Jethro Q. Walrustitty
@jethroqwalrustitty.bsky.social
I know that assholes grow on trees
But I'm here to trim the leaves
-- Mike Patton
But I'm here to trim the leaves
-- Mike Patton
December 16, 2025 at 5:23 AM
Your friendly reminder that there are just 21 non-shopping, grievance-building, aluminum-pole-procuring, feats-of-strength-training days remaining until Festivus. Your fake donation cards to The Human Fund are in the mail. LET'S RUMBLE!!!
#festivus #festivusfortherestofus
#festivus #festivusfortherestofus
December 2, 2025 at 5:49 PM
Your friendly reminder that there are just 21 non-shopping, grievance-building, aluminum-pole-procuring, feats-of-strength-training days remaining until Festivus. Your fake donation cards to The Human Fund are in the mail. LET'S RUMBLE!!!
#festivus #festivusfortherestofus
#festivus #festivusfortherestofus
November 23, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Looks like his frantic attempts to guarantee eternal life by bathing daily in the blood of Iraqi civilians didn't work after all.
Adios, war criminal. Enjoy Hell.
Adios, war criminal. Enjoy Hell.
November 4, 2025 at 7:58 PM
Looks like his frantic attempts to guarantee eternal life by bathing daily in the blood of Iraqi civilians didn't work after all.
Adios, war criminal. Enjoy Hell.
Adios, war criminal. Enjoy Hell.
This is some Hunter Thompson-esque level prose right here, and a perfect summation of everything Mango Mussolini is.
August 25, 2025 at 6:20 PM
This is some Hunter Thompson-esque level prose right here, and a perfect summation of everything Mango Mussolini is.
Today is Hunter S. Thompson's birthday. Here are his thoughts about a criminally insane Republican president, George W. Bush. I wonder what he would've thought about our current, exponentially more criminally insane Republican president. Actually, I don't wonder at all. It's obvious. #hst #gonzo
July 18, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Yes, calling the scandal that has motivated your movement for five years a "hoax" and your own followers "weaklings" whose support you "don't even want anymore" is guaranteed to get everyone stop talking about Epstein. Masterful strategy, sir. 4D chess, etc, etc. #DonaldTrumpIsAPedophile
July 17, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Yes, calling the scandal that has motivated your movement for five years a "hoax" and your own followers "weaklings" whose support you "don't even want anymore" is guaranteed to get everyone stop talking about Epstein. Masterful strategy, sir. 4D chess, etc, etc. #DonaldTrumpIsAPedophile
On this, the 249th birthday of our rapidly disintegrating nation, we have a new national anthem. It was written in 1987. Who knew Axl Rose was a prophet??!?
July 4, 2025 at 6:25 PM
On this, the 249th birthday of our rapidly disintegrating nation, we have a new national anthem. It was written in 1987. Who knew Axl Rose was a prophet??!?
"And I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
I thought it was the Fourth of July"
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
I thought it was the Fourth of July"
July 4, 2025 at 6:23 PM
"And I heard it in the wind
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
I thought it was the Fourth of July"
And I saw it in the sky
And I thought it was the end
I thought it was the Fourth of July"
June 9, 2025 at 7:24 PM
The gun-stockpiling, Gadsden flag-waving "patriot" types have been yammering on about an impending authoritarian government takeover for decades, and now that the takeover is actually happening, they literally can't lick the boots hard enough. Gee, I guess they were full of shit this whole time
June 9, 2025 at 6:07 PM
The gun-stockpiling, Gadsden flag-waving "patriot" types have been yammering on about an impending authoritarian government takeover for decades, and now that the takeover is actually happening, they literally can't lick the boots hard enough. Gee, I guess they were full of shit this whole time
The first American Pope ever, *and* he's a vocal Trump critic? No way in hell that was an accident. It's one thing to push Canada and Australia left, but the VATICAN? Trump's power to unite the world* is truly astounding.
*against him
*against him
May 8, 2025 at 9:12 PM
The first American Pope ever, *and* he's a vocal Trump critic? No way in hell that was an accident. It's one thing to push Canada and Australia left, but the VATICAN? Trump's power to unite the world* is truly astounding.
*against him
*against him
(not pictured: guy who shot hole in boat blaming Biden as his lungs fill with water)
April 7, 2025 at 4:21 PM
(not pictured: guy who shot hole in boat blaming Biden as his lungs fill with water)
(furious air guitaring to GN'R intensifies)
April 2, 2025 at 1:25 AM
(furious air guitaring to GN'R intensifies)
100 years ago today, He arose. PH'NGLUI MGLW'NAFH CTHULHU R'LYEH WHAG'NAGL FHTAGN!!! IÄ!!! IÄ!
#Cthulhu #ReasonForTheSeason
#Cthulhu #ReasonForTheSeason
March 23, 2025 at 2:51 PM
100 years ago today, He arose. PH'NGLUI MGLW'NAFH CTHULHU R'LYEH WHAG'NAGL FHTAGN!!! IÄ!!! IÄ!
#Cthulhu #ReasonForTheSeason
#Cthulhu #ReasonForTheSeason
Your friendly reminder that in just 11 days, Great Cthulhu will rise from His slumber in sunken R'Lyeh and turn all of humanity into a tasty snack. Honestly, at this point it's probably for the best.
March 12, 2025 at 5:33 PM
Your friendly reminder that in just 11 days, Great Cthulhu will rise from His slumber in sunken R'Lyeh and turn all of humanity into a tasty snack. Honestly, at this point it's probably for the best.