Jonathan Zoia
@jzoia.bsky.social
📍Chicago
👬Adam
🐶 Mari
Gay, feminist, veg
Love: Languages, Travel, Reading, my plants
Vices: Real Housewives and Diet Coke
👬Adam
🐶 Mari
Gay, feminist, veg
Love: Languages, Travel, Reading, my plants
Vices: Real Housewives and Diet Coke
Pinned
Jonathan Zoia
@jzoia.bsky.social
· Nov 16
Reintroduction thread:
Name: Jonathan
Pronouns: He/Him
Location: Rogers Park, Chicago
Interests: Books, travel, gardening and houseplants, terrible reality tv, Star Trek
Vocation: Loving Dogs
Name: Jonathan
Pronouns: He/Him
Location: Rogers Park, Chicago
Interests: Books, travel, gardening and houseplants, terrible reality tv, Star Trek
Vocation: Loving Dogs
Now that he has a big old crush on Zohran, we have two things we love in common (Diet Coke) and I am beginning to doubt myself
November 21, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Now that he has a big old crush on Zohran, we have two things we love in common (Diet Coke) and I am beginning to doubt myself
Two things I learned recently (late as always) that might help out some of you lovelies:
1) use cleanser not soap especially if you are sensitive/dry/itchy
2) an ice pack on your forehead at bedtime will knock you the fuck out and it is delightful
Please tell me other stuff, I never know stuff
1) use cleanser not soap especially if you are sensitive/dry/itchy
2) an ice pack on your forehead at bedtime will knock you the fuck out and it is delightful
Please tell me other stuff, I never know stuff
November 21, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Two things I learned recently (late as always) that might help out some of you lovelies:
1) use cleanser not soap especially if you are sensitive/dry/itchy
2) an ice pack on your forehead at bedtime will knock you the fuck out and it is delightful
Please tell me other stuff, I never know stuff
1) use cleanser not soap especially if you are sensitive/dry/itchy
2) an ice pack on your forehead at bedtime will knock you the fuck out and it is delightful
Please tell me other stuff, I never know stuff
I walk miles and miles, at a gay pace, every day, so I thought it would be cute to wear a weighted vest and maximize the benefits of my walks. I took out all the extra weight, so it’s only 11 pounds, and yet, this thing is kicking my ass 😩
November 20, 2025 at 6:30 PM
I walk miles and miles, at a gay pace, every day, so I thought it would be cute to wear a weighted vest and maximize the benefits of my walks. I took out all the extra weight, so it’s only 11 pounds, and yet, this thing is kicking my ass 😩
I’ve been successful in making myself meditate for 80 days in a row. It has been great
My favorite are loving kindness meditations. I love picking a friend and wishing happiness and peace for them
Today we had to do a loving kindness meditation for ourselves. That was really, really hard
My favorite are loving kindness meditations. I love picking a friend and wishing happiness and peace for them
Today we had to do a loving kindness meditation for ourselves. That was really, really hard
November 19, 2025 at 11:33 PM
I’ve been successful in making myself meditate for 80 days in a row. It has been great
My favorite are loving kindness meditations. I love picking a friend and wishing happiness and peace for them
Today we had to do a loving kindness meditation for ourselves. That was really, really hard
My favorite are loving kindness meditations. I love picking a friend and wishing happiness and peace for them
Today we had to do a loving kindness meditation for ourselves. That was really, really hard
Man at the sandwich shop “you seem like someone who enjoys a pickle, do you want mine!?”
Me: 😳
Him: “I know it’s shocking but I just don’t like them”
Me: “oh! Sure!”
Him: Hands me his pickle
😂
Me: 😳
Him: “I know it’s shocking but I just don’t like them”
Me: “oh! Sure!”
Him: Hands me his pickle
😂
November 19, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Man at the sandwich shop “you seem like someone who enjoys a pickle, do you want mine!?”
Me: 😳
Him: “I know it’s shocking but I just don’t like them”
Me: “oh! Sure!”
Him: Hands me his pickle
😂
Me: 😳
Him: “I know it’s shocking but I just don’t like them”
Me: “oh! Sure!”
Him: Hands me his pickle
😂
We just got our property tax bill, which sent out almost 3 months late, and is due in less than a month. The increase over last year is 30%
I’m annoyed for myself but genuinely worried about friends and neighbors who already are struggling to stay in their homes and what this will do to rents
I’m annoyed for myself but genuinely worried about friends and neighbors who already are struggling to stay in their homes and what this will do to rents
November 17, 2025 at 10:09 PM
We just got our property tax bill, which sent out almost 3 months late, and is due in less than a month. The increase over last year is 30%
I’m annoyed for myself but genuinely worried about friends and neighbors who already are struggling to stay in their homes and what this will do to rents
I’m annoyed for myself but genuinely worried about friends and neighbors who already are struggling to stay in their homes and what this will do to rents
Listening to Ira Glass interview Heather Gay about her secret Keurig brought back so many memories
My family was liberal for our faith (Apostolic Pentecostal). My parents wore wedding rings, ate at restaurants where alcohol was served, wore short sleeves and got a TV when I was 16. Racy stuff
My family was liberal for our faith (Apostolic Pentecostal). My parents wore wedding rings, ate at restaurants where alcohol was served, wore short sleeves and got a TV when I was 16. Racy stuff
November 17, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Listening to Ira Glass interview Heather Gay about her secret Keurig brought back so many memories
My family was liberal for our faith (Apostolic Pentecostal). My parents wore wedding rings, ate at restaurants where alcohol was served, wore short sleeves and got a TV when I was 16. Racy stuff
My family was liberal for our faith (Apostolic Pentecostal). My parents wore wedding rings, ate at restaurants where alcohol was served, wore short sleeves and got a TV when I was 16. Racy stuff
Just had one of those moments where you meet someone who just gets you and your whole schtick.
