KalansPhantom 🍐🏴☠️🔞 🪢
@kalansphantomff.bsky.social
Pfp by Inkirtis. Banner by SailorsRuin A little insane, a little chaotic, the horny half of Hingeless and Horny. 3 Million words and counting of gay pirates on A03 https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalansPhantom/works
I give you the most ed coded christmas decoration ever.
November 27, 2025 at 10:46 PM
I give you the most ed coded christmas decoration ever.
Its called a sparkling pear 😅
November 27, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Its called a sparkling pear 😅
Happy Turkey Day. Gonna start this day on a bit of a high note. It's a good day for a reread of Winter Heat because there are two pieces of AMAZING artwork by @sweetpotato69.bsky.social now embedded in each chapter.
archiveofourown.org/works/579252...
archiveofourown.org/works/579252...
November 27, 2025 at 2:45 PM
Happy Turkey Day. Gonna start this day on a bit of a high note. It's a good day for a reread of Winter Heat because there are two pieces of AMAZING artwork by @sweetpotato69.bsky.social now embedded in each chapter.
archiveofourown.org/works/579252...
archiveofourown.org/works/579252...
Working on a fic to hurt people tonight as I work through feelings, so, well, you know. Fear the future.
November 27, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Working on a fic to hurt people tonight as I work through feelings, so, well, you know. Fear the future.
November 26, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Our pistol shrimp is cleaning house. Very vital work.
November 26, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Our pistol shrimp is cleaning house. Very vital work.
Already read it? Well Sharon just added more artwork and it's giving me life. XD Lucius using a jug of water to keep the boys in check.
November 25, 2025 at 1:46 AM
Already read it? Well Sharon just added more artwork and it's giving me life. XD Lucius using a jug of water to keep the boys in check.
And now, @tresdem.bsky.social and I present our @ofmdbigbang.bsky.social Rewrite The Stars.
Jaded country music star Edward Teach thanks his lucky stars he's a beta, especially after meeting the most infuriating omega in the world--Stede Bonnet. archiveofourown.org/works/745578...
Jaded country music star Edward Teach thanks his lucky stars he's a beta, especially after meeting the most infuriating omega in the world--Stede Bonnet. archiveofourown.org/works/745578...
November 24, 2025 at 2:06 AM
And now, @tresdem.bsky.social and I present our @ofmdbigbang.bsky.social Rewrite The Stars.
Jaded country music star Edward Teach thanks his lucky stars he's a beta, especially after meeting the most infuriating omega in the world--Stede Bonnet. archiveofourown.org/works/745578...
Jaded country music star Edward Teach thanks his lucky stars he's a beta, especially after meeting the most infuriating omega in the world--Stede Bonnet. archiveofourown.org/works/745578...
Every time I see the "Eventual Happy Ending" tag. XD
November 23, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Every time I see the "Eventual Happy Ending" tag. XD
Have we started a class action lawsuit against @smallestchurch.bsky.social for the lingering trauma hearing this song now causes all of us?
I was doing SO well on getting stuff done and now I'm just blankly staring into the void like a WWI shell shock victim.
I was doing SO well on getting stuff done and now I'm just blankly staring into the void like a WWI shell shock victim.
November 23, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Have we started a class action lawsuit against @smallestchurch.bsky.social for the lingering trauma hearing this song now causes all of us?
I was doing SO well on getting stuff done and now I'm just blankly staring into the void like a WWI shell shock victim.
I was doing SO well on getting stuff done and now I'm just blankly staring into the void like a WWI shell shock victim.
Tonights Cards Against Humanity is going...interestingly.
November 23, 2025 at 1:05 AM
Tonights Cards Against Humanity is going...interestingly.
Damn it, Puck, that's Christ's orange! Where's Nana when you need her?
November 22, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Damn it, Puck, that's Christ's orange! Where's Nana when you need her?
Wife: We need to replace the lighted deer for Christmas, can you find another.
