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“Explain it to me, in the simplest terms,” said the bewildered 79-year-old president of the United States
Trump Asks Nicki Minaj To Explain Eating Ass
WASHINGTON—Pulling her aside at a Treasury Department event Wednesday, President Donald Trump reportedly asked hip-hop artist Nicki Minaj to explain eating ass. “Explain it to me, in the simplest term...
theonion.com
January 30, 2026 at 1:00 AM
“Explain it to me, in the simplest terms,” said the bewildered 79-year-old president of the United States
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Conspiracy Theory Wastes No Time Getting Racist https://theonion.com/conspiracy-theory-wastes-no-time-getting-racist-1839031580/
January 30, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Conspiracy Theory Wastes No Time Getting Racist https://theonion.com/conspiracy-theory-wastes-no-time-getting-racist-1839031580/
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RFK Jr. Promotes Natural Immunity With Invitation To Touch His Festering Sore
RFK Jr. Promotes Natural Immunity With Invitation To Touch His Festering Sore
WASHINGTON—Establishing new federal guidelines for disease prevention as he moves to restrict public access to a number of vaccines, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. launched ...
theonion.com
September 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
RFK Jr. Promotes Natural Immunity With Invitation To Touch His Festering Sore
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Charli XCX, George Daniel Gather Wedding Guests To Cut The Coke https://theonion.com/charli-xcx-george-daniel-gather-wedding-guests-to-cut-the-coke/
September 15, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Charli XCX, George Daniel Gather Wedding Guests To Cut The Coke https://theonion.com/charli-xcx-george-daniel-gather-wedding-guests-to-cut-the-coke/
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Cartas mágicas a cada 6 horas 🔮:
19: o Sol.
-6: os Enamorados.
-0: o Louco.
Desvendar a verdadeira face de alguém em um relacionamento é como atravessar um deserto abrasador, onde o amor pode ser uma ilusão quente e fugaz, com um fim inevitável.
19: o Sol.
-6: os Enamorados.
-0: o Louco.
Desvendar a verdadeira face de alguém em um relacionamento é como atravessar um deserto abrasador, onde o amor pode ser uma ilusão quente e fugaz, com um fim inevitável.
August 25, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Cartas mágicas a cada 6 horas 🔮:
19: o Sol.
-6: os Enamorados.
-0: o Louco.
Desvendar a verdadeira face de alguém em um relacionamento é como atravessar um deserto abrasador, onde o amor pode ser uma ilusão quente e fugaz, com um fim inevitável.
19: o Sol.
-6: os Enamorados.
-0: o Louco.
Desvendar a verdadeira face de alguém em um relacionamento é como atravessar um deserto abrasador, onde o amor pode ser uma ilusão quente e fugaz, com um fim inevitável.
"I almost wanna beat you up for making this look"
August 25, 2025 at 12:49 AM
"I almost wanna beat you up for making this look"
43mil un lomito y una gaseosa
July 12, 2025 at 2:29 AM
43mil un lomito y una gaseosa
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God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle
God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle
THE HEAVENS—Cursing aloud the moment news of Leo XIV’s election arrived on His phone screen, the Lord Almighty told reporters Thursday that he had lost $400 Thursday betting on Cardinal Luis Antonio T...
theonion.com
May 8, 2025 at 7:55 PM
God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle
at this work video call where they play waiting music. which is a first. so thoughtful. or should I say mindful, demure even...
April 28, 2025 at 9:03 PM
at this work video call where they play waiting music. which is a first. so thoughtful. or should I say mindful, demure even...
accidentally read my old journal entries
April 24, 2025 at 6:51 PM
accidentally read my old journal entries
por qué el gobierno pauta en grindr
April 17, 2025 at 7:00 AM
por qué el gobierno pauta en grindr
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Study Finds Cats Only Meow When They Want To Alert Owner Of Neighbor’s Murder They Witnessed Through Window
theonion.com/study-f...
theonion.com/study-f...
April 16, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Study Finds Cats Only Meow When They Want To Alert Owner Of Neighbor’s Murder They Witnessed Through Window
theonion.com/study-f...
theonion.com/study-f...
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Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
WASHINGTON—Warning that even the slightest dent, knick, or scratch would henceforth be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Attorney General Pam Bondi announced Tuesday that Raymond Pratt, a 5...
theonion.com
April 8, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death
my body is a burden and I'm not made to be happy
April 8, 2025 at 12:33 PM
my body is a burden and I'm not made to be happy
churro y buena onda el que me hizo el examen oftalmológico y yo lagrimeando que da gusto
March 31, 2025 at 9:35 PM
churro y buena onda el que me hizo el examen oftalmológico y yo lagrimeando que da gusto
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Experts Recommend Using Hunger As Egg Substitute
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theonion.com/experts...
March 21, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Experts Recommend Using Hunger As Egg Substitute
theonion.com/experts...
theonion.com/experts...
i was making random vocalisations while listening to music when my mom stepped into my study room and told me I sound like a baby elephant
March 21, 2025 at 9:30 PM
i was making random vocalisations while listening to music when my mom stepped into my study room and told me I sound like a baby elephant
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Ethical Diamond Company Only Uses White Children To Mine
http://theonion.com/...
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March 15, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Ethical Diamond Company Only Uses White Children To Mine
http://theonion.com/...
http://theonion.com/...