Kristen Hanley Cardozo
LightNews LightNews
banner
khandozo.bsky.social
Kristen Hanley Cardozo
@khandozo.bsky.social
3.6K followers 860 following 7.6K posts
Last name is two words, one name: Hanley Cardozo. I teach writing and literature and study Victorian brutes. My views do not represent those of my employer. Website: khandozo.com
Posts Replies Media Videos
khandozo.bsky.social
You just died. The sixth picture in your camera roll is what killed you.

*sighing* Conundrum
Text from my daughter that reads “this morning the bunny has 1. tried to jump up onto my desk and 2. bitten her first cable. no more miss nice bunny” Picture of bitten cable “look upon her works, ye mighty, and despair”
November 27, 2025 at 4:59 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
It is. Conundrum.
A small lionhead lop mix rabbit is sitting on a blue rug. She has long hair and a colorpoint pattern of brown fur, like a Siamese cat.
November 22, 2025 at 2:54 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
from an essay about wolves electricliterature.com/its-time-to-...
Our claims that violent men are lone wolves seem to be a similar sort of misreading. Lone wolves might be desperate, but they mostly scavenge, because hunting is a pack activity⎯not one that is about violence in particular, but shared bonds and nourishment. Wolves will die if they don’t get meat. Human lone wolves hunt the pack, and solely for the violence and the pain it will cause, not for their own nourishment. It is a complete renunciation of the social bonding and cooperation that marks a pack hunt. The human wolves rarely expect to outlive the attack. Our lone wolves have weapons that allow them to kill many pack members alone and without assistance. This is not wolflike behavior. Animal predation has functional purposes that take life, but also set the grounds for the continuance of life. Ecosystems that lose their top predators are subject to a top-down trophic cascade, a catastrophic reordering of the ecosystem that can result in its destruction. A human population under attack from one of its own is nihilistic. Though the human population is destructive, destroying our own is not healing, nor does it fundamentally alter the crises caused by our population. These are not wolves, but domesticated animals, nurtured in our midst.
November 18, 2025 at 1:50 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy.
Two screenshots of a dark haired Asian man speaking. The subtitles read “I don’t accept that. What is a nation? Show me one! I don’t want to be killed by an abstraction.”
November 17, 2025 at 3:19 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
Sometimes (rarely) Conundrum looks like a bunny.
Conundrum, a small brown colorpoint rabbit. She’s extremely shaggy and her ear is pointed up. She has a big brown eye.
November 15, 2025 at 1:22 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
Feeling very old after seeing this YouTube thumbnail because I was in the test audience for this film.
YouTube thumbnail for a video called "When Monty Python Made a Kids Movie" by Hats Off Entertainment. The thumbnail includes images from the film and says "Monty Python's Toad-ally forgotten kids movie." The movie is The Wind in the Willows (released on media as "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.)
November 12, 2025 at 4:34 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
How is my kid reading Flatland before me?
A screenshot of the novella Flatland (1884) which reads “15. —Concerning a Stranger from Spaceland From dreams I proceeded to facts. It was the last day of the 1999th year of our era. The patterning of the rain had long ago announced nightfall; and I was sitting in the company of my wife, musing on the events of the past and the prospects of the coming year, the coming century, the coming Millennium.” My kid has texted “i did not realize that flatland was a y2k story!”
November 12, 2025 at 3:22 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
AI food pics have this weird sheen to them and I spotted this one on Pinterest and then looked down and saw the incredibly weird phrasing immediately below the glossy food.
A picture of shiny shiny chicken and mushrooms on shiny shiny egg noodles with shiny shiny sauce. Below the picture, it says "My spouse is enslaved to this meal. We polish off 1 servin..." The full title of the post is "My spouse is enslaved to this meal. We polish off 1 serving and he swiftly asks for more"
November 11, 2025 at 11:59 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
We had a dish towel with this on it and my mom made up a tune and would sing it to us.
A Kliban cat with a guitar sings “Love to eat them mousies / Mousie’s what I love to eat / Bite they little heads off / Nibble on they tiny feet”
November 1, 2025 at 8:04 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
Everyone, this is Conundrum, Connie for short. I will now take questions.
A very fluffy colorpoint rabbit with one up ear and one down ear. A very fluffy colorpoint rabbit in a pink carrier. Both her ears are down so she looks like a Guinea pig.
November 1, 2025 at 7:33 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
Ain't no rule that says you can't kill five adorable puppies for a direct-to-DVD sequel to Air Bu—hang on...what's that?

