Captain Atticus Pünt ⚓️
@joeyfukinlawrence.bsky.social
Captain of Her Majesty’s First Royal Air Ship Fleet. Teller of Tales, big and small. World Traveller, if I could be bothered. Lover of good food, strong drink and mystical enchantment.
Another Day, 20 more Executive Orders. I exaggerate. A little. When will this Ministry of Malfeasance finally crumble?
August 29, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Another Day, 20 more Executive Orders. I exaggerate. A little. When will this Ministry of Malfeasance finally crumble?
Reposted by Captain Atticus Pünt ⚓️
Snoop Dog, being scared of a same sex couple in an animated movie, is not very gangster.
August 26, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Snoop Dog, being scared of a same sex couple in an animated movie, is not very gangster.
While JD Vance is in the stall dabbing his panocha, Hegseth is at the middle urinal trying to shake your hand while you pee so he can “think of that later”. ✊🏽😝✊🏽
August 26, 2025 at 11:16 PM
While JD Vance is in the stall dabbing his panocha, Hegseth is at the middle urinal trying to shake your hand while you pee so he can “think of that later”. ✊🏽😝✊🏽
Did you know that in France it is still illegal to name a pig Napoleon?
August 14, 2025 at 4:05 AM
Did you know that in France it is still illegal to name a pig Napoleon?
“Breaking: The National Hurricane Center is tracking a strong tropical Stormy Daniels heading directly toward Palm Beach, Florida, predicted to become a category 5 which scientists say would have sufficient force to launch a 6'3" 215 pound man-baby out to sea.” ~TheScientificSkeptic.com
August 13, 2025 at 10:01 PM
“Breaking: The National Hurricane Center is tracking a strong tropical Stormy Daniels heading directly toward Palm Beach, Florida, predicted to become a category 5 which scientists say would have sufficient force to launch a 6'3" 215 pound man-baby out to sea.” ~TheScientificSkeptic.com
“Have the day you voted for” is such a delicious way to say I told you so.
Hashtag synonym toast punch
Hashtag synonym toast punch
August 13, 2025 at 6:44 PM
“Have the day you voted for” is such a delicious way to say I told you so.
Hashtag synonym toast punch
Hashtag synonym toast punch
My kaftan didn’t have have pockets, so I opened the side seams to have a place to rest my hands. Kinda weird. Don’t visualise it.
August 13, 2025 at 3:46 PM
My kaftan didn’t have have pockets, so I opened the side seams to have a place to rest my hands. Kinda weird. Don’t visualise it.
Coldplay hasn’t been this relevant since the Conscious Uncoupling of 2014. At least this time we know it wasn’t the wife’s fault…
July 23, 2025 at 1:42 PM
Coldplay hasn’t been this relevant since the Conscious Uncoupling of 2014. At least this time we know it wasn’t the wife’s fault…
Anaphylactic and Prophylactic. Two completely different things, one common denominator: No Nuts.
#dashboardconfessionals #sundayfunnies
#dashboardconfessionals #sundayfunnies
July 13, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Anaphylactic and Prophylactic. Two completely different things, one common denominator: No Nuts.
#dashboardconfessionals #sundayfunnies
#dashboardconfessionals #sundayfunnies
Sleep
I can feel you tugging at my consciousness. My eyes grow heavy and my breath soft. Hold me until morning, do not let me go, for I fear I may not return. Our time together is brief but cherished.
I can feel you tugging at my consciousness. My eyes grow heavy and my breath soft. Hold me until morning, do not let me go, for I fear I may not return. Our time together is brief but cherished.
July 13, 2025 at 6:31 AM
Sleep
I can feel you tugging at my consciousness. My eyes grow heavy and my breath soft. Hold me until morning, do not let me go, for I fear I may not return. Our time together is brief but cherished.
I can feel you tugging at my consciousness. My eyes grow heavy and my breath soft. Hold me until morning, do not let me go, for I fear I may not return. Our time together is brief but cherished.
Vanity Fair is Everywhere!
Graydon Carter was my personal hero - a rogue, raffish gentleman bastard that was both loved and hated. And he seemed to relish in it.
Read more at substack.com/@champagneho...
Graydon Carter was my personal hero - a rogue, raffish gentleman bastard that was both loved and hated. And he seemed to relish in it.
Read more at substack.com/@champagneho...
Captain Atticus Pünd | Substack
Teller of Tales, big and small. World Traveller, if I could be bothered. Lover of good food, strong drink and mystical enchantment.
substack.com
July 12, 2025 at 7:11 PM
Vanity Fair is Everywhere!
Graydon Carter was my personal hero - a rogue, raffish gentleman bastard that was both loved and hated. And he seemed to relish in it.
Read more at substack.com/@champagneho...
Graydon Carter was my personal hero - a rogue, raffish gentleman bastard that was both loved and hated. And he seemed to relish in it.
