Happy post to make up for my ideation posting. I have this black skeleton teddy that my wife got me last October. I mentioned that I liked him and so she went and got him for me, because she thinks I need to let myself be soft more often than I do, so hes my cuddle buddy for when she’s not home.

Sui ideation in replies

Im think about 🌌 so much and it makes my heart hurt so badly.

Shoving my sudden intense feelings into a drawer and desperately holding it closed

Jesus Christ I’m so stupid in the worst way

Ooooo I am way too high

your new cupid

Sigh.

Sending 🩺 all the receipts because I know he at least will be 100% on my side. He wants his feral girl back? He’s got her. And she’s going to start maiming people.

And of course 🩺 messages me right when this is going down, and he wants to know what’s up. You know what, fuck it, I’ll tell him the truth. If people didn’t want me to be honest with others about their behaviors they wouldn’t fucking do them.

Hahahahahahaaaa bitch you really don’t wanna do this today I’m already so fucking crazy

Ivy is sure about to scare some men

After careful consideration I hate my ex and wish him genuine doom and destruction 💚

You know it’s interesting that it does feel like all the parts in my system have branched off from one of the five main alters in our system. Like I can write it out so perfectly:

Sunny — 🐰 🌱 🐼
Me — 👑 💋 ⛈️
Tyler — 🎮 🎸 🐻 ✒️
Dallas —💥 🍪 🥊
Joey — 🐎🪞🍷📚

I talked to my wife about it and I feel much better now. She also told me how frequently she thinks about killing him if he ever shows up here to hurt me. And tbh that made me feel safe because I know she will absolutely be able to protect me. She’s jacked as hell and the love of my life 💚💚

Okay i deleted all those posts, please ignore that mental breakdown I’m sexy and cool and fun again

Trying so hard to hide the fact that I am going crazy about leaving my abuser. Like I’m having every emotion known to man lately and it’s making it hard to exist in any way without losing my fucking mind