Leni Quinn
@leniquinn.bsky.social
I write funny things. Or weird, speculative things—or both! "Leni Quinn" is a pen name; the real me has also had over 20 stories published in literary journals. (Note that Leni/real me are friendly and will (likely) follow back!)
"Your intent was just to watch that weird show with what’s-her-name, so, on trivia nights, you could casually bolster your pop-culture street cred; you didn’t realize you were signing up for the streaming subscription equivalent of the mob."
medium.com/the-haven/hi...
#writingcommunity #humor
medium.com/the-haven/hi...
#writingcommunity #humor
Hi, I’m the Cancel Button. Good Luck Finding Me!
Spoiler: you won’t
medium.com
January 16, 2026 at 1:43 PM
"Your intent was just to watch that weird show with what’s-her-name, so, on trivia nights, you could casually bolster your pop-culture street cred; you didn’t realize you were signing up for the streaming subscription equivalent of the mob."
medium.com/the-haven/hi...
#writingcommunity #humor
medium.com/the-haven/hi...
#writingcommunity #humor
"In the meantime, I’m just gonna sit here. All comfy behind my eight screens and two special offers."
From "Hi, I'm the Cancel Button. Good Luck Finding Me!"
medium.com/the-haven/hi...
#humor #writing #writingcommunity #satire
From "Hi, I'm the Cancel Button. Good Luck Finding Me!"
medium.com/the-haven/hi...
#humor #writing #writingcommunity #satire
Hi, I’m the Cancel Button. Good Luck Finding Me!
Spoiler: you won’t
medium.com
January 15, 2026 at 5:55 PM
"In the meantime, I’m just gonna sit here. All comfy behind my eight screens and two special offers."
From "Hi, I'm the Cancel Button. Good Luck Finding Me!"
medium.com/the-haven/hi...
#humor #writing #writingcommunity #satire
From "Hi, I'm the Cancel Button. Good Luck Finding Me!"
medium.com/the-haven/hi...
#humor #writing #writingcommunity #satire
New essay on #Medium:
(Humor/Satire 😃)
"A Beginner’s Guide to Boredom"
medium.com/pitfall/a-be...
#writingcommunity #writing #humor
(Humor/Satire 😃)
"A Beginner’s Guide to Boredom"
medium.com/pitfall/a-be...
#writingcommunity #writing #humor
A Beginner’s Guide to Boredom
Start your journey toward mind-numbing blankness today
medium.com
January 15, 2026 at 12:07 PM
New essay on #Medium:
(Humor/Satire 😃)
"A Beginner’s Guide to Boredom"
medium.com/pitfall/a-be...
#writingcommunity #writing #humor
(Humor/Satire 😃)
"A Beginner’s Guide to Boredom"
medium.com/pitfall/a-be...
#writingcommunity #writing #humor
"Perhaps the small, shining device is a tiny window? But although I rapped on it with my knuckles, it did not seem as if you could hear me. You were too busy humming, your eyes closed, lying there in your bed."
medium.com/the-haven/an...
#satire #humor #writing
medium.com/the-haven/an...
#satire #humor #writing
An 1850s Farm Wife Reviews Your “Slow Morning” Routine on TikTok
And has several concerns
medium.com
January 12, 2026 at 5:50 PM
"Perhaps the small, shining device is a tiny window? But although I rapped on it with my knuckles, it did not seem as if you could hear me. You were too busy humming, your eyes closed, lying there in your bed."
medium.com/the-haven/an...
#satire #humor #writing
medium.com/the-haven/an...
#satire #humor #writing
"An 1850s Farm Wife Reviews Your 'Slow Morning' Routine on TikTok"
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/an...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/an...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
An 1850s Farm Wife Reviews Your “Slow Morning” Routine on TikTok
And has several concerns
medium.com
January 12, 2026 at 4:16 PM
"An 1850s Farm Wife Reviews Your 'Slow Morning' Routine on TikTok"
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/an...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/an...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
"You won’t find supermodels here, but rather wholesome, pink-cheeked natives that look as if they eat a lot of vegetables and also like to model sweaters on the side, just for fun."
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
So You Want To Live In The Town Where This Multi-Season Netflix Romance Show Was Filmed?
Here’s what you need to know
medium.com
January 11, 2026 at 6:02 PM
"You won’t find supermodels here, but rather wholesome, pink-cheeked natives that look as if they eat a lot of vegetables and also like to model sweaters on the side, just for fun."
