geoff
@kookaburrasakura.co.nz
he/him • ne mæg werig mod wyrde wiđstondan / ne se hreo hyge helpe gefremman
Hit the like for more local tiny victories, but here's one for free - I won the scramble for naming a machine at work, and thus it's called PROTOLITH, and it's such a cool word, every time I ssh into it my brain announces SSH INTO THE PROTOLITH and it sounds so fucking cool
December 2, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Hit the like for more local tiny victories, but here's one for free - I won the scramble for naming a machine at work, and thus it's called PROTOLITH, and it's such a cool word, every time I ssh into it my brain announces SSH INTO THE PROTOLITH and it sounds so fucking cool
The problem with having a cake in the house is that at all moments within you are haunted by the fact that you could be doing what you're doing right now while also enjoying a small piece of cake
December 2, 2025 at 1:04 PM
The problem with having a cake in the house is that at all moments within you are haunted by the fact that you could be doing what you're doing right now while also enjoying a small piece of cake
The therapist asked if I try to prioritize feeling good, and I explained that I prioritize not feeling uncomfortable which is more or less the same thing, and uh TIL they are not more or less the same thing.
December 2, 2025 at 12:13 AM
The therapist asked if I try to prioritize feeling good, and I explained that I prioritize not feeling uncomfortable which is more or less the same thing, and uh TIL they are not more or less the same thing.
EVERYBODY: whooooo level three professional puberty whips look at all this neat new shit we get
CLERIC: [offering a flask] here's to level six, huh
SORCERER: ah I dunno man, metamagic is pretty good
CLERIC: yeah okay give me my fucking flask back
CLERIC: [offering a flask] here's to level six, huh
SORCERER: ah I dunno man, metamagic is pretty good
CLERIC: yeah okay give me my fucking flask back
Level 3 is fun in DnD 5e because everyone but druid gets their specializations (druid got theirs at 2)
The barbarians in the party wander off for a week, come back changed and insane; the bard starts manifesting fae magick; the paladin finally graduates from school, the fighter now haunted by ghosts
The barbarians in the party wander off for a week, come back changed and insane; the bard starts manifesting fae magick; the paladin finally graduates from school, the fighter now haunted by ghosts
December 1, 2025 at 5:38 PM
EVERYBODY: whooooo level three professional puberty whips look at all this neat new shit we get
CLERIC: [offering a flask] here's to level six, huh
SORCERER: ah I dunno man, metamagic is pretty good
CLERIC: yeah okay give me my fucking flask back
CLERIC: [offering a flask] here's to level six, huh
SORCERER: ah I dunno man, metamagic is pretty good
CLERIC: yeah okay give me my fucking flask back
Reposted by geoff
Level 3 is fun in DnD 5e because everyone but druid gets their specializations (druid got theirs at 2)
The barbarians in the party wander off for a week, come back changed and insane; the bard starts manifesting fae magick; the paladin finally graduates from school, the fighter now haunted by ghosts
The barbarians in the party wander off for a week, come back changed and insane; the bard starts manifesting fae magick; the paladin finally graduates from school, the fighter now haunted by ghosts
December 1, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Level 3 is fun in DnD 5e because everyone but druid gets their specializations (druid got theirs at 2)
The barbarians in the party wander off for a week, come back changed and insane; the bard starts manifesting fae magick; the paladin finally graduates from school, the fighter now haunted by ghosts
The barbarians in the party wander off for a week, come back changed and insane; the bard starts manifesting fae magick; the paladin finally graduates from school, the fighter now haunted by ghosts
I love lazy loading in the browser what a cool idea lazy loading in the browseris [it takes sixty seconds to give me a fucking text-only vulnerability report] I'm declaring WAR on anybody who uses lazy loading in the browser
December 1, 2025 at 2:39 PM
I love lazy loading in the browser what a cool idea lazy loading in the browseris [it takes sixty seconds to give me a fucking text-only vulnerability report] I'm declaring WAR on anybody who uses lazy loading in the browser
