see i'm goldstar-by-default so i never had that phase in my life

this is so fucked up

It's really a Dolls paradise here. All the cis women are tall, angular and dress like mesh goths. I am functionally unclockable

"google.com what's the worst that'll happen if this bread i'm eating had mold on it that i didn't notice"

"don't worry about it :)"

"ok thank you google AI i love you google AI"

something like that

fern likes me the rest of you allez chier

this is so true. like i'm so used to being taller than the people i meet that when i meet someone who's even half an inch taller than me i notice immediately; i literally did not ever feel like you were taller than me even as i was looking up to talk to you

its my bad tbh its like moving the furniture around when you have a blind cat. im messing with your muscle memory

doctor house

ok well im not the right person to make that joke cause im a degenerate but nobody’s hiring ghostwriters for tweets