Chris Scott
@iamchrisscott.bsky.social
ClickHole contributor. Writer. Person. An actual human being. In DC. chrisscottwrites.com
People don’t want to hear this but the secret to a perfect pumpkin pie is to bake and puree the pumpkin yourself, not use canned pumpkin. If you don’t possess the discipline and tenacity for this, you shouldn’t be baking. You shouldn’t even be celebrating Thanksgiving at all.
November 27, 2025 at 3:30 PM
People don’t want to hear this but the secret to a perfect pumpkin pie is to bake and puree the pumpkin yourself, not use canned pumpkin. If you don’t possess the discipline and tenacity for this, you shouldn’t be baking. You shouldn’t even be celebrating Thanksgiving at all.
It simply cannot be underscored strongly enough, this was all for *this guy*
November 26, 2025 at 11:17 PM
It simply cannot be underscored strongly enough, this was all for *this guy*
Happy adoptiversary Waldo! Thank you for seven amazing years.
November 26, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Happy adoptiversary Waldo! Thank you for seven amazing years.
National Guard are still in DC by the way. I see them every time I’m on U Street. Lincoln Park daily. I counted over a dozen on Barracks Row Saturday night. In response to this ongoing affront to justice and democracy, the Washington Post editorial board has taken a firm stance against hand dryers.
November 25, 2025 at 9:20 PM
National Guard are still in DC by the way. I see them every time I’m on U Street. Lincoln Park daily. I counted over a dozen on Barracks Row Saturday night. In response to this ongoing affront to justice and democracy, the Washington Post editorial board has taken a firm stance against hand dryers.
Do you think one of them didn’t want to be an astronaut and the other one bullied him into it
November 25, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Do you think one of them didn’t want to be an astronaut and the other one bullied him into it
Having learned my lesson 9ish years ago about wishing someone who has no chance of winning runs for president, just want to make sure the universe understands this is bad and I don’t want it to happen. I don’t want her to run for president. It’s not good and I emphatically hope it doesn‘t occur. Ok?
November 23, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Having learned my lesson 9ish years ago about wishing someone who has no chance of winning runs for president, just want to make sure the universe understands this is bad and I don’t want it to happen. I don’t want her to run for president. It’s not good and I emphatically hope it doesn‘t occur. Ok?
Waldo and Joyce Carol Oates
November 20, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Waldo and Joyce Carol Oates
Look at these sweet potatoes my students grew
November 19, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Look at these sweet potatoes my students grew
I have the perfect pet. I love him. His name is Waldo.
November 19, 2025 at 2:50 AM
I have the perfect pet. I love him. His name is Waldo.
Hard to explain anything to your child when they’re 15 feet from you
November 16, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Hard to explain anything to your child when they’re 15 feet from you
“Green grass turns brown when it begins to rot” dude is fully on some Chauncey Gardiner shit now
November 15, 2025 at 6:02 PM
“Green grass turns brown when it begins to rot” dude is fully on some Chauncey Gardiner shit now
Just finished and *loved* @johnchrostek.com's brilliant cosmic horror epic Feast of the Pale Leviathan, and I'm a little (a lot) jealous of his beautiful imagination. Wild ride from start to finish. Check it out: deepoverstock.com/product/feas...
November 15, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Just finished and *loved* @johnchrostek.com's brilliant cosmic horror epic Feast of the Pale Leviathan, and I'm a little (a lot) jealous of his beautiful imagination. Wild ride from start to finish. Check it out: deepoverstock.com/product/feas...
First time writing the word “caution” on a finite surface. How’d I do?
November 14, 2025 at 7:02 PM
First time writing the word “caution” on a finite surface. How’d I do?
Same day! Who’s asking for this? Who is watching this trash?
November 12, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Same day! Who’s asking for this? Who is watching this trash?
This shit is the worst thing that’s happened to horror in 30 years. I cannot understand the psychology of horror fans who get excited about this stuff. There’s like 5 of these coming out every week now.
November 12, 2025 at 12:33 AM
This shit is the worst thing that’s happened to horror in 30 years. I cannot understand the psychology of horror fans who get excited about this stuff. There’s like 5 of these coming out every week now.
Classing up all the traffic cones in my neighborhood by painting them black
November 10, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Classing up all the traffic cones in my neighborhood by painting them black
I worry this sweet little swallowtail caterpillar isn’t going to make it past the coming freeze. Life can be beautiful but also so fragile. If any of you are friends with my exes please show them this post so they can see how much I’ve grown emotionally in the past 15ish years.
November 7, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I worry this sweet little swallowtail caterpillar isn’t going to make it past the coming freeze. Life can be beautiful but also so fragile. If any of you are friends with my exes please show them this post so they can see how much I’ve grown emotionally in the past 15ish years.
A remarkable city honestly
November 6, 2025 at 6:22 PM
A remarkable city honestly
Oh look it’s @lukeoneil47.bsky.social mansplaining at us 🙄
November 6, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Oh look it’s @lukeoneil47.bsky.social mansplaining at us 🙄
Read and loved @lukeoneil47.bsky.social’s excellent new book We Had It Coming. Stories that twist the knife while simultaneously supplying the tourniquet. My pet rabbit Waldo also liked it.
October 31, 2025 at 8:07 PM
Read and loved @lukeoneil47.bsky.social’s excellent new book We Had It Coming. Stories that twist the knife while simultaneously supplying the tourniquet. My pet rabbit Waldo also liked it.
Excited to unveil the 2025 Thome-lantern, in honor of hometown hero and pride of Central Illinois, Jim Thome. 22 incredible seasons, 5 All Star game appearances, 612 career home runs. Happy Halloween, Jim.
October 30, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Excited to unveil the 2025 Thome-lantern, in honor of hometown hero and pride of Central Illinois, Jim Thome. 22 incredible seasons, 5 All Star game appearances, 612 career home runs. Happy Halloween, Jim.
Tom Tiffany. Tim Michele.
October 29, 2025 at 11:29 PM
Tom Tiffany. Tim Michele.