The trauma of adoption motherloss is compounded as adoptees are repeatedly told to be grateful for said trauma/loss & that their mystery first-mother "loved them so much they gave them away" which equates love with abandonment. Imagine telling this to a child who's mother died in childbirth. 😬 🥚

I try to respond straight-faced & in a deadpan tone, "Adoption is human trafficking." And just sit in the awkward. 🥚

I'm curious how LDA played a role w/ her "no child of mine…” comment. Was it prompted by LDA behavioural differences? Or was that your LDA interpretation of other comments?  It amazes me when folks lie to avoid accountability. “I never said that” or “That never happened”... gaslighting crazy-making.

I am so sorry that happened to you. 💔 🫂

Yeah, the complexities of truth; hurtful & freeing.

Oh I got it, neurospicy in processing information! 👍

My apologies, I don't know what LDA is. Are you okay to explain?

Yeah, this is an offensive one. Victims of the one unconsenting party. (And before someone is offended, I realize birth parents can be victims of coercion & may not have consented...)

Lols! 😆 Yes, kept person do explain!

I read this as a critique on you, the adoptee, not meeting expectations rather than the institution of adoption... but that might just be me projecting my own lived experience. 💔

I asked my a-parents about my birth cert. I was too young to articulate big ideas. But I knew something was off; that there was a 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲. That this record replaced something important. Something I wanted but wasn't allowed to ask for. The response was "We're listed because we're your parents". 🥚

I shared this photo with one of my daughters today via text. Her response: 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑢𝑝 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛. 𝑁𝑜 𝑝𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑡𝑓. 🥚

Me too, my friend. Me too.

When I was 10 or 12, my adoptive mom commented that the change to open adoptions (ie relationship/involvement w/ birth parents) would've prevented her from applying. My mind was blown! Open adoption??? I wanted that so deeply, but even as a child I understood it wasn't safe to say so. 💔 🥚

I am sorry this happened to you. Wishing you support & peace. 🫂

It's not difficult to generalize the experiences of trafficked infants&children. It's bad. Even in the best case scenario (raised by top-tier emotionally intelligent & financially stable purchasers); it's bad. It's possible to prioritize the needs of children, but adoption systematically doesn't. 🥚

Infant plenary adoption is human trafficking for the benefit of adopters (buyers) & adoption agencies (sellers).... in case you wish to hear from of an infant adoptee (now adult). Erasing one's identity is a human rights violation. 🥚

😆

"I really feel seen. Thank you! 💕" would be my go-to response here. 🤦‍♀️