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
New essay!
"An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me"
(Satire 😃 )
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #privacy #technology
"An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me"
(Satire 😃 )
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #privacy #technology
An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me
Because, obviously, I need a lot of help
medium.com
January 11, 2026 at 3:32 PM
New essay!
"An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me"
(Satire 😃 )
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #privacy #technology
"An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me"
(Satire 😃 )
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #privacy #technology
"Effective immediately, any app that would like to track me is enthusiastically invited to do so!"
New essay!
"An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
New essay!
"An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me
Because, obviously, I need a lot of help
medium.com
January 11, 2026 at 2:19 PM
"Effective immediately, any app that would like to track me is enthusiastically invited to do so!"
New essay!
"An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
New essay!
"An Open Invitation to Every App That Wants to Track Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #satire #writingcommunity
"I hail not from just any grocery chain but one that is forward-thinking, faintly (and playfully) self-deprecating. Where thrift is packaged as smartness, rather than grubby penny-pinching.
Hallowed be its aisles!"
New essay!
medium.com/the-pub/i-a-...
#humor #writingcommunity
Hallowed be its aisles!"
New essay!
medium.com/the-pub/i-a-...
#humor #writingcommunity
I, a Highly Sought-After Tote Bag, Was Dragged Through a Discount Grocery Store
You cannot stuff a box of 120 fish sticks into me, and that is by design
medium.com
January 10, 2026 at 4:57 PM
"I hail not from just any grocery chain but one that is forward-thinking, faintly (and playfully) self-deprecating. Where thrift is packaged as smartness, rather than grubby penny-pinching.
Hallowed be its aisles!"
New essay!
medium.com/the-pub/i-a-...
#humor #writingcommunity
Hallowed be its aisles!"
New essay!
medium.com/the-pub/i-a-...
#humor #writingcommunity
So you want to live in the town from that streaming romance show.
Read on:
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #writingcommunity #
Read on:
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #writingcommunity #
So You Want To Live In The Town Where This Multi-Season Netflix Romance Show Was Filmed?
Here’s what you need to know
medium.com
January 9, 2026 at 3:24 PM
So you want to live in the town from that streaming romance show.
Read on:
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #writingcommunity #
Read on:
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #writingcommunity #
"Simply purchase this property and turn it into an alternative space for your worst-performing employees. When they complain about not having windows, you can counter by telling them that at least they still have a job."
medium.com/the-haven/op...
#humor #writingcommunity
medium.com/the-haven/op...
#humor #writingcommunity
Opportunity Knocks (In the Dark): 500K Sq Ft for Vampires, Office Workers, or Shadowy Creatures
This former data center with flexible zoning may be just what you need!
medium.com
January 9, 2026 at 1:37 PM
"Simply purchase this property and turn it into an alternative space for your worst-performing employees. When they complain about not having windows, you can counter by telling them that at least they still have a job."
medium.com/the-haven/op...
#humor #writingcommunity
medium.com/the-haven/op...
#humor #writingcommunity
If you've ever dreamed of buying a windowless data center, this essay is for you!
"Opportunity Knocks (In the Dark): 500K Sq Ft for Vampires, Office Workers, or Shadowy Creatures"
medium.com/the-haven/op...
#humor #writingcommunity
"Opportunity Knocks (In the Dark): 500K Sq Ft for Vampires, Office Workers, or Shadowy Creatures"
medium.com/the-haven/op...
#humor #writingcommunity
Opportunity Knocks (In the Dark): 500K Sq Ft for Vampires, Office Workers, or Shadowy Creatures
This former data center with flexible zoning may be just what you need!
medium.com
January 8, 2026 at 5:45 PM
If you've ever dreamed of buying a windowless data center, this essay is for you!
"Opportunity Knocks (In the Dark): 500K Sq Ft for Vampires, Office Workers, or Shadowy Creatures"
medium.com/the-haven/op...
#humor #writingcommunity
"Opportunity Knocks (In the Dark): 500K Sq Ft for Vampires, Office Workers, or Shadowy Creatures"
medium.com/the-haven/op...
#humor #writingcommunity
New essay!
"I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass of the doorway you were rushing towards, and realized I looked like some sort of angry red polyester creature attempting to defend itself."
