Jupin's Gems
@jupinsgems.bsky.social
Fan account for @whmpodcast.bsky.social's Andrew @jupinwhm.bsky.social. Quotes delivered to you as soon as sandwichly possible. Run by @rchris.bsky.social. Also: SajdaksSayings and Szyszkas-Screeds
"Sherilyn Fenn used to be in things I enjoyed watching, and now she’s just looking like my friend’s mom in these movies."
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
February 17, 2026 at 2:06 PM
"Sherilyn Fenn used to be in things I enjoyed watching, and now she’s just looking like my friend’s mom in these movies."
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
"I’m fully trained in gun-kata, but I couldn’t go anymore after I killed the instructor. I was that good." (Eric)
"Wow, dude, that’s crazy - I remember the older boy on the bus told me that story one time."
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
"Wow, dude, that’s crazy - I remember the older boy on the bus told me that story one time."
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
February 17, 2026 at 12:25 AM
"I’m fully trained in gun-kata, but I couldn’t go anymore after I killed the instructor. I was that good." (Eric)
"Wow, dude, that’s crazy - I remember the older boy on the bus told me that story one time."
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
"Wow, dude, that’s crazy - I remember the older boy on the bus told me that story one time."
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
"When I was 11 or 12, I tried karate and took some lessons. I was there for like…4 months?" (Chris)
"Did they ask you not to come back?"
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
"Did they ask you not to come back?"
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
February 16, 2026 at 3:11 PM
"When I was 11 or 12, I tried karate and took some lessons. I was there for like…4 months?" (Chris)
"Did they ask you not to come back?"
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
"Did they ask you not to come back?"
-Once in a Lifetime: Fatal Defense
"His wife in this movie is the mom from Hook. This woman is in incredible shape." (Steve)
"She does have a bowl cut, to be fair. I understand it’s 1994, but that really sucks."
-Disclosure
"She does have a bowl cut, to be fair. I understand it’s 1994, but that really sucks."
-Disclosure
February 13, 2026 at 5:32 PM
"His wife in this movie is the mom from Hook. This woman is in incredible shape." (Steve)
"She does have a bowl cut, to be fair. I understand it’s 1994, but that really sucks."
-Disclosure
"She does have a bowl cut, to be fair. I understand it’s 1994, but that really sucks."
-Disclosure
"If I could just be nude and just have a bathrobe over me at all times, that’s living, man. It’s the dream."
-Stroker Ace
-Stroker Ace
February 12, 2026 at 3:03 PM
"If I could just be nude and just have a bathrobe over me at all times, that’s living, man. It’s the dream."
-Stroker Ace
-Stroker Ace
"Maybe these mall security guards are closer to cops than I realized, because how on earth are you still employed after you fucking punch a woman in the stomach?!"
"It’s the thin blue line, man." (Steve)
-Paul Blart: Mall Cop
"It’s the thin blue line, man." (Steve)
-Paul Blart: Mall Cop
February 11, 2026 at 7:00 PM
"Maybe these mall security guards are closer to cops than I realized, because how on earth are you still employed after you fucking punch a woman in the stomach?!"
"It’s the thin blue line, man." (Steve)
-Paul Blart: Mall Cop
"It’s the thin blue line, man." (Steve)
-Paul Blart: Mall Cop
"You also get dumb as a bucket of rocks Hitler. Hitler takes the diary and signs his name right next to a map page, and I’m like, ‘You stupid Fuhrer!’ He just signs the autograph, ‘To Grown Adult Boy - Love, Addy.’"
-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
February 11, 2026 at 3:30 AM
"You also get dumb as a bucket of rocks Hitler. Hitler takes the diary and signs his name right next to a map page, and I’m like, ‘You stupid Fuhrer!’ He just signs the autograph, ‘To Grown Adult Boy - Love, Addy.’"
-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
-Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
"Do I have to learn the banjo?" (Chris)
"Your big bear claws aren’t getting around a banjo."
-Stroker Ace
"Your big bear claws aren’t getting around a banjo."
-Stroker Ace
February 10, 2026 at 2:13 PM
"Do I have to learn the banjo?" (Chris)
"Your big bear claws aren’t getting around a banjo."
-Stroker Ace
"Your big bear claws aren’t getting around a banjo."
-Stroker Ace
"I guess it’s like my grandfather gave me fucking baldness, and this poor bastard got lycanthropy."