Reposted by geoff
quote is broadly applicable to most of the characters #THEPROTOMEN
November 30, 2025 at 9:15 AM
quote is broadly applicable to most of the characters #THEPROTOMEN
ALL HAIL HOT BROWN
@breetz.zone as a #thankful Kentuckian, you’ll appreciate this: leftover turkey hot brown
November 30, 2025 at 12:35 AM
ALL HAIL HOT BROWN
The Nolan Batman movies but instead of the low growl he speaks in an extremely fast squeak because that's how echolocation works
November 29, 2025 at 8:40 PM
The Nolan Batman movies but instead of the low growl he speaks in an extremely fast squeak because that's how echolocation works
Enter the assistant pirate captain: takin' a snooze in the tent when suddenly it caught fire, he ran outside, started screaming for help, whereupon in short order arrived 1) a bag of gunpowder, 2) a flashbang, and 3) an exploding knife made of ice
exit the assistant to the pirate captain
exit the assistant to the pirate captain
November 29, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Enter the assistant pirate captain: takin' a snooze in the tent when suddenly it caught fire, he ran outside, started screaming for help, whereupon in short order arrived 1) a bag of gunpowder, 2) a flashbang, and 3) an exploding knife made of ice
exit the assistant to the pirate captain
exit the assistant to the pirate captain
The best strategy is almost always to target the paladin with the fireball because twenty feet of area around him is reliably factory-packed enemy flesh
the trouble being that Atanah can't really exempt people from the explosion
the trouble being that Atanah can't really exempt people from the explosion
November 29, 2025 at 3:22 PM
The best strategy is almost always to target the paladin with the fireball because twenty feet of area around him is reliably factory-packed enemy flesh
the trouble being that Atanah can't really exempt people from the explosion
the trouble being that Atanah can't really exempt people from the explosion
Apropos of surveys that check how many Catholics believe in e.g. the Eucharist, suddenly morbidly curious about how many Americans believe e.g. all men are created equal, that they are endowed with certain inalienable rights, and so on.
November 29, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Apropos of surveys that check how many Catholics believe in e.g. the Eucharist, suddenly morbidly curious about how many Americans believe e.g. all men are created equal, that they are endowed with certain inalienable rights, and so on.
My dishwasher let me know that it runs longer to be more energy efficient "like how driving a car slower saves gas" and, I feel like I'm misunderstanding something here, I understood best mileage to be at highway speed, with commuting speed stop-and-go being comparably much worse
November 29, 2025 at 1:26 PM
My dishwasher let me know that it runs longer to be more energy efficient "like how driving a car slower saves gas" and, I feel like I'm misunderstanding something here, I understood best mileage to be at highway speed, with commuting speed stop-and-go being comparably much worse
Reposted by geoff
To be explicit, we executed a German U-Boat commander who said he had to sink lifesaving gear / “inadvertently” kill survivors because it might give away his position, thereby potentially resulting in the loss of his submarine.
We executed multiple members of that crew.
We executed multiple members of that crew.
November 28, 2025 at 6:11 PM
To be explicit, we executed a German U-Boat commander who said he had to sink lifesaving gear / “inadvertently” kill survivors because it might give away his position, thereby potentially resulting in the loss of his submarine.
We executed multiple members of that crew.
We executed multiple members of that crew.
I, HOLDING A WINE BOTTLE: Can I top you off?
HE: Are you topping?
I: That's a rather personal question
PRO: I delivered the line with no pause, basically by spinal reflex, and with a completely straight face. Perfect execution.
CON: I was speaking to my father-in-law
HE: Are you topping?
I: That's a rather personal question
PRO: I delivered the line with no pause, basically by spinal reflex, and with a completely straight face. Perfect execution.
CON: I was speaking to my father-in-law
November 28, 2025 at 2:25 PM
I, HOLDING A WINE BOTTLE: Can I top you off?
