Jeremy Fassler
@jfassler.bsky.social
Journalist. Bylines: The New York Times, Vulture, The Daily Beast, Mother Jones. Former: Capitol Forum, Daily Banter.
Jeff: Why do you listen to this shitty Asian music?
Sutton: Grandpa, I like this song!
Jeff: If you like Korean stuff then why did they let the maid in in Parasite?
Sutton: Dance with me!
Jeff: Real men don't dance! They do LSD!
Sutton: Grandpa, I like this song!
Jeff: If you like Korean stuff then why did they let the maid in in Parasite?
Sutton: Dance with me!
Jeff: Real men don't dance! They do LSD!
November 28, 2025 at 12:52 PM
Jeff: Why do you listen to this shitty Asian music?
Sutton: Grandpa, I like this song!
Jeff: If you like Korean stuff then why did they let the maid in in Parasite?
Sutton: Dance with me!
Jeff: Real men don't dance! They do LSD!
Sutton: Grandpa, I like this song!
Jeff: If you like Korean stuff then why did they let the maid in in Parasite?
Sutton: Dance with me!
Jeff: Real men don't dance! They do LSD!
Olivia Nuzzi's just a girl in love! She can't be held responsible for her actions! She has no underlying issues to address, she's certifiably cute and adorably obsessed! They say love makes you crazy therefore you can't call her crazy cuz when you call her crazy you're just calling her in love! BAM!
November 18, 2025 at 12:48 AM
Olivia Nuzzi's just a girl in love! She can't be held responsible for her actions! She has no underlying issues to address, she's certifiably cute and adorably obsessed! They say love makes you crazy therefore you can't call her crazy cuz when you call her crazy you're just calling her in love! BAM!
Ah Walker Bragman, he of the worst-aged headline in history. (One for which he will never apologize, despite my best efforts.)
November 10, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Ah Walker Bragman, he of the worst-aged headline in history. (One for which he will never apologize, despite my best efforts.)
There's probably something worse than a Nazi tattoo that's gonna drop on Platner, so brace yourselves.
October 31, 2025 at 5:44 PM
There's probably something worse than a Nazi tattoo that's gonna drop on Platner, so brace yourselves.
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump loses @nobelprize.bsky.social to George C. Scott in Man Getting Hit By Football.
October 10, 2025 at 5:05 PM
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump loses @nobelprize.bsky.social to George C. Scott in Man Getting Hit By Football.
If the headline of your article takes the form of a question, then 99% of the time the answer is "no."
October 6, 2025 at 1:15 PM
If the headline of your article takes the form of a question, then 99% of the time the answer is "no."
This is still a less offensive depiction of Mexicans than Emilia Pérez.
October 2, 2025 at 6:01 PM
This is still a less offensive depiction of Mexicans than Emilia Pérez.
What do you call it when Hinton Battle wins three Tony Awards for Best Featured Actor in a Musical? One Battle After Another.
September 9, 2025 at 12:03 PM
What do you call it when Hinton Battle wins three Tony Awards for Best Featured Actor in a Musical? One Battle After Another.
Breaking News out of Venice - Jeff Wells lost his wallet, AND he's using a fake ID that says he was born in 1977. Now I ask you, is that the face of a 48-year-old?
September 6, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Breaking News out of Venice - Jeff Wells lost his wallet, AND he's using a fake ID that says he was born in 1977. Now I ask you, is that the face of a 48-year-old?
Day one of Jeff Wells' Venice Excursion: He forgets his meds, refuses to drive back home to get them, stops off at CVS on his way to the airport to pick them up and harasses the woman behind the counter for being on lunch break. All this before even boarding the plane.
August 24, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Day one of Jeff Wells' Venice Excursion: He forgets his meds, refuses to drive back home to get them, stops off at CVS on his way to the airport to pick them up and harasses the woman behind the counter for being on lunch break. All this before even boarding the plane.
"Don't be stupid, be a smarty! Come and join the Nazi Party!"
