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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 20h

"In the case of Arnold Schwarzennegger, wearing a normal person-sized cowboy hat is one of the funniest things you’ll ever see."

"You have to go to a Mexican restaurant where they have a big cowboy hat on a bear, and take that." (Steve)

-Sabotage

Arnold Schwarzenegger wearing some kind of cowboy costume in the early '80s, with two guns and a hat that indeed looks comically small for his head

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 1d

"He looks like the guy in a Cialis commercial who’s about to start a rockabilly band."

-Sabotage

Sajdak's Sayings @sajdakssayings.bsky.social · 1d

"We haven't talked about Arnold's stupid haircut yet. He looks like Macklemore's grandfather. No one over the age of 40 should have this haircut. He kind of looks like J. Edgar Hoover if you gave him gamma radiation."

-Sabotage

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Sabotage, with a weird high and tight haircut, and smoking a cigar

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 1d

"Why is she related, at all?" (Eric)

"To who, Christopher Plummer? He’s her father."

"Why? (Eric)

"Well, because, Eric, when a man and a woman love each other…"

-Dracula 2000

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 2d

"They always made David Boreanaz look like Gaston in Angel flashbacks."

-Dracula 2000

David Boreanaz as Angel, wearing some kind of 18th-century getup

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 4d

"Look how much Michael Myers is destroying people’s lives - of course he’s a Boomer."

-Halloween: Resurrection

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 5d

"See, this is proof dreams don’t matter. Fuck dreams - no one should have them." (Eric)

"Just do what I do, man: go to bed high as a kite every night. You’re not having any fucking dreams."

-A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 6d

"Do you think the Stoker estate was like, ‘Are you serious? There’s SO much nu-metal in this soundtrack! Dracula shouldn’t listen to nu-metal!’?"

-Dracula 2000

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 6d

"I read that Jimmy Buffett was approached to be a pirate in the last movie and he was too busy." (Steve)

"They had to tell him, ‘Hawaii didn’t exist yet - you can’t wear a Hawaiian shirt, Jimmy.’" (Chelsea)

-Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 7d

"From second one of this movie, Hunk-a-mania runs wild on you! And you’re like, how are these guys not knee-deep in it right now?"

"We’re assembling a super team of psychic hunks!" (Eric)

-Dreamcatcher

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 7d

"She had a career in the early aughts as the attractive white lady that just shows up in things, right?" (Steve)

"She’s one of those actors who can phase in and out of things totally unknown like the Invisible Woman."

-On Ali Larter; Final Destination 2

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 8d

"Even I had a Big Dog t-shirt! It looked terrible! We got it from J.C. Penney, and it was too big."

-Man's Best Friend

A Big Dogs t-shirt with the text "Bad Dog - Don't Even Think About a Leash"

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 8d

"Alright, I guess if I got ambushed with monkey pizza, I’d eat it. But I would not order it off a menu!"

-Man's Best Friend

Szyszka’s Screeds @szyszkas-screeds.bsky.social · 8d

"'We’re making monkey pizza, Luigi!’ (Andrew)

"Oh, man - would you try that?"

"I would not eat a monkey." (Andrew)

"Just one slice! With monkeys on a pizza, you can have monkeys any time!"

-Man's Best Friend

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 9d

"Welcome to another exciting, spine-tingling edition of the Spooktacular!"

"My spine feels fine." (Eric)

"Oh, well, I guess I’m having a stroke."

-Man's Best Friend

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 12d

"At one point, I was just like, ‘You know what? I don’t have my shirt off enough. This is my house - I’ll take my fucking shirt off!’"

-The Final Destination

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 13d

"Two spots in the house where you never Do the Dew: your fucking bedside table and the bathroom. Don’t bring Mountain Dew into either room."

"That’s when you know you have a problem - when you’re hiding Mountain Dew in the bathroom." (Eric)

-The Final Destination

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 13d

"What is with this Jay Leno-esque fleet of cars he has?!" (Steve)

"Well, that’s like a Mr. Miyagi prequel. That was his other life, like he had a Gone in 60 Seconds situation."

-The Karate Kid (live)

Mr. Miyagi's fleet of classic cars in The Karate Kid

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 14d

"Dude, his meditation app. ‘Pay to pray, bro! It’s awesome!’" (Steve)

"That is a truly offensive scam, because you’re preying on Catholics - they’re paying to pray anyway!"

-Uncharted

Launch - Father Stu

Hallow is the #1 app for prayer, meditation, music, audio-bible, and sleep. Pray with Mark Wahlberg every day this Lent exclusively on Hallow.

hallow.com

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 15d

"'Hey, uh, Lomax, thanks for getting me off. You wanna go split 2000 pancakes with me?'" (Steve)

"‘That is way too many pancakes, Hog Beast!’"

-The Devil's Advocate

Chris Bauer as the pervert teacher in The Devil's Advocate

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 15d

"Being overdressed for the creation of a human centipede - how embarrassing!"

-The Human Centipede

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 16d

"Donkey Punch had to crawl so that Human Centipede could run, my friend."

-The Human Centipede

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 18d

"Just make Jason a libertarian. Maybe he was just a dude who was weird." (Eric)

"He’s gotta have a bandana with the American flag and a cutoff t-shirt that says ‘If You Can Read This, the Bitch Fell Off.’"

-Friday the 13th (2009)

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 20d

"You never huffed gas and put on a Springsteen record?"

-Friday the 13th (2009)

Szyszka’s Screeds @szyszkas-screeds.bsky.social · 20d

"People who don’t know New Jersey, they moved to that law because everyone there was huffing the gas. You know Jersey."

-On not being able to pump your own gas in New Jersey; Friday the 13th (2009)

Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 21d

"I went up to the bartender, and I was like, ‘Can I have 4 PBRs? And can you do me a solid and don’t open any of them?’ And she was like, ‘That’s against the law.’ And I went, ‘Aww, come on!’ And she was like, ‘Okay!’"

-Friday the 13th (2009)

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 21d

"Dude, a Jabba orgy?!" (Eric)

"You better bring a sponge, dude."

"Jabba probably watches people fuck." (Eric)

"Well, of course he does - he’s the fattest cuck in the galaxy."

-Van Helsing

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Jupin's Gems @jupinsgems.bsky.social · 22d

"I think like ⅙ of Europe’s population died of windmill explosions."

-Van Helsing