Luke Kennard
@lukekennard.bsky.social
Novelist, poet, lecturer at University of Birmingham.
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Luke Kennard
@lukekennard.bsky.social
· Sep 15
Reminder that my new poetry collection (my SEVENTH because I apparently cannot take a hint) is available from Picador www.panmacmillan.com/authors/luke...
Playing my videogame with a hot water bottle
November 17, 2025 at 9:48 PM
Playing my videogame with a hot water bottle
I’m trying to work out what the joke is with this Xmas jumper and I think the joke is just that we *recognise a leading brand of word processor*
November 17, 2025 at 9:05 PM
I’m trying to work out what the joke is with this Xmas jumper and I think the joke is just that we *recognise a leading brand of word processor*
Is the constant speculation and leaking about budgets good for democracy, or for stuff generally? Maybe not doing it would be just as bad and things would keep getting worse anyway, but
November 17, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Is the constant speculation and leaking about budgets good for democracy, or for stuff generally? Maybe not doing it would be just as bad and things would keep getting worse anyway, but
Reposted by Luke Kennard
When you use cut in Word, the text is deleted forever and when you paste it, a complete new identical copy of the text with identical memories is reproduced on the document
November 17, 2025 at 4:52 PM
When you use cut in Word, the text is deleted forever and when you paste it, a complete new identical copy of the text with identical memories is reproduced on the document
Kurt Envelope tells his envelope about why he’s going to town to get an envelope the envelope will surprise you
November 17, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Kurt Envelope tells his envelope about why he’s going to town to get an envelope the envelope will surprise you
Bro I’m so sorry your novel came out at the exact point of i) death of novel ii) re-centring of masculinity in literary fiction iii) return of a robust critical culture - lousy timing, bro
November 17, 2025 at 7:53 AM
Bro I’m so sorry your novel came out at the exact point of i) death of novel ii) re-centring of masculinity in literary fiction iii) return of a robust critical culture - lousy timing, bro
Still not sure what there is to celebrate about 900 out of 1,000 people not liking me enough to like it, Instagram, but sure whatever crack open the warm champagne
November 16, 2025 at 1:30 PM
Still not sure what there is to celebrate about 900 out of 1,000 people not liking me enough to like it, Instagram, but sure whatever crack open the warm champagne
You made content but are you made content?
November 15, 2025 at 6:57 PM
You made content but are you made content?
Longbarrow has a beautifully curated list. Matthew Clegg’s Cazique is an essential collection for me and I don’t say so often enough. And I have been meaning to get hold of Eely!
A seasonal reminder that you can order our titles from our website; orders are despatched within 24 hours. Recent hardbacks include Steve Ely's 'Eely' and Angelina D'Roza's 'The Blue Hour' (you'll also receive a free 'Inventory' pamphlet). Order here:
longbarrowpress.com/current-publ...
longbarrowpress.com/current-publ...
November 15, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Longbarrow has a beautifully curated list. Matthew Clegg’s Cazique is an essential collection for me and I don’t say so often enough. And I have been meaning to get hold of Eely!
- After ice creams would it be okay to get milkshakes?
- No. Absolutely not. What are you an ancient Roman?
- No. Absolutely not. What are you an ancient Roman?
November 15, 2025 at 12:27 PM
- After ice creams would it be okay to get milkshakes?
- No. Absolutely not. What are you an ancient Roman?
- No. Absolutely not. What are you an ancient Roman?
People worry about poetry readings being too long but I’ve been at a boxing event with my kid for four and a half hours.
November 14, 2025 at 10:59 PM
People worry about poetry readings being too long but I’ve been at a boxing event with my kid for four and a half hours.
Reposted by Luke Kennard
We as a nation have really lost the true meaning of Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands by the Perimeter Fence and Screams for Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing Day
happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands by the Perimeter Fence and Screams for Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing day
November 14, 2025 at 1:27 PM
We as a nation have really lost the true meaning of Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands by the Perimeter Fence and Screams for Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing Day
I got to do my inaugural lecture this evening and really enjoyed it.
November 13, 2025 at 11:25 PM
I got to do my inaugural lecture this evening and really enjoyed it.
So much of my life involves a fixation on trying not to drive anywhere in rush hour or trying not to get lunch during the lunch rush (i.e. lunch time) and really it comes down to a *lack of humility*
November 13, 2025 at 1:10 PM
So much of my life involves a fixation on trying not to drive anywhere in rush hour or trying not to get lunch during the lunch rush (i.e. lunch time) and really it comes down to a *lack of humility*
This is a really great poem about onions from 1989.
www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazi...
www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazi...
Onions
It’s true it can make you weep to peel them, to unfurl and to tease from the taut ball first the brittle, caramel-colored and decrepit papery outside layer, the least recent the reticent onion wrapped...
www.poetryfoundation.org
November 12, 2025 at 2:51 PM
This is a really great poem about onions from 1989.
www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazi...
www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazi...
All I want is to walk into a room and feel accepted for who I am. I don’t axolotl.
November 12, 2025 at 1:28 PM
All I want is to walk into a room and feel accepted for who I am. I don’t axolotl.
‘Sorry that the trains haven’t been running for 2 days in the second largest city in the U.K. with no promise they’ll be running tomorrow, we simply cannot be bothered’
November 12, 2025 at 11:34 AM
‘Sorry that the trains haven’t been running for 2 days in the second largest city in the U.K. with no promise they’ll be running tomorrow, we simply cannot be bothered’
Read emails are sweet but those unread are sweeter
November 11, 2025 at 1:44 PM
Read emails are sweet but those unread are sweeter
Was there ever a contestant on The Gong Show whose act was playing a big gong?
November 11, 2025 at 7:44 AM
Was there ever a contestant on The Gong Show whose act was playing a big gong?
The new trend sweeping millennial dads is “Profound Parenting” where you only say really profound things to your kids
November 10, 2025 at 9:48 PM
The new trend sweeping millennial dads is “Profound Parenting” where you only say really profound things to your kids
It’s the novels published just after literature stops being cool again I feel sorry for
November 10, 2025 at 6:26 PM
It’s the novels published just after literature stops being cool again I feel sorry for
This wasn’t the poem I meant to photocopy. I guess let’s just try to write another poem inspired by it anyway.
November 10, 2025 at 6:05 PM
This wasn’t the poem I meant to photocopy. I guess let’s just try to write another poem inspired by it anyway.
You bully me for my odd socks on Odd Socks Against Bullying Day?!
November 10, 2025 at 8:15 AM
You bully me for my odd socks on Odd Socks Against Bullying Day?!
If nothing else the last two months of tooth stuff means that I will be identifiable by my dental records with a 0% margin of error.
November 9, 2025 at 6:12 PM
If nothing else the last two months of tooth stuff means that I will be identifiable by my dental records with a 0% margin of error.
As the recipes say, you can use crème freche instead of cream in leek and potato soup but you need to be aware that it will make it taste almost entirely of crème freche.
November 9, 2025 at 3:36 PM
As the recipes say, you can use crème freche instead of cream in leek and potato soup but you need to be aware that it will make it taste almost entirely of crème freche.