"It’s the opposite, yeah." (Eric)
-Teen Wolf (live)
"It’s the opposite, yeah." (Eric)
-Teen Wolf (live)
February 9, 2026 at 9:49 PM
"I guess it’s like my grandfather gave me fucking baldness, and this poor bastard got lycanthropy."
"It’s the opposite, yeah." (Eric)
-Teen Wolf (live)
"It’s the opposite, yeah." (Eric)
-Teen Wolf (live)
"Is it legal to teach karate in Utah?"
-China O'Brien
-China O'Brien
February 9, 2026 at 2:36 PM
"Is it legal to teach karate in Utah?"
-China O'Brien
-China O'Brien
"We’ll get Domino’s, but we won’t say, ‘We feel like pizza tonight.’ We say, ‘We feel like trash pizza,’ which means ordering Domino’s."
-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
February 6, 2026 at 2:14 PM
"We’ll get Domino’s, but we won’t say, ‘We feel like pizza tonight.’ We say, ‘We feel like trash pizza,’ which means ordering Domino’s."
-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)
"One credit sticks out like a sore thumb: Executive Music Consultant Sean ‘P. Diddy’ Combs. What was his job on this movie?"
"He was handed a CD and said, ‘Yeah, this is fine.’" (Eric)
-Bad Boys II
"He was handed a CD and said, ‘Yeah, this is fine.’" (Eric)
-Bad Boys II
February 5, 2026 at 11:29 PM
"One credit sticks out like a sore thumb: Executive Music Consultant Sean ‘P. Diddy’ Combs. What was his job on this movie?"
"He was handed a CD and said, ‘Yeah, this is fine.’" (Eric)
-Bad Boys II
"He was handed a CD and said, ‘Yeah, this is fine.’" (Eric)
-Bad Boys II
"My favorite part of this is that Kevin Costner has supposedly been in jail for many years - he has on this wig and fake beard like he’s been stuck in Jumanji! It’s fucking nuts!"
-Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
-Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
February 5, 2026 at 2:28 PM
"My favorite part of this is that Kevin Costner has supposedly been in jail for many years - he has on this wig and fake beard like he’s been stuck in Jumanji! It’s fucking nuts!"
-Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
-Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
"Lithgow and Stallone are finally going mano a mano, which is what you really wanted to see in an action movie." (Steve)
"Yeah, I really wanted to see Sylvester Stallone beat the shit out of an old theater actor."
-Cliffhanger (live)
"Yeah, I really wanted to see Sylvester Stallone beat the shit out of an old theater actor."
-Cliffhanger (live)
February 4, 2026 at 6:21 PM
"Lithgow and Stallone are finally going mano a mano, which is what you really wanted to see in an action movie." (Steve)
"Yeah, I really wanted to see Sylvester Stallone beat the shit out of an old theater actor."
-Cliffhanger (live)
"Yeah, I really wanted to see Sylvester Stallone beat the shit out of an old theater actor."
-Cliffhanger (live)
"How many times do you think Alfred had to listen to fucking in Wayne Manor?"
"It was a big castle." (Steve)
"‘Oh, good, better turn the television off - the real show’s begun!’"
-Cobra (live)
"It was a big castle." (Steve)
"‘Oh, good, better turn the television off - the real show’s begun!’"
-Cobra (live)
an older man is sitting at a table in a restaurant holding a menu and looking at it .
ALT: an older man is sitting at a table in a restaurant holding a menu and looking at it .
media.tenor.com
February 4, 2026 at 2:23 PM
"How many times do you think Alfred had to listen to fucking in Wayne Manor?"
"It was a big castle." (Steve)
"‘Oh, good, better turn the television off - the real show’s begun!’"
-Cobra (live)
"It was a big castle." (Steve)
"‘Oh, good, better turn the television off - the real show’s begun!’"
-Cobra (live)
"I would more believe Mark Wahlberg playing a character explaining brain surgery than I would wine. ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, wine?! Bro, that’s just gay beer!’"
-Uncharted
-Uncharted
February 3, 2026 at 2:41 PM
"I would more believe Mark Wahlberg playing a character explaining brain surgery than I would wine. ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, wine?! Bro, that’s just gay beer!’"
