mattblocksma.bsky.social
@mattblocksma.bsky.social
I could see myself buying a mirror
September 29, 2025 at 3:15 AM
Reposted
Such an odd thing to read in the newspaper
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/03/u...
September 4, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Reposted
happy labor day
September 1, 2025 at 11:19 AM
BIL: we shouldn't throw these paint cans in the dumpster, I'd feel like a real prick over the environment.
Me: do you have a place for this beer can?
BIL: I throw them in the trash lol
August 31, 2025 at 1:36 PM
BIL: Bill Burr sucks since he went woke
BIL: puts on Bowie and Queen
August 31, 2025 at 1:34 PM
Tik Taco
June 20, 2025 at 9:26 AM
What's with all the juggalo shit this hotel?
June 1, 2025 at 11:26 PM
I saw a BMW X8 with the badges shaved off. I knew it was a BMW X8, because they bought a custom license plate that said "BMW X8"
April 29, 2025 at 5:07 PM
18 years of prostate cancer and 14 years of COPD. The toughest mother fucker I've ever met is free now. RIP pops.
March 17, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Tonight there was a tiny lizard in my uncle's house and with very little effort I ushered him outside. Nobody saw it but I bet my uncle would be really grateful.
March 11, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Why would anyone purchase priority boarding? The seats at the gate are better than the seats on the plane. We have assigned seats.
March 8, 2025 at 10:16 AM
The "I don't see color" crowd sure noticed pretty quickly that there wasn't any white people in the halftime show.
February 11, 2025 at 1:52 PM
I bet Bernie Sanders would have beat Hillary if he spelled his name Burny.
January 23, 2025 at 11:06 AM
Me walking out of the break room after taking last place in the chili cook off:
Hope none of you have to pass a drug test.
January 22, 2025 at 6:48 PM
There's a Mac and Cheese Fest locally. It's gotta sound like an orgy in there, right?
January 21, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Holy shit I didn't think it was this blatant wtf are we doing
January 21, 2025 at 10:29 AM
Tropical Smoothie is pretty good, but I just added a generous shot of tequila to it, and they need to open a bar because this is spectacular.
January 17, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Shit they're on to me
The media since 2015.
January 14, 2025 at 1:13 AM
Maybe someone read Green Eggs and Ham to Trump and now he thinks he can lower egg prices by invading Greenland.
January 8, 2025 at 2:44 PM
The Gulf of Mexico will now simply be called X the everything gulf
January 8, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Me coming from the kitchen: babe, I don't know how to tell you this...

Wife: are we out of worcestershire sauce?

And that's what 15 years together is like.
January 5, 2025 at 9:03 PM
We're all done leaving the house today, and I'm making a family favorite for dinner tonight...why not have 12 nights of cocktails and make it a journey?
January 3, 2025 at 8:54 PM
Reposted
December 25, 2024 at 2:05 PM
They should use ziplocks like the ones from the weed store on bags of peperoni because I need to be slowed the fuck down.
December 9, 2024 at 2:58 AM
I've never seen this show before, but after the first act, I thought there would be more nut cracking.
December 7, 2024 at 10:37 PM