I've had an old man offer me money to sniff my farts. These folks be FREAKY

You know ball

Yeah we share a house (group home) so unfortunately I can't get rid of her

Girl I was 911 HOT. And didn't even fucking store the bird right, just put it back in the fridge open and all

Girl that bitch cut up the RAW TURKEY because she wanted to make turkey wings. Then gone have the nerve to say "you can roast the rest of it," God himself had to stop me from laying hands and feet on that old heaux

Girl I'm still hot about what my roommate did to last year's turkey, so I ain't making one lol

Gone slide it in the fridge so it can thaw by Thursday.

I could live my entire life without cupcakes

Thank y'all, lemme gone light this Newport and start this fire

I ordered it, but the driver is taking years to fucking get here like I didn't tip. I TIPPED YOU 35% EMILY

Not too much on me

Aint no him, it's me 😭

Naw cause don't pmo