Read more at substack.com/@champagneho...
Have you encountered the amazing Nautilus on AMC or HULU yet? All the underwater steampunk goodness. Carry on ☕️
July 8, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Have you encountered the amazing Nautilus on AMC or HULU yet? All the underwater steampunk goodness. Carry on ☕️
Found some freezer meat that dates back to 2020. Prehistoric Pandemic Meat.
July 7, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Found some freezer meat that dates back to 2020. Prehistoric Pandemic Meat.
Watching Cabaret with some mid-morning mimosas. How absolutely current the themes. Chin chin 🥂
July 5, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Watching Cabaret with some mid-morning mimosas. How absolutely current the themes. Chin chin 🥂
“That is the sort of errant pedantry up with which I shall not put” ~Sir Winston Churchill on terminal prepositions. #funwithwords
June 23, 2025 at 5:27 PM
“That is the sort of errant pedantry up with which I shall not put” ~Sir Winston Churchill on terminal prepositions. #funwithwords
The Princess of No King’s Day
I’ve seen some pretty glorious Military Parades in my day. - everything from Coronations, Weddings, Deaths, Shows of Strength, 909 Trucks… but the Parade for Princess Tiny Hands really lost its head…
Follow my Substack for rest
substack.com/@champagneho...
I’ve seen some pretty glorious Military Parades in my day. - everything from Coronations, Weddings, Deaths, Shows of Strength, 909 Trucks… but the Parade for Princess Tiny Hands really lost its head…
Follow my Substack for rest
substack.com/@champagneho...
June 18, 2025 at 9:37 PM
The Princess of No King’s Day
I’ve seen some pretty glorious Military Parades in my day. - everything from Coronations, Weddings, Deaths, Shows of Strength, 909 Trucks… but the Parade for Princess Tiny Hands really lost its head…
Follow my Substack for rest
substack.com/@champagneho...
I’ve seen some pretty glorious Military Parades in my day. - everything from Coronations, Weddings, Deaths, Shows of Strength, 909 Trucks… but the Parade for Princess Tiny Hands really lost its head…
Follow my Substack for rest
substack.com/@champagneho...
How absolutely gorgeous The Last Showgirl is. Pamela Anderson’s performance is sublime. Jamie Lee Curtis as the wizened cocktail waitress. The backdrop of a fading Las Vegas under the weight of the new. We’re all a bit of the faded and jaded last showgirl.
June 8, 2025 at 4:15 AM
How absolutely gorgeous The Last Showgirl is. Pamela Anderson’s performance is sublime. Jamie Lee Curtis as the wizened cocktail waitress. The backdrop of a fading Las Vegas under the weight of the new. We’re all a bit of the faded and jaded last showgirl.
C’mon Musky, it’s time to Make America Great Again. Obliterate his arse.
June 7, 2025 at 1:18 AM
C’mon Musky, it’s time to Make America Great Again. Obliterate his arse.
“Must be exhausting always rooting for the antichrist” or whatever Taylor Swift said
June 6, 2025 at 3:08 AM
“Must be exhausting always rooting for the antichrist” or whatever Taylor Swift said
Sad to not see too many Winchell’s Donuts anymore. They had a killer cheese muffin in the late 80s 👴🏼
June 3, 2025 at 7:19 PM
Sad to not see too many Winchell’s Donuts anymore. They had a killer cheese muffin in the late 80s 👴🏼
Look what I did! Thyme, in a bottle. Saved. 🙄
May 23, 2025 at 12:52 AM
Look what I did! Thyme, in a bottle. Saved. 🙄
“Dear Mr. DeMille; I am ready for my coffee now. Thank you”.
When you aren’t quite ready for your close-up, but you’re getting there.
When you aren’t quite ready for your close-up, but you’re getting there.
May 19, 2025 at 2:25 PM
“Dear Mr. DeMille; I am ready for my coffee now. Thank you”.
When you aren’t quite ready for your close-up, but you’re getting there.
When you aren’t quite ready for your close-up, but you’re getting there.
I think it’s time to bring back the Drakkar Noir
May 18, 2025 at 3:37 AM
I think it’s time to bring back the Drakkar Noir
“So dark the con of man” DaVinci
May 10, 2025 at 3:42 PM
“So dark the con of man” DaVinci
The weather is perfect this morning, windows open, slight breeze. I was refilling my ice bucket when I hear somebody shout “Damn you use a lot of ice!” I loudly responded “I’m gay, I drink a lot of iced coffee!”. I actually heard applause in the laughter. #ilivefortheapplause
May 9, 2025 at 3:59 PM
The weather is perfect this morning, windows open, slight breeze. I was refilling my ice bucket when I hear somebody shout “Damn you use a lot of ice!” I loudly responded “I’m gay, I drink a lot of iced coffee!”. I actually heard applause in the laughter. #ilivefortheapplause