PFM on break!
After some thought, since both @josefschwem.com and I got a lot going on in December, we're going to take a longer break from updating. We'll likely be back early January. Happy Holidays!
After some thought, since both @josefschwem.com and I got a lot going on in December, we're going to take a longer break from updating. We'll likely be back early January. Happy Holidays!
December 1, 2025 at 4:20 AM
PFM on break!
After some thought, since both @josefschwem.com and I got a lot going on in December, we're going to take a longer break from updating. We'll likely be back early January. Happy Holidays!
After some thought, since both @josefschwem.com and I got a lot going on in December, we're going to take a longer break from updating. We'll likely be back early January. Happy Holidays!
Hi folks. There won't be any PFM updates this coming week. We'll do our best to be back 12/8. I came down with a cold and feel like doodoo.
November 29, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Hi folks. There won't be any PFM updates this coming week. We'll do our best to be back 12/8. I came down with a cold and feel like doodoo.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
Turkey Day accomplished. Now I just gotta lay here and think of something mildly funny to type in this tweet.
Turkey Day accomplished. Now I just gotta lay here and think of something mildly funny to type in this tweet.
November 28, 2025 at 6:04 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
Turkey Day accomplished. Now I just gotta lay here and think of something mildly funny to type in this tweet.
Turkey Day accomplished. Now I just gotta lay here and think of something mildly funny to type in this tweet.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
So you're telling me that if I met Better Call Saul in real life, he not only wouldn't be able to save me in court, but his name is actually Bob Odenkirk? What a sick joke!
So you're telling me that if I met Better Call Saul in real life, he not only wouldn't be able to save me in court, but his name is actually Bob Odenkirk? What a sick joke!
November 26, 2025 at 5:03 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
So you're telling me that if I met Better Call Saul in real life, he not only wouldn't be able to save me in court, but his name is actually Bob Odenkirk? What a sick joke!
So you're telling me that if I met Better Call Saul in real life, he not only wouldn't be able to save me in court, but his name is actually Bob Odenkirk? What a sick joke!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
In case you didn't know, there is sludge everywhere that's completely free! Sludge of all kinds!
In case you didn't know, there is sludge everywhere that's completely free! Sludge of all kinds!
November 24, 2025 at 3:52 PM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
In case you didn't know, there is sludge everywhere that's completely free! Sludge of all kinds!
In case you didn't know, there is sludge everywhere that's completely free! Sludge of all kinds!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
I don't think anyone should be allowed to throw food away, ever, for any reason. I don't think it should be eaten either. I'm like a vegan but the next level of that.
I don't think anyone should be allowed to throw food away, ever, for any reason. I don't think it should be eaten either. I'm like a vegan but the next level of that.
November 21, 2025 at 8:48 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
I don't think anyone should be allowed to throw food away, ever, for any reason. I don't think it should be eaten either. I'm like a vegan but the next level of that.
I don't think anyone should be allowed to throw food away, ever, for any reason. I don't think it should be eaten either. I'm like a vegan but the next level of that.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
Trying to grow a beard on my fingernails. It just seems like the most unsettling thing I can do and I'm trying to get fired from my job as a normal guy doing regular stuff.
Trying to grow a beard on my fingernails. It just seems like the most unsettling thing I can do and I'm trying to get fired from my job as a normal guy doing regular stuff.
November 19, 2025 at 6:26 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
Trying to grow a beard on my fingernails. It just seems like the most unsettling thing I can do and I'm trying to get fired from my job as a normal guy doing regular stuff.
Trying to grow a beard on my fingernails. It just seems like the most unsettling thing I can do and I'm trying to get fired from my job as a normal guy doing regular stuff.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
Recently I have been fantasizing about becoming a competitive eater. Do they have prizes for how much you enjoy a meal? I'd dominate screaming "YUMMY" after eating a crunchy taco.