HE: Are you topping?
I: That's a rather personal question
PRO: I delivered the line with no pause, basically by spinal reflex, and with a completely straight face. Perfect execution.
CON: I was speaking to my father-in-law
HE: Are you topping?
I: That's a rather personal question
PRO: I delivered the line with no pause, basically by spinal reflex, and with a completely straight face. Perfect execution.
CON: I was speaking to my father-in-law
Okay so you can use the Grinch in a Black Friday ad, but, like, you mustn't, it's fully at cross purposes with the text, it's like having Cruella speak for animal welfare.
November 27, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Okay so you can use the Grinch in a Black Friday ad, but, like, you mustn't, it's fully at cross purposes with the text, it's like having Cruella speak for animal welfare.
Reposted by geoff
1429. The reporter is back again!?
November 27, 2025 at 4:00 PM
1429. The reporter is back again!?
Shout out to my wife who alleged to me a few months ago that Bon Iver's last name is pronounced like a French verb, and I trusted her, and consequently today I caused much confusion and distress in her family by describing Taylor Swift's collab with what they heard as "Bonnie Vay"
November 27, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Shout out to my wife who alleged to me a few months ago that Bon Iver's last name is pronounced like a French verb, and I trusted her, and consequently today I caused much confusion and distress in her family by describing Taylor Swift's collab with what they heard as "Bonnie Vay"
Reposted by geoff
Please enjoy the finally fully launched website hachi.pics
8️⃣
hachi.pics
November 26, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Please enjoy the finally fully launched website hachi.pics
Reposted by geoff
No one has ever been more right than this woman
November 25, 2025 at 9:55 AM
No one has ever been more right than this woman
The bigram "woke pope" just inspires so many feelings in me all at once, like a grenade going off in the soup aisle. I think the nut of it is how clear it is that "woke" is just a word like "liberal" or "capitalist" or "the antichrist" that doesn't mean anything anymore except "fuckin'"
November 26, 2025 at 1:23 PM
The bigram "woke pope" just inspires so many feelings in me all at once, like a grenade going off in the soup aisle. I think the nut of it is how clear it is that "woke" is just a word like "liberal" or "capitalist" or "the antichrist" that doesn't mean anything anymore except "fuckin'"
It is fun to see recipes for "from scratch" green bean casserole, a recipe deliberately developed to be deployable from shelf stable prepared food
November 26, 2025 at 11:57 AM
It is fun to see recipes for "from scratch" green bean casserole, a recipe deliberately developed to be deployable from shelf stable prepared food
Redwall campaign running into a snag as we're discussing if Abigail (a sparrow) can carry a party member over a wall, and on one hand Abigail's carrying capacity per RAW is 15 times her strength in pounds and on the other hand Abigail is a sparrow
November 25, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Redwall campaign running into a snag as we're discussing if Abigail (a sparrow) can carry a party member over a wall, and on one hand Abigail's carrying capacity per RAW is 15 times her strength in pounds and on the other hand Abigail is a sparrow
What happened in the last few weeks where all of a sudden I am getting bombed with both WE WON'T LIE GEOFF fundraising texts nominally from Dems and ACT NOW TO GET YOUR FREE HILLSDALE COLLEGE VIDEO nominally from uh Hillsdale I guess
November 25, 2025 at 4:36 PM
What happened in the last few weeks where all of a sudden I am getting bombed with both WE WON'T LIE GEOFF fundraising texts nominally from Dems and ACT NOW TO GET YOUR FREE HILLSDALE COLLEGE VIDEO nominally from uh Hillsdale I guess
"X is a strong word" is one of those sentences that scans as a joke and works very well for greasing social interactions, just another tip I'm offering all my patrons at the "not blocked" level
November 25, 2025 at 2:32 PM
"X is a strong word" is one of those sentences that scans as a joke and works very well for greasing social interactions, just another tip I'm offering all my patrons at the "not blocked" level