Ingrid Elkner
@ingridelkner.bsky.social
I wrote words that came out of Jamie Foxx & Danny Trejo's mouths. Comedy. Horror. Music maker. Creep-O-Vision host.
🌎 Melbourne, Australia
🌎 Melbourne, Australia
Pinned
Ingrid Elkner
@ingridelkner.bsky.social
· May 11
I can't believe I'm going to end up dating someone's dad. Like... an old person with a wallet. So embarrassing. Calling an actual dad Daddy.
I dreamed I was wearing shoes in my bed.
I woke and I was wearing shoes.
I woke again and I wasn't wearing shoes.
I never actually woke up.
I woke and I was wearing shoes.
I woke again and I wasn't wearing shoes.
I never actually woke up.
January 27, 2026 at 6:40 AM
I dreamed I was wearing shoes in my bed.
I woke and I was wearing shoes.
I woke again and I wasn't wearing shoes.
I never actually woke up.
I woke and I was wearing shoes.
I woke again and I wasn't wearing shoes.
I never actually woke up.
I thought I was talking to an autistic woman today, but it turned out she was just Russian.
January 25, 2026 at 12:07 PM
I thought I was talking to an autistic woman today, but it turned out she was just Russian.
The first kid and the last kid are the ends of the loaf.
Burnt, bequeathed crumbs, and busted smoking in the toaster.
Burnt, bequeathed crumbs, and busted smoking in the toaster.
January 22, 2026 at 3:05 PM
The first kid and the last kid are the ends of the loaf.
Burnt, bequeathed crumbs, and busted smoking in the toaster.
Burnt, bequeathed crumbs, and busted smoking in the toaster.
Why does every novel have to end on the lamest line imaginable? You've just devoted hours, many nights, to this writer's vision, and the last page is like an old air mattress at 6am. Maybe it's because I'm a voice actor, I think about the gravitas of the final words, how they should linger in you.
January 18, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Why does every novel have to end on the lamest line imaginable? You've just devoted hours, many nights, to this writer's vision, and the last page is like an old air mattress at 6am. Maybe it's because I'm a voice actor, I think about the gravitas of the final words, how they should linger in you.
Reposted by Ingrid Elkner
responding to the babadook like when my cat won't stop meowing. ok yep i hear ya dude. but you have to indicate what you want from me or i can't help. alright buddy? wanna sit out on the porch? i don't know what baba dook dook dook means man. it seems to mean lots of different stuff. you have food,
January 18, 2026 at 12:13 AM
responding to the babadook like when my cat won't stop meowing. ok yep i hear ya dude. but you have to indicate what you want from me or i can't help. alright buddy? wanna sit out on the porch? i don't know what baba dook dook dook means man. it seems to mean lots of different stuff. you have food,
When a baby squeezes out through the birth canal, it's skeleton can spread wide for the first time, and it's just like a butterfly leaving its chrysalis.
January 18, 2026 at 6:14 AM
When a baby squeezes out through the birth canal, it's skeleton can spread wide for the first time, and it's just like a butterfly leaving its chrysalis.
Learning the fashion that has defined the 2020s is *athleisure* makes me and my rods and cones sad. Workout clothes are a sign of hope and movement but they're worn by people who don't move. How did we go from people looking chic as fuck in 1940s war time to elasticated Lexapro in 2020s peace time?
January 18, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Learning the fashion that has defined the 2020s is *athleisure* makes me and my rods and cones sad. Workout clothes are a sign of hope and movement but they're worn by people who don't move. How did we go from people looking chic as fuck in 1940s war time to elasticated Lexapro in 2020s peace time?
Okay, I'm sick of seeing your 2016. Show me your 2036.
January 17, 2026 at 7:19 PM
Okay, I'm sick of seeing your 2016. Show me your 2036.
Anyone want to come rage against the dying of the light with me?
January 17, 2026 at 1:28 PM
Anyone want to come rage against the dying of the light with me?
I am going to need women to stop fucking horrible men and raising horrible sons. World can't have higher standards if individuals won't have higher standards.
Our Earth is a casual nightmarescape and none of it needs to be like this.
Our Earth is a casual nightmarescape and none of it needs to be like this.
January 12, 2026 at 10:37 AM
I am going to need women to stop fucking horrible men and raising horrible sons. World can't have higher standards if individuals won't have higher standards.
Our Earth is a casual nightmarescape and none of it needs to be like this.
Our Earth is a casual nightmarescape and none of it needs to be like this.
In a job listing for female ICE jobs, a commenter asked if that is not discrimination.
January 11, 2026 at 4:33 AM
In a job listing for female ICE jobs, a commenter asked if that is not discrimination.
"If the A.I. has reason, then it won't be able to do what the humans can do, because we're not reasonable.
All the breakthroughs come from what's not reasonable, or what's not supposed to work.
It's figuring out the thing that can't be done, and allowing it to be done."
-Rick Rubin
All the breakthroughs come from what's not reasonable, or what's not supposed to work.
It's figuring out the thing that can't be done, and allowing it to be done."
-Rick Rubin
January 9, 2026 at 4:49 AM
"If the A.I. has reason, then it won't be able to do what the humans can do, because we're not reasonable.