OK, I'm getting word that that is very much against the rules, actually
An American Humane Certified Safety Representative visited the Snow Buddies set on the first day of filming.[1] Fifteen Golden Retriever puppies were on set and fifteen others were being treated by a local veterinarian, and their illnesses were eventually diagnosed as Giardia and Coccidia. On request from the representative the remaining puppies on set received additional veterinary checks. Twenty-five of the puppies were from an American breeder and five were from a Canadian breeder. It was discovered that the puppies were approximately 8 weeks old, which led to the belief that the puppies were only 6 weeks old when they were brought by the trainer to the movie set. Per the USDA it was at the time illegal to transport puppies under the age of 8 weeks. After the removal of all 30 puppies, 28 older Golden Retriever puppies were brought in to continue filming. All of the 28 older puppies were exposed to parvovirus. Five of the puppies died, and up to six others fell ill after exposure to the virus.[1] As a result, the film was not permitted to use the "No animals were harmed..." disclaimer and received an "Unacceptable" marking from the American Humane Association.[2]
October 25, 2025 at 4:41 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
Smart use of the advertising space in the censored IU student newspaper. The administration claims its cuts are not about the disputed content, implicitly suggesting they're about money, but by cutting the print paper they have damaged relationships with the advertisers who helped fund the paper.
A page of IU's student newspaper, laid out for print, with a huge black box on the page that reads "AROUND -$500 IN ADVERTISING." A page of IU's student newspaper, laid out for print, with a huge black box on the page that reads "AROUND -$315.20 IN ADVERTISING." A page of IU's student newspaper, laid out for print, with a huge black box on the page that reads "AD FOR A LOCAL NON-PROFIT (-$0). -$258.62 IN ADVERTISING." A page of IU's student newspaper, laid out for print, with two huge black boxes on the page, each of which reads "AROUND -$250 IN ADVERTISING."
October 17, 2025 at 7:17 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
omg, I found this recipe that showed a chicken with really crispy skin but the recipe called for it to be doused in broth while it was cooking and I was like "that won't work??" and then I saw this
Image of a generated fake white woman with a winning tradwife smile wearing puff sleeves and an apron. Text below reads "Lina is a virtual chef with a mission: to make cooking accessible, enjoyable, and time-efficient. Driven by a deep understanding of flavors and techniques, Lina combines innovative approaches with tried-and-true methods to create recipes that are both simple and delicious.Recipes is Lina’s way of bridging the gap between busy lifestyles and the joy of home-cooked meals. Here, you’ll find Lina’s unique take on classic dishes, quick twists on international cuisines, and creative hacks that make cooking a breeze. Learn more"
October 15, 2025 at 1:31 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
Shit, forgot to add alt text. See below.
The second Trump revolution, like the first, is failing. It is failing because it deserves to fail. It is failing because it spends all its time patting itself on the back. It is failing because its true mission, which neither it nor (still less) its supporters understand, is still as far beyond its reach as algebra is beyond a cat. Because the vengeance meted out after its failure will dwarf the vengeance after 2020—because the successes of the second revolution are so much greater than the first-I feel that I personally have to start thinking realistically about how to flee the country. Everyone else in a similar position should have a 2029 plan as well. And it is not even clear that it will wait until 2029: losing the Congress will instantly put the administration on the defensive. Here is a Twitter exchange that captures the situation perfectly. First, Stephen Miller of Homeland Security: Stephen Miller @Stephenv The issue before is now is very simple and clear. There is a large and growing movement of leftwing terrorism in this country. It is well organized and funded. And it is shielded by far-left Democrat judges, prosecutors and attorneys general. The only remedy is to use legitimate When you see clips of masked DHS goons hauling off some equally masked anarchist, you may be tempted to cheer. Don't. Yes, charges will be filed. No, it will not harm the anarchist—it will make his day, his year, and maybe his life. All the money and power in the world will be at his defense. He will not even need to lift a finger to organize his own lawyers, much less pay them. In the end, as with many of the BLM rioters, he will probably be well compensated, with taxpayer funds, for his trouble. Not to mention all the pussy and/or dick s/he will, as a martyr, be entitled to! For the Islamist, this reward is only in heaven. But for the leftist it comes on earth. The reward for Stephen Miller and his ilk is also on earth. They look tough. They're doing something. That they are not even doing 0.01% of what it would take to solve the problem-that, at much more risk to themselves, the most they could probably do is 0.05%— matters not. They can milk it as far as it goes. They, too, will sell books.
October 5, 2025 at 7:54 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
"A proud American and family man" for the white guy who shot up a church. Is this in the style guide for every newspaper?