☂️
"I'm a Broken Umbrella—Let Me Live My Truth"
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#humor #writingcommunity
"I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass of the doorway you were rushing towards, and realized I looked like some sort of angry red polyester creature attempting to defend itself."
☂️
"I'm a Broken Umbrella—Let Me Live My Truth"
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#humor #writingcommunity
I’m a Broken Umbrella — Let Me Live My Truth
Please stop pretending that I work
medium.com
January 7, 2026 at 2:34 PM
New essay!
"I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass of the doorway you were rushing towards, and realized I looked like some sort of angry red polyester creature attempting to defend itself."
☂️
"I'm a Broken Umbrella—Let Me Live My Truth"
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#humor #writingcommunity
"I caught a glimpse of myself in the glass of the doorway you were rushing towards, and realized I looked like some sort of angry red polyester creature attempting to defend itself."
☂️
"I'm a Broken Umbrella—Let Me Live My Truth"
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#humor #writingcommunity
"So You Want To Live In The Town Where This Multi-Season Netflix Romance Show Was Filmed?"
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #writingcommunity #satire
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #writingcommunity #satire
So You Want To Live In The Town Where This Multi-Season Netflix Romance Show Was Filmed?
Here’s what you need to know
medium.com
January 6, 2026 at 8:35 PM
"So You Want To Live In The Town Where This Multi-Season Netflix Romance Show Was Filmed?"
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #writingcommunity #satire
New essay!
medium.com/the-haven/so...
#humor #writingcommunity #satire
"'Wow — you’re not even microwavable,” she said, reverently. 'So, you’re like, kind of an analog dinner — right?'"
New essay!
medium.com/the-pub/i-am...
#humor #writingcommunity
New essay!
medium.com/the-pub/i-am...
#humor #writingcommunity
I Am a Frozen Veal Parmigiana Dinner From 1976, and This Is My Diary
I’m more ancient than Ancient Grains
medium.com
January 5, 2026 at 5:52 PM
"'Wow — you’re not even microwavable,” she said, reverently. 'So, you’re like, kind of an analog dinner — right?'"
New essay!
medium.com/the-pub/i-am...
#humor #writingcommunity
New essay!
medium.com/the-pub/i-am...
#humor #writingcommunity
“I’m Polly, your plot hole concierge! Nice to meet you. Would you like a tour?”
medium.com/shadows-in-t...
#writing #writingcommunity #tv
medium.com/shadows-in-t...
#writing #writingcommunity #tv
Here’s What Happened When I Fell Into the Giant Mega Plot Hole To End All Plot Holes
It was…weird
medium.com
January 4, 2026 at 4:47 PM
“I’m Polly, your plot hole concierge! Nice to meet you. Would you like a tour?”
medium.com/shadows-in-t...
#writing #writingcommunity #tv
medium.com/shadows-in-t...
#writing #writingcommunity #tv
New essay!
"I Am a Frozen Veal Parmigiana Dinner From 1976, and This Is My Diary"
medium.com/the-pub/i-am...
#writingcommunity #humor #amwriting
"I Am a Frozen Veal Parmigiana Dinner From 1976, and This Is My Diary"
medium.com/the-pub/i-am...
#writingcommunity #humor #amwriting
I Am a Frozen Veal Parmigiana Dinner From 1976, and This Is My Diary
I’m more ancient than Ancient Grains
medium.com
January 4, 2026 at 3:39 PM
New essay!
"I Am a Frozen Veal Parmigiana Dinner From 1976, and This Is My Diary"
medium.com/the-pub/i-am...
#writingcommunity #humor #amwriting
"I Am a Frozen Veal Parmigiana Dinner From 1976, and This Is My Diary"
medium.com/the-pub/i-am...
#writingcommunity #humor #amwriting
"Then, Ian the iPod broke in. 'You 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘣𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘴,' he sniffed in his faux-British accent."
From: "I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writingcommunity #retrotech
From: "I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writingcommunity #retrotech
I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me
There’s no such thing as “Duct Tape v16.12218”
medium.com
December 31, 2025 at 1:40 PM
"Then, Ian the iPod broke in. 'You 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘣𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘴,' he sniffed in his faux-British accent."
From: "I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writingcommunity #retrotech
From: "I’m a Roll of Duct Tape Trapped in a Junk Drawer With an iPod That Thinks It’s Better Than Me"
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#writingcommunity #retrotech
"You have decided that, while the Old You was the type of person to keep an expired bottle of salad dressing in her refrigerator, the New You — meaning, the person you will be when you open your eyes on January 1, 2026 — will not at all be that type of person."