Recently I have been fantasizing about becoming a competitive eater. Do they have prizes for how much you enjoy a meal? I'd dominate screaming "YUMMY" after eating a crunchy taco.
November 14, 2025 at 5:27 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
Recently I have been fantasizing about becoming a competitive eater. Do they have prizes for how much you enjoy a meal? I'd dominate screaming "YUMMY" after eating a crunchy taco.
Recently I have been fantasizing about becoming a competitive eater. Do they have prizes for how much you enjoy a meal? I'd dominate screaming "YUMMY" after eating a crunchy taco.
What if in The Scent of a Woman, instead of trying to kill himself, Al Pacino was constantly threatening to shoot himself in the penis with a revolver and Chris O'Donnell was trying to prevent this and get him to not be so grouchy. Wait, I feel like I've already come up with this idea.
November 13, 2025 at 1:50 AM
What if in The Scent of a Woman, instead of trying to kill himself, Al Pacino was constantly threatening to shoot himself in the penis with a revolver and Chris O'Donnell was trying to prevent this and get him to not be so grouchy. Wait, I feel like I've already come up with this idea.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
If growing up wasn't necessary, would you choose to stay small and young? What if you still got smarter and stronger but had a little kid body. Imagine knocking out a full grown man with a little kid fist. Seems stupid to me. I'd grow up like normal.
If growing up wasn't necessary, would you choose to stay small and young? What if you still got smarter and stronger but had a little kid body. Imagine knocking out a full grown man with a little kid fist. Seems stupid to me. I'd grow up like normal.
November 12, 2025 at 5:41 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
If growing up wasn't necessary, would you choose to stay small and young? What if you still got smarter and stronger but had a little kid body. Imagine knocking out a full grown man with a little kid fist. Seems stupid to me. I'd grow up like normal.
If growing up wasn't necessary, would you choose to stay small and young? What if you still got smarter and stronger but had a little kid body. Imagine knocking out a full grown man with a little kid fist. Seems stupid to me. I'd grow up like normal.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
When I was a little kid and saw a chicken for the first time i lost my mind. Such a funny animal.
When I was a little kid and saw a chicken for the first time i lost my mind. Such a funny animal.
November 10, 2025 at 8:23 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
When I was a little kid and saw a chicken for the first time i lost my mind. Such a funny animal.
When I was a little kid and saw a chicken for the first time i lost my mind. Such a funny animal.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
There should be a holiday celebrating the life of the guy who first discovered the banana. Just think for a second about how great those things are.
There should be a holiday celebrating the life of the guy who first discovered the banana. Just think for a second about how great those things are.
November 7, 2025 at 9:06 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
There should be a holiday celebrating the life of the guy who first discovered the banana. Just think for a second about how great those things are.
There should be a holiday celebrating the life of the guy who first discovered the banana. Just think for a second about how great those things are.
I call this meal "My Own Personal Hell."
November 6, 2025 at 10:58 PM
I call this meal "My Own Personal Hell."
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
After much consideration, I think it should be illegal for really tasty, high-calorie food to make you gain weight if eaten in massive quantities. I just spent a month not eating potato chips and HATED it. Jk it was okay. :)
After much consideration, I think it should be illegal for really tasty, high-calorie food to make you gain weight if eaten in massive quantities. I just spent a month not eating potato chips and HATED it. Jk it was okay. :)
November 5, 2025 at 6:14 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
After much consideration, I think it should be illegal for really tasty, high-calorie food to make you gain weight if eaten in massive quantities. I just spent a month not eating potato chips and HATED it. Jk it was okay. :)
After much consideration, I think it should be illegal for really tasty, high-calorie food to make you gain weight if eaten in massive quantities. I just spent a month not eating potato chips and HATED it. Jk it was okay. :)
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
For the first time in my life, I ate a ghost. Now I'm sometimes controlled by the regrets of this dead dude but it was still cool.
For the first time in my life, I ate a ghost. Now I'm sometimes controlled by the regrets of this dead dude but it was still cool.
