Joe 🤺
@joenockles.bsky.social
How long until I post my ass for attention?
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Joe 🤺
@joenockles.bsky.social
· Nov 15
Introduce yourself with
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one book 📚
one movie 🎥
one album 💿
one tv show 📺
Why is it always tall people who like standing desks? We get it
November 12, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Why is it always tall people who like standing desks? We get it
I know there's bigger stuff going on but can we talk about the set list for the Radiohead reunion shows? The last two albums nearly completely absent as if to validate those people who think they lost it after In Rainbows. And maybe that's true, but there was an opportunity to reframe it here.
November 11, 2025 at 12:29 PM
I know there's bigger stuff going on but can we talk about the set list for the Radiohead reunion shows? The last two albums nearly completely absent as if to validate those people who think they lost it after In Rainbows. And maybe that's true, but there was an opportunity to reframe it here.
Feel like I’m going back on myself here, I’ve defo tweeted this before a few years back but - hot guy in my gym, but hes got a Harry Potter tattoo on the back of his neck. I’m not allowed to bang him, am I?
October 22, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Feel like I’m going back on myself here, I’ve defo tweeted this before a few years back but - hot guy in my gym, but hes got a Harry Potter tattoo on the back of his neck. I’m not allowed to bang him, am I?
I have a sexy new colleague with almost exactly the same name as my ex, but fuller lips. I doubt he's a 'mo, but I've decided to harbour a parasocial crush on him anyway
October 7, 2025 at 1:59 PM
I have a sexy new colleague with almost exactly the same name as my ex, but fuller lips. I doubt he's a 'mo, but I've decided to harbour a parasocial crush on him anyway
Who knew Travis Kelce had a podcast? Or any sportsball people for that matter.
August 12, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Who knew Travis Kelce had a podcast? Or any sportsball people for that matter.
Changed my work password to my favourite downer so I could get better at spelling it / pronouncing it and now every time I log into my computer, I relax a little bit.
July 23, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Changed my work password to my favourite downer so I could get better at spelling it / pronouncing it and now every time I log into my computer, I relax a little bit.
Wait, have I been gay baited by Moses Sumney all this time?
June 23, 2025 at 9:46 AM
Wait, have I been gay baited by Moses Sumney all this time?
Life hack: having a vape in your rucksack functions like a car freshener by constantly giving off a kinda sickly but not-unpleasant smell
June 11, 2025 at 10:38 AM
Life hack: having a vape in your rucksack functions like a car freshener by constantly giving off a kinda sickly but not-unpleasant smell
The Telegraph bucking the consensus by saying Cowboy Carter is a confusing mess with bad sight lines and Charli at Primavera was underwhelming.
June 9, 2025 at 9:56 AM
The Telegraph bucking the consensus by saying Cowboy Carter is a confusing mess with bad sight lines and Charli at Primavera was underwhelming.
I hate work. In the small chat before a meeting just now, the host of the meeting said someone was wearing a 'particularly bold jumper'. It was red. It was just a red jumper.
June 9, 2025 at 9:03 AM
I hate work. In the small chat before a meeting just now, the host of the meeting said someone was wearing a 'particularly bold jumper'. It was red. It was just a red jumper.
I love getting emails like this from Pizza Express. My dad's alive and lovely, but no I dont wanna hear about Father's Day from anyone at all tbh
May 30, 2025 at 2:31 PM
I love getting emails like this from Pizza Express. My dad's alive and lovely, but no I dont wanna hear about Father's Day from anyone at all tbh
There is nothing more unhinged than a You and Yours Phone-In special
May 20, 2025 at 12:57 PM
There is nothing more unhinged than a You and Yours Phone-In special
Reposted by Joe 🤺
Does anyone else think that giving oral sex isn’t for the receiver? I’m doing this for me. Like yes, I’m doing a good job, but also, hands off. The mic is mine, this performance and set list isn’t decided by you. YOU get the show I give.
May 8, 2025 at 8:38 PM
Does anyone else think that giving oral sex isn’t for the receiver? I’m doing this for me. Like yes, I’m doing a good job, but also, hands off. The mic is mine, this performance and set list isn’t decided by you. YOU get the show I give.
Ruby Sunday should not be going on a podcast. Kate should not be dating Colonel Ibrahim. And I should not be doing a little cry at every vaguely romantic bit of dialogue.
May 3, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Ruby Sunday should not be going on a podcast. Kate should not be dating Colonel Ibrahim. And I should not be doing a little cry at every vaguely romantic bit of dialogue.
Me and this really handsome very yoga-coded boy went into Co-op solely to buy a small thing of baby oil and when I put it on the counter, Ahmed (who I’ve been flirting with for months) gave us SUCH a fruity look.
May 3, 2025 at 4:28 PM
Me and this really handsome very yoga-coded boy went into Co-op solely to buy a small thing of baby oil and when I put it on the counter, Ahmed (who I’ve been flirting with for months) gave us SUCH a fruity look.
All of a sudden it's Bring Your Ex-Boyfriend To Work day.
April 30, 2025 at 10:40 AM
All of a sudden it's Bring Your Ex-Boyfriend To Work day.
If I had a penny for every hookup recently who has said “when I win the Omaze house, I’ll live round here too” I’d have two pennies.
April 22, 2025 at 3:00 PM
If I had a penny for every hookup recently who has said “when I win the Omaze house, I’ll live round here too” I’d have two pennies.
FINALLY - Bermondsey is getting a fourth branch of WatchHouse coffee. We were really struggling there with just three.
April 22, 2025 at 8:38 AM
FINALLY - Bermondsey is getting a fourth branch of WatchHouse coffee. We were really struggling there with just three.
Did everyone stop making Instagram profiles for their pets or did I just unfollow them all?
April 21, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Did everyone stop making Instagram profiles for their pets or did I just unfollow them all?
I went out to buy chocolate earlier so I could feel a part of mainstream culture and I came back with a brie
April 20, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I went out to buy chocolate earlier so I could feel a part of mainstream culture and I came back with a brie
Ive been playing Hinge today, but once you’ve rejected all the boys who insist on monogamy, there’s not much left
April 19, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Ive been playing Hinge today, but once you’ve rejected all the boys who insist on monogamy, there’s not much left
Reposted by Joe 🤺
In years to come we'll look at this era and wonder why in light of a global pandemic, economic inflation, growing inequality and technological upheaval we decided to make the private lives of a minority considerably worse.
April 16, 2025 at 1:12 PM
In years to come we'll look at this era and wonder why in light of a global pandemic, economic inflation, growing inequality and technological upheaval we decided to make the private lives of a minority considerably worse.
I just nearly called a lift expressly so I could use the mirror to see how big a spot is.
April 15, 2025 at 12:29 PM
I just nearly called a lift expressly so I could use the mirror to see how big a spot is.
Literally everybody is German all of a sudden
April 9, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Literally everybody is German all of a sudden
I think I’ve gone off pesto. Like it’s too…. joyful?
April 9, 2025 at 1:11 PM
I think I’ve gone off pesto. Like it’s too…. joyful?