It started with me asking if he was okay and ended with us doing a 45 minute midwestern goodbye
I needed that
It started with me asking if he was okay and ended with us doing a 45 minute midwestern goodbye
I needed that
November 16, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Just had one of those moments where you meet someone who just gets you and your whole schtick.
It started with me asking if he was okay and ended with us doing a 45 minute midwestern goodbye
I needed that
It started with me asking if he was okay and ended with us doing a 45 minute midwestern goodbye
I needed that
A family friend offered my Grandma her late mother’s hearing aids
Husband: “do you think her Mom can whisper thoughts to your Grandma?”
I burst out laughing
Husband: “glad you liked that”
Me: “Actually, I had the same thought”
Husband: “guess I’ve been married to a weirdo for too long”
Husband: “do you think her Mom can whisper thoughts to your Grandma?”
I burst out laughing
Husband: “glad you liked that”
Me: “Actually, I had the same thought”
Husband: “guess I’ve been married to a weirdo for too long”
November 15, 2025 at 3:31 PM
A family friend offered my Grandma her late mother’s hearing aids
Husband: “do you think her Mom can whisper thoughts to your Grandma?”
I burst out laughing
Husband: “glad you liked that”
Me: “Actually, I had the same thought”
Husband: “guess I’ve been married to a weirdo for too long”
Husband: “do you think her Mom can whisper thoughts to your Grandma?”
I burst out laughing
Husband: “glad you liked that”
Me: “Actually, I had the same thought”
Husband: “guess I’ve been married to a weirdo for too long”
I slept weirdly on my arm and couldn’t move it all morning but the good news is I slipped on the ice and fell right on same arm. Hurt like hell but now it’s back to normal. Must have knocked it into place 😂
November 10, 2025 at 11:27 PM
I slept weirdly on my arm and couldn’t move it all morning but the good news is I slipped on the ice and fell right on same arm. Hurt like hell but now it’s back to normal. Must have knocked it into place 😂
Even the Supreme Court didn’t want to have to look at Kim Davis. “Let those 🚬 get married, we can’t bear it”
November 10, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Even the Supreme Court didn’t want to have to look at Kim Davis. “Let those 🚬 get married, we can’t bear it”
So glad I have been floating our entire household on my savings for 40 days while my husband isn’t getting paid for them to collapse like a house of cards
November 10, 2025 at 2:41 AM
So glad I have been floating our entire household on my savings for 40 days while my husband isn’t getting paid for them to collapse like a house of cards
Early birthday gifts from two different people. I am sensing a plant daddy theme
November 9, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Early birthday gifts from two different people. I am sensing a plant daddy theme
Just in case you didn’t know, because someone in our house didn’t, you shouldn’t mop by standing in the middle of the room and mopping all around yourself 😆
November 6, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Just in case you didn’t know, because someone in our house didn’t, you shouldn’t mop by standing in the middle of the room and mopping all around yourself 😆
I know the surroundings are nothing to write home about but I just think this Ginkgo is the most gorgeous
November 6, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I know the surroundings are nothing to write home about but I just think this Ginkgo is the most gorgeous
Husband: “you have some sort of jacket fetish. You have 11 coats in the hall closet”
Me: “I don’t. This one isn’t mine”
Husband stares
I run away
Me: “I don’t. This one isn’t mine”
Husband stares
I run away
November 5, 2025 at 7:28 PM
Husband: “you have some sort of jacket fetish. You have 11 coats in the hall closet”
Me: “I don’t. This one isn’t mine”
Husband stares
I run away
Me: “I don’t. This one isn’t mine”
Husband stares
I run away
Our normal vet had to reschedule so they sent us to their location in one of the fanciest suburbs. It was quite the experience.
Our dog was a celebrity, they were thrilled to see a pit bull. Every member of their staff stopped to meet her and talked about her fat butt and fat head. It was so cute
Our dog was a celebrity, they were thrilled to see a pit bull. Every member of their staff stopped to meet her and talked about her fat butt and fat head. It was so cute
October 29, 2025 at 2:16 PM
Our normal vet had to reschedule so they sent us to their location in one of the fanciest suburbs. It was quite the experience.