All the breakthroughs come from what's not reasonable, or what's not supposed to work.
It's figuring out the thing that can't be done, and allowing it to be done."
-Rick Rubin
All the breakthroughs come from what's not reasonable, or what's not supposed to work.
It's figuring out the thing that can't be done, and allowing it to be done."
-Rick Rubin
"There's no such thing as writer's block - only input and output periods. And your brain does a pretty decent job of telling you which one you're in."
-Aimee Allen (songwriter - Espresso, Please Please Please), quoting a college poetry teacher
-Aimee Allen (songwriter - Espresso, Please Please Please), quoting a college poetry teacher
January 7, 2026 at 3:46 AM
"There's no such thing as writer's block - only input and output periods. And your brain does a pretty decent job of telling you which one you're in."
-Aimee Allen (songwriter - Espresso, Please Please Please), quoting a college poetry teacher
-Aimee Allen (songwriter - Espresso, Please Please Please), quoting a college poetry teacher
How I sleep knowing how I sleep
January 4, 2026 at 6:51 AM
How I sleep knowing how I sleep
This Golden Gaytime is all golden and no gaytime.
Childhood RUINED.
Childhood RUINED.
January 3, 2026 at 4:29 PM
This Golden Gaytime is all golden and no gaytime.
Childhood RUINED.
Childhood RUINED.
Tell me I'm wrong
January 2, 2026 at 6:44 AM
Tell me I'm wrong
Dreamed I was shooting up heroin all night long. Boy are my arms tired.
January 2, 2026 at 3:53 AM
Dreamed I was shooting up heroin all night long. Boy are my arms tired.
Guy meets me at a bar and tells me he loves me fifty times in one night - ex could only say it once in two years.
I'm not kidding - this dude said it about fifty times.
He also said he has oral herpes, so, ya know... quantity over quality.
I'm not kidding - this dude said it about fifty times.
He also said he has oral herpes, so, ya know... quantity over quality.
January 1, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Guy meets me at a bar and tells me he loves me fifty times in one night - ex could only say it once in two years.
I'm not kidding - this dude said it about fifty times.
He also said he has oral herpes, so, ya know... quantity over quality.
I'm not kidding - this dude said it about fifty times.
He also said he has oral herpes, so, ya know... quantity over quality.
Some guy accused me of using auto-tune on a live singing video, which is actually a compliment.
December 29, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Some guy accused me of using auto-tune on a live singing video, which is actually a compliment.
Sarah Muchelle Gellar's sister in I Know What You Did Last Summer is a malignant narcissist, and Anne Heche's character is a logical, normal person.
Funny how we were primed by films as teens and see through a very different lens now.
Funny how we were primed by films as teens and see through a very different lens now.
December 28, 2025 at 9:25 AM
Sarah Muchelle Gellar's sister in I Know What You Did Last Summer is a malignant narcissist, and Anne Heche's character is a logical, normal person.
Funny how we were primed by films as teens and see through a very different lens now.
Funny how we were primed by films as teens and see through a very different lens now.
The only sports people compete in these days are the Gym Pics Olympics
December 27, 2025 at 4:51 PM
The only sports people compete in these days are the Gym Pics Olympics
Being a kid in the '80s: "I can't leave the table until I eat this cooked animal organ meat or I'll get the belt."
Being a kid in the 2020s: "Shut up, bitchmom - my McDonald's points, my mouth, my rules."
Being a kid in the 2020s: "Shut up, bitchmom - my McDonald's points, my mouth, my rules."
December 25, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Being a kid in the '80s: "I can't leave the table until I eat this cooked animal organ meat or I'll get the belt."
Being a kid in the 2020s: "Shut up, bitchmom - my McDonald's points, my mouth, my rules."
Being a kid in the 2020s: "Shut up, bitchmom - my McDonald's points, my mouth, my rules."
When the Chaplin/Hitler moustache finally comes back in fashion, and 22yo guys are walking around with one on their face, how are we supposed to know if they are emulating Chaplin or emulating Hitler? It's Schrödinger's moustache.
December 25, 2025 at 2:36 PM
When the Chaplin/Hitler moustache finally comes back in fashion, and 22yo guys are walking around with one on their face, how are we supposed to know if they are emulating Chaplin or emulating Hitler? It's Schrödinger's moustache.
The human female body preparing for pregnancy 13 times a year should be illegal. There needs to be an opt-out, like when you refuse cookies. Hello ovaries, your work is no longer needed, never was, you are being retired. Take your gold watch and fuck off. Nature is bad with consent.
December 23, 2025 at 9:01 AM
The human female body preparing for pregnancy 13 times a year should be illegal. There needs to be an opt-out, like when you refuse cookies. Hello ovaries, your work is no longer needed, never was, you are being retired. Take your gold watch and fuck off. Nature is bad with consent.
The price of travelling to Australia has gone up - you used to be able to get here with a loaf of bread. And you didn't even need to pay for the bread!
#penalinflation
#penalinflation
December 22, 2025 at 4:39 PM
The price of travelling to Australia has gone up - you used to be able to get here with a loaf of bread. And you didn't even need to pay for the bread!
#penalinflation
#penalinflation