August 20, 2025 at 4:29 PM
"Don't be stupid, be a smarty! Come and join the Nazi Party!"
Jeff Wells was dumb enough to post all his travel information for his train to Venice this month so people have been going onto the site and changing his name. It is amazing.
August 16, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Jeff Wells was dumb enough to post all his travel information for his train to Venice this month so people have been going onto the site and changing his name. It is amazing.
I urge anyone in NYC this fall to see the restoration of Howard Brookner's criminally under-seen Robert Wilson and the Civil Wars when it plays the New York Film Festival. It is a fascinating and heartbreaking depiction of what happens when artistry runs afoul of commerce.
August 15, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I urge anyone in NYC this fall to see the restoration of Howard Brookner's criminally under-seen Robert Wilson and the Civil Wars when it plays the New York Film Festival. It is a fascinating and heartbreaking depiction of what happens when artistry runs afoul of commerce.
Yikes, even by his standards he looks horrible there. Here's one of my favorites:
August 13, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Yikes, even by his standards he looks horrible there. Here's one of my favorites:
That's nothing - let's not forget New Hampshire Congressman Dick Swett!
August 7, 2025 at 8:54 PM
That's nothing - let's not forget New Hampshire Congressman Dick Swett!
Bet you wish you had my dog. I mean, he barks a lot and is hella stubborn on walks, but he makes up for it by being the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.
August 7, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Bet you wish you had my dog. I mean, he barks a lot and is hella stubborn on walks, but he makes up for it by being the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.
"OK, here's what you're gonna do: Step kick kick leap kick touch. Again. Step kick kick leap kick touch. Right, let's do the whole combination facing away from the mirror. A five, six, seven eight!"
July 28, 2025 at 3:11 PM
"OK, here's what you're gonna do: Step kick kick leap kick touch. Again. Step kick kick leap kick touch. Right, let's do the whole combination facing away from the mirror. A five, six, seven eight!"
Based on the ballots made available on their website, these are the films I predict the @nytimes.com will reveal tomorrow as their Top 20 films of the 21st century:
June 26, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Based on the ballots made available on their website, these are the films I predict the @nytimes.com will reveal tomorrow as their Top 20 films of the 21st century:
I tallied up all of the celebrity ballots that the @nytimes.com released as part of their Top 100 Films of the 21st Century poll and this is what the top 10 would look like, accounting for ties:
June 25, 2025 at 12:33 PM
I tallied up all of the celebrity ballots that the @nytimes.com released as part of their Top 100 Films of the 21st Century poll and this is what the top 10 would look like, accounting for ties:
I cannot tell you how funny it is to see Eric Roth put The Social Network on his @nytimes.com top 10 list because in 2011 he was quoted as saying The Social Network didn't have a single memorable line of dialogue - to which all I can say is "Anne? Punch me in the face."
June 25, 2025 at 12:10 PM
I cannot tell you how funny it is to see Eric Roth put The Social Network on his @nytimes.com top 10 list because in 2011 he was quoted as saying The Social Network didn't have a single memorable line of dialogue - to which all I can say is "Anne? Punch me in the face."
I’ll bet Jeff Wells regrets not reserving an Air BnB for Venice the old fashioned way—by leaving a cowboy hat on the bed!
June 21, 2025 at 11:29 AM
I’ll bet Jeff Wells regrets not reserving an Air BnB for Venice the old fashioned way—by leaving a cowboy hat on the bed!
"When it rained on his parade...I want Donald to know it was me."
June 15, 2025 at 12:20 PM
"When it rained on his parade...I want Donald to know it was me."
It's not sexist. Next question.
June 5, 2025 at 10:59 PM
It's not sexist. Next question.
"I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill, and I'm sitting here on Capitol––OH MY GOD WHO CHANGED THESE LYRICS? I CAN'T SING THAT ON KIDS TV!"
May 20, 2025 at 8:49 PM
"I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill, and I'm sitting here on Capitol––OH MY GOD WHO CHANGED THESE LYRICS? I CAN'T SING THAT ON KIDS TV!"