Every day I start the Wordle with the same word. Today, for about three seconds, I thought it was finally my day to get it in one. Oh well.

“We’re not exactly sure where pain signals from your guts go to in your brain, but don’t worry—we checked and the brain’s sensory apparatus lights up like a Christmas tree when we shove a balloon up someone’s butt and inflate it!”

Good job, fellas.

Such lucky coworkers!

Putting a cat bed on my desk was the right call.

Definitely stronger with some classes than others. Never did finish Trooper.

But I have SO much to say about this uptight motherf*cker.

Man, it’s gonna take some doing to get this thing to the local phone screen repair shop…