Me: Okay, listen, I need you to be really open minded about what a deer is....
Me: Okay, listen, I need you to be really open minded about what a deer is....
November 22, 2025 at 8:33 PM
Wife: We need to replace the lighted deer for Christmas, can you find another.
Me: Okay, listen, I need you to be really open minded about what a deer is....
Me: Okay, listen, I need you to be really open minded about what a deer is....
Rewrite The Stars goes live TOMORROW. Another sneaky peek and a formal apology to @tresdem.bsky.social for the amount of beard pictures she's had to do of Ed with full giant beard. XD
November 22, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Rewrite The Stars goes live TOMORROW. Another sneaky peek and a formal apology to @tresdem.bsky.social for the amount of beard pictures she's had to do of Ed with full giant beard. XD
Do your pets have a middle name for when they're misbehaving? If so share them!
Puck is so awful he has two.
Puck Montgomery Bixby
Also:
Piper Anne
Remington Alexander
Sparrow Matthew
Puck is so awful he has two.
Puck Montgomery Bixby
Also:
Piper Anne
Remington Alexander
Sparrow Matthew
November 22, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Do your pets have a middle name for when they're misbehaving? If so share them!
Puck is so awful he has two.
Puck Montgomery Bixby
Also:
Piper Anne
Remington Alexander
Sparrow Matthew
Puck is so awful he has two.
Puck Montgomery Bixby
Also:
Piper Anne
Remington Alexander
Sparrow Matthew
STOP. this is a selfie checkpoint. you must repost with a cute selfie to proceed.
November 22, 2025 at 3:37 AM
STOP. this is a selfie checkpoint. you must repost with a cute selfie to proceed.
STOP. this is a selfie checkpoint. you must repost with a cute selfie to proceed.
November 22, 2025 at 3:30 AM
STOP. this is a selfie checkpoint. you must repost with a cute selfie to proceed.
Friend is getting ready for his first drag event and I am having complicated pants feelings right now about it as a lesbian.
Brain blue screened.
Brain blue screened.
November 22, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Friend is getting ready for his first drag event and I am having complicated pants feelings right now about it as a lesbian.
Brain blue screened.
Brain blue screened.
Two more days. Hope ya'll are ready for this pair, because our little omega isn't going to leave a newly presented alpha on his own, is he? Even if said alpha annoys the HELL out of him. You know, just normal coworker things.
November 21, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Two more days. Hope ya'll are ready for this pair, because our little omega isn't going to leave a newly presented alpha on his own, is he? Even if said alpha annoys the HELL out of him. You know, just normal coworker things.
Why do I have birds?
November 21, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Why do I have birds?
#WIPWednesday a sneak peek into the next chapter of Tarte.
November 20, 2025 at 1:46 AM
#WIPWednesday a sneak peek into the next chapter of Tarte.
There's a rule in my office. Do Not Leave Parrots Out. Not because they'll hurt themselves, but because they are like owning chainsaws with wings. My wife learned this. RIP warranty paperwork, it took less than five minutes for it to be rendered into nesting material.
November 19, 2025 at 1:12 PM
There's a rule in my office. Do Not Leave Parrots Out. Not because they'll hurt themselves, but because they are like owning chainsaws with wings. My wife learned this. RIP warranty paperwork, it took less than five minutes for it to be rendered into nesting material.
##taketwotuesday My first Big Bang! In which Stede sluttily practices kissing on Doug. archiveofourown.org/works/602701...
November 18, 2025 at 8:31 PM
##taketwotuesday My first Big Bang! In which Stede sluttily practices kissing on Doug. archiveofourown.org/works/602701...
Sunday, it's happening SUNDAY. As such, Acts won't be popping up because you guys are gonna be feasting on enemies to lovers insanity of two perfect idiots.
November 18, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Sunday, it's happening SUNDAY. As such, Acts won't be popping up because you guys are gonna be feasting on enemies to lovers insanity of two perfect idiots.