Jeff Steck
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jefstec.bsky.social
Jeff Steck
@jefstec.bsky.social
860 followers 380 following 500 posts
Patents for a brighter dystopia
📍Chicago
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jefstec.bsky.social
"Bird Stand"
US Patent 12245583
Patent drawing of a mounted turkey that looks like it is standing on a peg leg like a pirate.
November 27, 2025 at 2:28 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Relatedly, I've observed that patent drawings of boats tend to be much better than the average (low) quality of patent drawings.
Patent drawing of a speedboat and someone wake boarding.
November 24, 2025 at 5:03 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
A head support for surgeons.
US Patent 12440303
Patent drawing of a surgeon wearing a sort of harness with a rod extending up the back and supporting his head. He is operating on a rather glamourous patient.
November 24, 2025 at 2:21 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Chicago sunset tonight
Photo of a mottled red and grey sky over trees
November 22, 2025 at 10:40 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Garment top with permanently attached suspenders, patented this week.
US 12471653
Patent drawing of a woman wearing a bustier crop top with suspenders.
November 21, 2025 at 6:14 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
"The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald" in the Mamdani poster font
November 10, 2025 at 7:39 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
In the words of Borges, the idiosyncratic bestiary in this patent application "exerts chaos"
(US20210137137)
the animal includes one or more animals selected from the group consisting of amphibians, arachnids, aviary birds, bats, burros, canaries, cats, centipedes, chickens, chinchillas, cockatiels, crabs, crickets, dogs, doves, ducks, falcons, ferrets, finches, freshwater fish, geese, gerbils, goats, guinea pigs, hamsters, hawks, hedgehogs, horses, invertebrates, land invertebrates, lizards, llamas, lorikeets, lovebirds, mice, miniature horses, mynah birds, octopus, parakeets, parrots, pheasants, pigeons, pond fish, ponies, pot-bellied pigs, quail, rabbits, raccoons, rats, ring-tail possum, saltwater fish, scorpions, short-tailed possum, shrimp, snails, squirrels, sugar gliders, tarantulas, tortoises, toucans, turkeys, and turtles.
November 6, 2025 at 6:04 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
A blanket that converts into a cape.
US Patent 9155341 (issued to "Super Blanky LLC")
Patent drawing of a child wearing a blanket as a cape and posed as a vampire.
October 31, 2025 at 1:40 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
I think this one guy is the market for it.
Photo montage of Frank from 30 Rock wearing various trucker hats, each with a different slogan
October 24, 2025 at 8:34 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
A baseball cap with a magnetic logo so you can quickly swap out your allegiance.
US Patent 12262771
Patent drawing of a baseball cap with a partly-removed patch on the front.
October 24, 2025 at 6:50 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
To this day (literally, see image) people are still trying to perfect the non-pneumatic tire, and they have filed around 8000 patent applications. The fact that we mostly still use regular air-filled tires shows what a great invention they are.
A patent application, published today, for a non-pneumatic tire. It seems to have curved spokes to give a spring-like effect.
October 23, 2025 at 8:40 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
One of our old favorites, the swimming pool filled with plastic sprinkles (US 10513862), was originally rejected as obvious in view of a sandbox.
Patent drawing of a small swimming pool filled with small plastic pellets.
October 22, 2025 at 3:56 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
A punching bag that's also a mirror.
US Patent 12440743
Patent drawing of a boxer and a punching bag. The boxer's reflection is visible in the bag.
October 17, 2025 at 2:05 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Patented today: a sofa that works as an emergency floatation device.
US 12440033
Patent drawing of a person huddled up on a sofa, floating past a flooded house.
October 14, 2025 at 2:49 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
What Chicago looks like where there are no feds. Thousands of people having fun buying beer, cider, and donuts at the Apple Festival.
Photo of a crowd milling around in a street festival under blue skies
October 4, 2025 at 11:02 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
US Patent No. 12426648, issued today for an outdoor garment.
Patent drawing of two hands pulling open an opening in a garment.
September 30, 2025 at 2:03 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Border Patrol currently doing another expensive sightseeing tour over Wrigley Field and the Chicago lakefront.
ADS-B flight tracker map showing a CBP Black Hawk circling Wrigley field before heading south along the Chicago lakefront.
September 29, 2025 at 3:24 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Luggage with cupholders. Patented this week.
US 12419396
Patent drawing of a rollaboard suitcase with circular recesses on top to hold cups.
September 25, 2025 at 3:26 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
W🏳️
Photo of Wrigley Field bleachers, with fans and mascot Clark flying the W.
September 25, 2025 at 3:36 AM
jefstec.bsky.social
A homebuilt printing press for publishing after the rapture without drawing the attention of the Antichrist.
Patent Application Publication US 2012/0279405
Hand-drawn figure of a simple printing press. BACKGROUND OF THE INVENTION I am a born again Christian. The Bible says that there will be a certain event known as the rapture, when born again Christians will be taken to heaven as Christ returns to take them away. There will then be a time of peril upon the earth known commonly as the tribulation period. During this time, the AntiChrist will rule, and claim to be the Christ. You will not be able to buy or sell without the number of the beast which is 666. The gospel will be greatly hindered. Anyone giving out the gospel will be beheaded, and those who trust Christ as their Savior will not be able to buy tracts or have them printed in any way. There will no way to give out the gospel anonymously, and yet many, in times of peril, will be seeking the Lord.
September 23, 2025 at 12:25 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
A hinge that turns a pair of leaf rakes into giant tongs.
US Patent 12317779
Patent drawing of a pair of regular leaf rakes pivoted together halfway along their handles.
September 22, 2025 at 2:07 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Simulate alternate history sporting events.
US Patent 12415130 (issued yesterday)
Patent drawing of a basketball game with the caption "Simulate LeBron vs MJ"
September 17, 2025 at 1:55 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Protect your home from wildfires with a turret-mounted laser weapon that shoots embers out of the sky.
US Patent 12415107 (patented today)
Patent drawing of a house with a laser weapon on the roof and embers from a nearby wildfire arcing toward the house.
September 16, 2025 at 2:36 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
Microwave the brains of the herd members until they stop struggling against their fate.
US Patent 12161125
Sketchy patent drawing of a portion of an animal head with a disconcerted expression and some kind of microwave contraption against its forehead.
September 12, 2025 at 5:16 PM
jefstec.bsky.social
A system that watches chickens to see which ones are likely to hook up.
US 12408632 (patented today)
Patent drawing of chickens in a coop surrounded by cameras. Sequence of patent drawings illustrating a successful mating dance.
September 9, 2025 at 5:51 PM