-Uncharted
-Uncharted
"Can I show you Dexter Fletcher’s ‘I’m a director now and certainly wasn’t in Doom’ IMDB shot?" (Steve)
"He looks like Tilda Swinton stuck in a haunted painting."
-Doom
"He looks like Tilda Swinton stuck in a haunted painting."
-Doom
February 2, 2026 at 7:00 PM
"Can I show you Dexter Fletcher’s ‘I’m a director now and certainly wasn’t in Doom’ IMDB shot?" (Steve)
"He looks like Tilda Swinton stuck in a haunted painting."
-Doom
"He looks like Tilda Swinton stuck in a haunted painting."
-Doom
"That’s what we do with inventions as human beings - it’s like, ‘Can I shoot it? Can I fuck it? Or can I eat it?’"
-Over the Top (live)
-Over the Top (live)
February 2, 2026 at 2:41 PM
"That’s what we do with inventions as human beings - it’s like, ‘Can I shoot it? Can I fuck it? Or can I eat it?’"
-Over the Top (live)
-Over the Top (live)
"Professional arm wrestlers probably don’t go by fiscal years, FYI."
-Over the Top (live)
-Over the Top (live)
January 30, 2026 at 4:19 PM
"Professional arm wrestlers probably don’t go by fiscal years, FYI."
-Over the Top (live)
-Over the Top (live)
"He’s wearing a denim shirt and a tie, and just why bother?" (Steve)
"We call that a ‘truck-cito.’"
-Over the Top (live)
"We call that a ‘truck-cito.’"
-Over the Top (live)
January 29, 2026 at 7:37 PM
"He’s wearing a denim shirt and a tie, and just why bother?" (Steve)
"We call that a ‘truck-cito.’"
-Over the Top (live)
"We call that a ‘truck-cito.’"
-Over the Top (live)
"I think ‘arms wrestling’ is on Craigslist." (Eric)
"‘Looking for male to fight other male. Arms only.’"
-Over the Top (live)
"‘Looking for male to fight other male. Arms only.’"
-Over the Top (live)
January 29, 2026 at 2:04 PM
"I think ‘arms wrestling’ is on Craigslist." (Eric)
"‘Looking for male to fight other male. Arms only.’"
-Over the Top (live)
"‘Looking for male to fight other male. Arms only.’"
-Over the Top (live)
"Andrew, what would you do if first contact was reached on Earth, and it was a bunch of cartoons that came out?" (Eric)
"Well, like with any possible alien invasion, the first step is to shit my pants."
-Space Jam
"Well, like with any possible alien invasion, the first step is to shit my pants."
-Space Jam
January 28, 2026 at 7:53 PM
"Andrew, what would you do if first contact was reached on Earth, and it was a bunch of cartoons that came out?" (Eric)
"Well, like with any possible alien invasion, the first step is to shit my pants."
-Space Jam
"Well, like with any possible alien invasion, the first step is to shit my pants."
-Space Jam
"My father actually forbade my brother and I from mowing the lawn because we did such a terrible job. Secret update, Pop: I was intentionally doing it poorly."
"That’s my strategy for everything." (Steve)
-The Lawnmower Man
"That’s my strategy for everything." (Steve)
-The Lawnmower Man
January 28, 2026 at 1:51 PM
"My father actually forbade my brother and I from mowing the lawn because we did such a terrible job. Secret update, Pop: I was intentionally doing it poorly."
"That’s my strategy for everything." (Steve)
-The Lawnmower Man
"That’s my strategy for everything." (Steve)
-The Lawnmower Man
"'Hey, Mav, I’ve got a mint-condition Meg Ryan back home - I’d like to get back.'"
-Top Gun
-Top Gun
January 27, 2026 at 7:53 PM
"'Hey, Mav, I’ve got a mint-condition Meg Ryan back home - I’d like to get back.'"
-Top Gun
-Top Gun
"This is when we get Peter Parker as emo Parker, with the hair dyed black. He starts acting like a fucking asshole." (Eric)
"It’s like Taking Back Spider-Man."
-Spider-Man 3
"It’s like Taking Back Spider-Man."
-Spider-Man 3
January 27, 2026 at 2:54 PM
"This is when we get Peter Parker as emo Parker, with the hair dyed black. He starts acting like a fucking asshole." (Eric)
"It’s like Taking Back Spider-Man."
-Spider-Man 3
"It’s like Taking Back Spider-Man."
-Spider-Man 3