Ok but man you’ve never had my mom’s pumpkin pie it would blow your mind

The man is substanceless snark personified.

I wish I could convince a few of the (underlyingly decent) U.S. clergy friends I know to start talking like this. But their job security and their middle class lifestyles depend on them not talking like this.

I have a hard time knowing what she actually cares about, other than her own career.

People really didn’t want to believe someone as “big” as JFK could be killed by such a nobody as Oswald alone. But that’s what happened.

Reads: “he always put country over party”

Head: explodes nuclearly

"Heyyyy Zohran, Big Z, just...erm...just checking you got my messages...that sneezing panda, wow, saw it and just thought 'my pal Zohran will love this', anyway...are you around this weekend for pizza in the Big Apple? No worries if not, just...call or...call or text back when you have time..."

If it doesn't affect his pocketbook, he doesn't give a shit, I'm pretty sure.