Our dog was a celebrity, they were thrilled to see a pit bull. Every member of their staff stopped to meet her and talked about her fat butt and fat head. It was so cute
Our dog was a celebrity, they were thrilled to see a pit bull. Every member of their staff stopped to meet her and talked about her fat butt and fat head. It was so cute
Just got Covid and flu shots, so now I turn into Spider-Man? I can’t remember
But word to the wise, I have found getting them at Walgreens deeply unpleasant so I got them at Jewel and it was so nice, efficient and they give me a 10% off groceries coupon for each shot
But word to the wise, I have found getting them at Walgreens deeply unpleasant so I got them at Jewel and it was so nice, efficient and they give me a 10% off groceries coupon for each shot
October 27, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Just got Covid and flu shots, so now I turn into Spider-Man? I can’t remember
But word to the wise, I have found getting them at Walgreens deeply unpleasant so I got them at Jewel and it was so nice, efficient and they give me a 10% off groceries coupon for each shot
But word to the wise, I have found getting them at Walgreens deeply unpleasant so I got them at Jewel and it was so nice, efficient and they give me a 10% off groceries coupon for each shot
I guess we are taking a last minute trip to Michigan. My nephew was convinced Uncle Jonathan was coming on a trip to a lake house.
I had never heard about the trip and no one told him I was coming, but he was heartbroken and he is my favorite so off I go.
I had never heard about the trip and no one told him I was coming, but he was heartbroken and he is my favorite so off I go.
October 24, 2025 at 10:54 PM
I guess we are taking a last minute trip to Michigan. My nephew was convinced Uncle Jonathan was coming on a trip to a lake house.
I had never heard about the trip and no one told him I was coming, but he was heartbroken and he is my favorite so off I go.
I had never heard about the trip and no one told him I was coming, but he was heartbroken and he is my favorite so off I go.
I hurt my neck (in my sleep, because I am so cool) and I was complaining to my boss and she said:
“Take a muscle relaxer?”
“I don’t have any”
“Maybe a Xanax?”
“None of that either”
“Oh I always keep Xanax for an emergency. Although Valium is the best”
What kind of doctor does she have!?
“Take a muscle relaxer?”
“I don’t have any”
“Maybe a Xanax?”
“None of that either”
“Oh I always keep Xanax for an emergency. Although Valium is the best”
What kind of doctor does she have!?
October 22, 2025 at 9:41 PM
I hurt my neck (in my sleep, because I am so cool) and I was complaining to my boss and she said:
“Take a muscle relaxer?”
“I don’t have any”
“Maybe a Xanax?”
“None of that either”
“Oh I always keep Xanax for an emergency. Although Valium is the best”
What kind of doctor does she have!?
“Take a muscle relaxer?”
“I don’t have any”
“Maybe a Xanax?”
“None of that either”
“Oh I always keep Xanax for an emergency. Although Valium is the best”
What kind of doctor does she have!?
When I was walking into the house, I saw the man working on our pantry talking to my neighbor at their cars
He came inside super giddy but was unsure if she liked him. I had seen her body language and assured him she did
He came inside super giddy but was unsure if she liked him. I had seen her body language and assured him she did
October 15, 2025 at 7:23 PM
When I was walking into the house, I saw the man working on our pantry talking to my neighbor at their cars
He came inside super giddy but was unsure if she liked him. I had seen her body language and assured him she did
He came inside super giddy but was unsure if she liked him. I had seen her body language and assured him she did
“You should have checked her when she was 8 months old cuz now she is an 17 year old demon”
-randomly overhead lady walking by on her phone
-randomly overhead lady walking by on her phone
October 13, 2025 at 8:26 PM
“You should have checked her when she was 8 months old cuz now she is an 17 year old demon”
-randomly overhead lady walking by on her phone
-randomly overhead lady walking by on her phone
“What’s on your eggs?”
Husband “green onions”
“That does not look like green onions at all”
Husband “that’s because it’s blue cheese”
Husband “green onions”
“That does not look like green onions at all”
Husband “that’s because it’s blue cheese”
October 11, 2025 at 5:16 PM
“What’s on your eggs?”
Husband “green onions”
“That does not look like green onions at all”
Husband “that’s because it’s blue cheese”
Husband “green onions”
“That does not look like green onions at all”
Husband “that’s because it’s blue cheese”
Sometimes I wonder what worthwhile things my parents taught me, but just now as I was walking down the stairs with a pair of scissors, I realized that I was holding them correctly without thinking about it 🤣
Good job, Mom and Dad!
Good job, Mom and Dad!
October 10, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Sometimes I wonder what worthwhile things my parents taught me, but just now as I was walking down the stairs with a pair of scissors, I realized that I was holding them correctly without thinking about it 🤣
Good job, Mom and Dad!
Good job, Mom and Dad!
Just watched activists on bikes come speeding up, half of them whisk away the champurrado man and the other half stayed with his cart just as unmarked van of goons pulled up
October 9, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Just watched activists on bikes come speeding up, half of them whisk away the champurrado man and the other half stayed with his cart just as unmarked van of goons pulled up