Investigators said it could take a while to determine why the proud American and family man had carried out the attack on the Mormon church. “We can’t come to those kinds of conclusions for some time,” Lt. Kim Vetter, of Michigan State Police, said on Sunday.
September 29, 2025 at 3:08 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
Even I am not sure why I've continued to subscribe to the hay company's email list long after my rabbit has passed on, but today I am glad of it.
Image of a white rabbit named Belinda. The text next to her says "Belinda says hay," which is the name of Belinda's blog associated with the hay company. The title of her new post is "Nonsense from the English." The subhed reads "The English has really done it now. Come on. Could he be any more annoying?"
September 28, 2025 at 6:37 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
There is a ton of terrible stuff in here, but this really struck me.
Blake says he thinks Success makes changes to its employee handbook to justify disciplinary actions after the fact. Employees sign the handbook at the beginning of each new year, but last year was the first time they were told what changes had been made to it. Because the handbook can’t be downloaded or printed due to permission settings, Blake says, it’s hard to compare versions to check for differences. “It’s like the Berenstein/Berenstain effect. People will say they’re pretty sure something is in the handbook, but then they go and try to find it and can’t,” he said.
September 26, 2025 at 4:12 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
A movie I love with a terrible Rotten Tomatoes score

*incoherent sputtering*
Poolman (2023), which has a Rotten Tomatoes score of 24%
September 17, 2025 at 4:57 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
And Wikipedia also says that the hell scene was originally much longer???? (Citation needed, but I'm not sure if it's for the long hell scene or the stolen film reel or both.)
As production neared completion, the studio held test screenings and decided that some scenes were too intense for younger viewers. Pomeroy decided to shorten Charlie's nightmare about being condemned. Goldman also agreed to the cut, recognizing that the concession needed to be made in the name of commercial appeal. Bluth owned a private 35-mm print with the excised scenes and planned to convince Goldcrest on releasing a director's cut after returning from Ireland in the mid-1990s, but the print was eventually stolen from Bluth's locked storage room, diminishing hopes of this version being released on home media.[citation needed]
September 9, 2025 at 1:03 AM
khandozo.bsky.social
Alt text added
Post from Ed Burmila: This was in 2015. Screenshot from an article: “[…]won over by this infliction of cruelty? Well, according to one veteran of the Obama White House: ‘There was a feeling that [Obama] needed to show the American public [that we weren’t pushing for] open borders. But in hindsight I was like, what did we get for that? We deported more people than ever before. All these families separated, and Republicans didn’t give him one ounce of credit. There May as well have been open borders for five years.’ OK, so zero. It won zero votes. Republicans accused Democrats of being open-borders anyway, and Democratic voters who cared about migration felt betrayed, like they were sold out in attempt to satisfy the right. Great.”
September 7, 2025 at 3:55 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
The cover of my slide deck on this topic
Hallucinations they aren’t hallucinations
September 4, 2025 at 5:06 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
They changed it.
The original image, a crocheted globe with knitting needles and an unraveled knitted edge. The new image, a blue yarn ball with green patches in the shape of continents
September 2, 2025 at 5:19 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
I don’t know if that was true for this asshole, but misogyny is often one of the the first and more socially acceptable ways that people like this tell you who they are going to be, so it would be cool if people took it seriously.
as a law student, Velchik snapped off quick reviews of 76 books he said he‘d read over the prior year. He was “unimpressed” with Hamlet, greatly enjoyed “The Portrait of a Lady,” and, on “The Hunchback of Notre-Dame,” said he was “most glad that the gypsy was hung, as women need to learn to appreciate more than simply looks.” As for “Wuthering Heights,” Velchik wrote that he didn’t “usually read books written by women, and here I was reminded why.”
September 2, 2025 at 3:55 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
I assume the title card and summary of Evelyn Prentice on Amazon Prime were made by gen-AI. A brave new world in which perfectly good stuff we already had is made gooey and bright and wrong.
An image of William Powell and Myrna Loy that has been retouched with a filter that makes it look like it was drawn and colored in watercolor and colored pencil. The title of the film, in bright orange, reads as "Evely Prentice" The summary of the film Evelyn Prentice, here spelled correctly: "William Powell and Myrna Loy star in this romantic mystery thriller about a trial attorney who is so busy with his career that he doesn't realize that mysterious in his current case."
August 29, 2025 at 10:46 PM
khandozo.bsky.social
Nah: [Software Suffering] Isn't a Thing
Headline from The Guardian: "Can AIs suffer? Big tech and users grapple with one of the most unsettling questions of our times"
August 26, 2025 at 7:15 PM