fuck, I'm going to get murdered live on celluloid?
Hey, Tock needs a slice.
December 2, 2025 at 5:57 PM
Hey, Tock needs a slice.
My favorite things about The Nice Guys is that to keep his streak alive, Shane Black has the final scene takes place in a bar decked out for Christmas.
December 2, 2025 at 5:08 PM
My favorite things about The Nice Guys is that to keep his streak alive, Shane Black has the final scene takes place in a bar decked out for Christmas.
I would watch a Die Hard prequel that is just Ellis macking on the ladies and making that green.
December 2, 2025 at 4:19 PM
I would watch a Die Hard prequel that is just Ellis macking on the ladies and making that green.
The Fresh Prince of Jerk Heaven, and it's not even close.
December 2, 2025 at 4:14 PM
The Fresh Prince of Jerk Heaven, and it's not even close.
Highlander is a fucking terrible franchise. Clancy Brown at least gave a fuck and redeems the first one. Queen also rocks.
December 2, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Highlander is a fucking terrible franchise. Clancy Brown at least gave a fuck and redeems the first one. Queen also rocks.
This was originally a prime time show in '61, but later was a staple on Saturday mornings.
December 2, 2025 at 3:18 PM
This was originally a prime time show in '61, but later was a staple on Saturday mornings.
Detective De Bonair fresh from solving ze heist at ze Louvre es back on ze case.
November 28, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Detective De Bonair fresh from solving ze heist at ze Louvre es back on ze case.
It is tough sledding.
November 27, 2025 at 6:00 PM
It is tough sledding.
A perfect double feature -
Running on Empty / One Battle After Another
Running on Empty / One Battle After Another
November 27, 2025 at 1:55 PM
A perfect double feature -
Running on Empty / One Battle After Another
Running on Empty / One Battle After Another
29 days until deadline and 150 pages of rewrites to go makes Matthew something something.
November 21, 2025 at 2:06 PM
29 days until deadline and 150 pages of rewrites to go makes Matthew something something.
"My dear Donald, don't call them piggy. Just lure them into a consulate and have them dismembered."
November 18, 2025 at 7:02 PM
"My dear Donald, don't call them piggy. Just lure them into a consulate and have them dismembered."
What perfect album came out the year you turned 16?
November 18, 2025 at 12:12 PM
What perfect album came out the year you turned 16?
You buy a bird feeder with dreams of beautiful plumage and rarely glimpsed avian wonders only to see thirty dollars worth of birdseed ravaged by a horde of sparrows in under forty-five seconds.
November 14, 2025 at 6:42 PM
You buy a bird feeder with dreams of beautiful plumage and rarely glimpsed avian wonders only to see thirty dollars worth of birdseed ravaged by a horde of sparrows in under forty-five seconds.
Plur1bus arrived in DC this morning.
November 13, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Plur1bus arrived in DC this morning.
Lawyers putting on a hell of a reenactment at the Subway Sandwich Guy’s trial today.
November 4, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Lawyers putting on a hell of a reenactment at the Subway Sandwich Guy’s trial today.