Julia Clement
@juliaclement.bsky.social
If you like my memes, feel free to share, either here or elsewhere. Just keep my credits.
To see more, follow me.
Auckland based comedian, playwright & comedy producer.
To see more, follow me.
Auckland based comedian, playwright & comedy producer.
I'm sick of the conspiracy nuts claiming #NASA faked Flash Gordon's 1934 #Moon_landing.
February 7, 2026 at 8:03 AM
I'm sick of the conspiracy nuts claiming #NASA faked Flash Gordon's 1934 #Moon_landing.
February 6, 2026 at 3:52 AM
London to Sofia 2,013 km; Auckland to Sydney 2,223 km.
England is closer to Bulgaria than NZ to Australia yet we don’t confuse them.
England is closer to Bulgaria than NZ to Australia yet we don’t confuse them.
February 5, 2026 at 4:41 AM
London to Sofia 2,013 km; Auckland to Sydney 2,223 km.
England is closer to Bulgaria than NZ to Australia yet we don’t confuse them.
England is closer to Bulgaria than NZ to Australia yet we don’t confuse them.
February 4, 2026 at 5:10 AM
Ever noticed how they like to invent new names for old things so they can claim they’re a new idea.
Take #driverless cars, 40 years ago we just used to say “Forgot to put the handbrake on.”
Take #driverless cars, 40 years ago we just used to say “Forgot to put the handbrake on.”
February 3, 2026 at 4:34 AM
Ever noticed how they like to invent new names for old things so they can claim they’re a new idea.
Take #driverless cars, 40 years ago we just used to say “Forgot to put the handbrake on.”
Take #driverless cars, 40 years ago we just used to say “Forgot to put the handbrake on.”
Outdoor comedy 6:30 pm Fri 6/2 Potter's Park, Mt Eden, weather permitting.
Free, koha gladly accepted
Parental discretion is advised
Event: park.comedyshow.nz/events/412/ .
@aucklandcomedy.bsky.social
#Comedy #OpenMicComedy #MountEden #MountEdenComedy #MtEden #MtEdenComedy #Balmoral #BalmoralComedy
Free, koha gladly accepted
Parental discretion is advised
Event: park.comedyshow.nz/events/412/ .
@aucklandcomedy.bsky.social
#Comedy #OpenMicComedy #MountEden #MountEdenComedy #MtEden #MtEdenComedy #Balmoral #BalmoralComedy
Potters Park, Mount Eden, Free Comedy
90 minutes, more or less, of live, in person, stand-up comedy featuring Auckland comedians at a variety of levels performing comedy never before heard in Potters Park for you. You never know what you’...
park.comedyshow.nz
February 2, 2026 at 5:47 AM
Outdoor comedy 6:30 pm Fri 6/2 Potter's Park, Mt Eden, weather permitting.
Free, koha gladly accepted
Parental discretion is advised
Event: park.comedyshow.nz/events/412/ .
@aucklandcomedy.bsky.social
#Comedy #OpenMicComedy #MountEden #MountEdenComedy #MtEden #MtEdenComedy #Balmoral #BalmoralComedy
Free, koha gladly accepted
Parental discretion is advised
Event: park.comedyshow.nz/events/412/ .
@aucklandcomedy.bsky.social
#Comedy #OpenMicComedy #MountEden #MountEdenComedy #MtEden #MtEdenComedy #Balmoral #BalmoralComedy
Gender is what's between the ears, not what's between the legs ...
My gender must be wax.
My gender must be wax.
February 1, 2026 at 4:22 AM
Gender is what's between the ears, not what's between the legs ...
My gender must be wax.
My gender must be wax.
"Optimists say the cup is half full,
Pessimists say the cup is half empty.
Julia doesn't care as long as the half that's there is coffee."
-- a former co-worker
Pessimists say the cup is half empty.
Julia doesn't care as long as the half that's there is coffee."
-- a former co-worker
January 31, 2026 at 4:56 AM
"Optimists say the cup is half full,
Pessimists say the cup is half empty.
Julia doesn't care as long as the half that's there is coffee."
-- a former co-worker
Pessimists say the cup is half empty.
Julia doesn't care as long as the half that's there is coffee."
-- a former co-worker
January 29, 2026 at 5:16 AM
65.5 million years ago an #asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs.
Including those further north who hadn't the foresight to build a wall. Too soon?
Including those further north who hadn't the foresight to build a wall. Too soon?
January 28, 2026 at 10:15 AM
65.5 million years ago an #asteroid crashed into Mexico and wiped out the dinosaurs.