🥂
medium.com/quirky-rants...
🥂
medium.com/quirky-rants...
We Congratulate You for Finally Throwing Out That Expired Salad Dressing
But we have to wonder…why now?
medium.com
December 30, 2025 at 5:53 PM
"You have decided that, while the Old You was the type of person to keep an expired bottle of salad dressing in her refrigerator, the New You — meaning, the person you will be when you open your eyes on January 1, 2026 — will not at all be that type of person."
🥂
medium.com/quirky-rants...
🥂
medium.com/quirky-rants...
"Today, at the very end of 2025, you reached into the side door of the refrigerator and grabbed the bottle of Kraft Creamy Italian Dressing that expired in August of 2022.
Wow! We are so proud of you."
From:
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#humor #writingcommunity
Wow! We are so proud of you."
From:
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#humor #writingcommunity
We Congratulate You for Finally Throwing Out That Expired Salad Dressing
But we have to wonder…why now?
medium.com
December 30, 2025 at 1:17 PM
"Today, at the very end of 2025, you reached into the side door of the refrigerator and grabbed the bottle of Kraft Creamy Italian Dressing that expired in August of 2022.
Wow! We are so proud of you."
From:
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#humor #writingcommunity
Wow! We are so proud of you."
From:
medium.com/quirky-rants...
#humor #writingcommunity
New Year’s Eve.
Three cocktails. 🍸
Three different agendas.
"A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #humor #funny
Three cocktails. 🍸
Three different agendas.
"A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #humor #funny
A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything
It’s New Year’s Eve, but only one of the three is there to party!
medium.com
December 30, 2025 at 12:37 PM
New Year’s Eve.
Three cocktails. 🍸
Three different agendas.
"A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #humor #funny
Three cocktails. 🍸
Three different agendas.
"A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything"
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #humor #funny
“OMG, if my stem looks fat, don’t look at me,” the Clarified Milk Punch said desperately.
New essay!
“A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything”
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #humor #newyears
New essay!
“A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything”
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #humor #newyears
A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything
It’s New Year’s Eve, but only one of the three is there to party!
medium.com
December 29, 2025 at 6:27 PM
“OMG, if my stem looks fat, don’t look at me,” the Clarified Milk Punch said desperately.
New essay!
“A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything”
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #humor #newyears
New essay!
“A Manhattan, a Clarified Milk Punch, and a Green Tea Shot Can’t Agree About Anything”
medium.com/the-haven/a-...
#writingcommunity #humor #newyears
“Where I come from, intense human-dragon bonds are essential to the main plot. But, as far as I can tell, the only thing that seems essential to the main plot here at VectorAxis Technologies is the quarterly revenue.”
New essay!
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #writingcommunity
New essay!
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #writingcommunity
Five Reasons Why I, a Pink-Winged Romantasy Dragon, Am Perplexed by Corporate Life
On adjusting to a job description that doesn’t include love, fire, or flying
medium.com
December 28, 2025 at 8:03 PM
“Where I come from, intense human-dragon bonds are essential to the main plot. But, as far as I can tell, the only thing that seems essential to the main plot here at VectorAxis Technologies is the quarterly revenue.”
New essay!
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #writingcommunity
New essay!
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#humor #writingcommunity
On the list of problems a romantasy dragon faces in corporate life: no one lets him breathe fire.
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#medium #writingcommunity #dragon #humor
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#medium #writingcommunity #dragon #humor
Five Reasons Why I, a Pink-Winged Romantasy Dragon, Am Perplexed by Corporate Life
On adjusting to a job description that doesn’t include love, fire, or flying
medium.com
December 28, 2025 at 3:36 PM
On the list of problems a romantasy dragon faces in corporate life: no one lets him breathe fire.
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#medium #writingcommunity #dragon #humor
medium.com/@leni.quinn/...
#medium #writingcommunity #dragon #humor
Have yourself a very Eighties Christmas!
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #christmas #mediumwriters #writingcommunity
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #christmas #mediumwriters #writingcommunity
Have Yourself a Very Eighties Christmas!
Restraint is overrated
medium.com
December 24, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Have yourself a very Eighties Christmas!
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #christmas #mediumwriters #writingcommunity
medium.com/the-haven/ha...
#eighties #christmas #mediumwriters #writingcommunity