Including those further north who hadn't the foresight to build a wall. Too soon?
Including those further north who hadn't the foresight to build a wall. Too soon?
January 26, 2026 at 8:41 AM
Outdoor comedy 6:30 pm Fri 30/01 in Mount Albert War Memorial Park, Mount Albert, weather permitting.
Free, koha gladly accepted.
Parental discretion is advised.
Event: park.comedyshow.nz/events/406/ .
#Comedy #OpenMicComedy #MtAlbert #MountAlbert #MountAlbertComedy
@aucklandcomedy.bsky.social
Free, koha gladly accepted.
Parental discretion is advised.
Event: park.comedyshow.nz/events/406/ .
#Comedy #OpenMicComedy #MtAlbert #MountAlbert #MountAlbertComedy
@aucklandcomedy.bsky.social
January 26, 2026 at 7:17 AM
Outdoor comedy 6:30 pm Fri 30/01 in Mount Albert War Memorial Park, Mount Albert, weather permitting.
Free, koha gladly accepted.
Parental discretion is advised.
Event: park.comedyshow.nz/events/406/ .
#Comedy #OpenMicComedy #MtAlbert #MountAlbert #MountAlbertComedy
@aucklandcomedy.bsky.social
Free, koha gladly accepted.
Parental discretion is advised.
Event: park.comedyshow.nz/events/406/ .
#Comedy #OpenMicComedy #MtAlbert #MountAlbert #MountAlbertComedy
@aucklandcomedy.bsky.social
I just don’t understand the English language.
If homophobes are people who hate gays, why aren’t #homophones people who chat to gays?
If homophobes are people who hate gays, why aren’t #homophones people who chat to gays?
January 25, 2026 at 7:44 AM
I just don’t understand the English language.
If homophobes are people who hate gays, why aren’t #homophones people who chat to gays?
If homophobes are people who hate gays, why aren’t #homophones people who chat to gays?
“Why is airline food so bad?”
“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good."
“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good."
January 24, 2026 at 6:37 AM
“Why is airline food so bad?”
“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good."
“Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good."
January 23, 2026 at 6:21 AM
There's a new #dating app out for people who want to date #Australians.
It's called Ockr.
Their slogan is "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, swipe, swipe, swipe."
It's called Ockr.
Their slogan is "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, swipe, swipe, swipe."
January 22, 2026 at 5:39 AM
There's a new #dating app out for people who want to date #Australians.
It's called Ockr.
Their slogan is "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, swipe, swipe, swipe."
It's called Ockr.
Their slogan is "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, swipe, swipe, swipe."
January 21, 2026 at 5:35 AM
#Birthdays are funny things.
We’re basically celebrating that we haven’t died during the previous 365 days.
Why not celebrate the last day of every month we haven’t died in?
More #parties.
We’re basically celebrating that we haven’t died during the previous 365 days.
Why not celebrate the last day of every month we haven’t died in?
More #parties.
January 20, 2026 at 8:09 AM
#Birthdays are funny things.
We’re basically celebrating that we haven’t died during the previous 365 days.
Why not celebrate the last day of every month we haven’t died in?
More #parties.
We’re basically celebrating that we haven’t died during the previous 365 days.
Why not celebrate the last day of every month we haven’t died in?
More #parties.
January 19, 2026 at 6:19 AM
WTF - #Briscoes are having a sale! ???
It's the end of civilisation as we know it.
Next you'll have men and women marrying each other and we'll all be getting bargains at The Warehouse.
It's the end of civilisation as we know it.
Next you'll have men and women marrying each other and we'll all be getting bargains at The Warehouse.
January 18, 2026 at 5:36 AM
WTF - #Briscoes are having a sale! ???
It's the end of civilisation as we know it.
Next you'll have men and women marrying each other and we'll all be getting bargains at The Warehouse.
It's the end of civilisation as we know it.
Next you'll have men and women marrying each other and we'll all be getting bargains at The Warehouse.
Methamphetamine, morphine, methadone, and cocaine found in Auckland #sewer system.
Where's the #crocodiles?
Where's the #crocodiles?
January 17, 2026 at 6:55 AM
Methamphetamine, morphine, methadone, and cocaine found in Auckland #sewer system.
Where's the #crocodiles?
Where's the #crocodiles?
January 16, 2026 at 3:12 AM
My joke about thinking trees flopped.
It was too cerebral for most and too arboreal for others.
It was too cerebral for most and too arboreal for others.
January 15, 2026 at 5:52 AM
My joke about thinking trees flopped.
It was too cerebral for most and too arboreal for others.
It was too cerebral for most and too arboreal for others.