November 3, 2025 at 5:28 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
For the first time in my life, I ate a ghost. Now I'm sometimes controlled by the regrets of this dead dude but it was still cool.
For the first time in my life, I ate a ghost. Now I'm sometimes controlled by the regrets of this dead dude but it was still cool.
The Stupid Adventures of Ally & Pasqualo: "Start Wreck"
October 31, 2025 at 2:03 AM
The Stupid Adventures of Ally & Pasqualo: "Start Wreck"
The only thing I've been tempted to use AI for is to change the Solozzo murder scene in The Godfather to instead make Michael Corleone stand up and shoot himself in the penis. But no, not even for that will I stoop so low. I'll just do the ethical thing and hire Al Pacino.
October 29, 2025 at 11:10 PM
The only thing I've been tempted to use AI for is to change the Solozzo murder scene in The Godfather to instead make Michael Corleone stand up and shoot himself in the penis. But no, not even for that will I stoop so low. I'll just do the ethical thing and hire Al Pacino.
Apologies! There will be no PFM updates next week. There'll be one Friday though!
October 23, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Apologies! There will be no PFM updates next week. There'll be one Friday though!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
Bologna sandwich experts agree: two slices bologna, one slice cheese, one slice mustard, optional slice lettuce, three slice white bread, one slice of potato chips for crispiness
Bologna sandwich experts agree: two slices bologna, one slice cheese, one slice mustard, optional slice lettuce, three slice white bread, one slice of potato chips for crispiness
October 22, 2025 at 2:47 PM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
Bologna sandwich experts agree: two slices bologna, one slice cheese, one slice mustard, optional slice lettuce, three slice white bread, one slice of potato chips for crispiness
Bologna sandwich experts agree: two slices bologna, one slice cheese, one slice mustard, optional slice lettuce, three slice white bread, one slice of potato chips for crispiness
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
I've been trying to develop big forehead cream to make big foreheads even bigger, but all I could come up with is something to make your brain smarter. Darn. Maybe I should use some of this stuff to come up with the forehead cream. Big forehead cream. Sorry.
I've been trying to develop big forehead cream to make big foreheads even bigger, but all I could come up with is something to make your brain smarter. Darn. Maybe I should use some of this stuff to come up with the forehead cream. Big forehead cream. Sorry.
October 20, 2025 at 4:16 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
I've been trying to develop big forehead cream to make big foreheads even bigger, but all I could come up with is something to make your brain smarter. Darn. Maybe I should use some of this stuff to come up with the forehead cream. Big forehead cream. Sorry.
I've been trying to develop big forehead cream to make big foreheads even bigger, but all I could come up with is something to make your brain smarter. Darn. Maybe I should use some of this stuff to come up with the forehead cream. Big forehead cream. Sorry.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
After careful consideration, I am finally uninstalling the internet. I just don't want the internet on my computer anymore. It's stupid and I hate it. It's ok that it's on my phone though. I got one o them stupid phones.
After careful consideration, I am finally uninstalling the internet. I just don't want the internet on my computer anymore. It's stupid and I hate it. It's ok that it's on my phone though. I got one o them stupid phones.
October 17, 2025 at 4:30 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
After careful consideration, I am finally uninstalling the internet. I just don't want the internet on my computer anymore. It's stupid and I hate it. It's ok that it's on my phone though. I got one o them stupid phones.
After careful consideration, I am finally uninstalling the internet. I just don't want the internet on my computer anymore. It's stupid and I hate it. It's ok that it's on my phone though. I got one o them stupid phones.
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
Time for me to invest in eggs. I've been putting it off for years. I could eventually make a billion considering we're still trying to find that goose that lays golden ones. honk
Time for me to invest in eggs. I've been putting it off for years. I could eventually make a billion considering we're still trying to find that goose that lays golden ones. honk
October 15, 2025 at 3:10 PM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
Time for me to invest in eggs. I've been putting it off for years. I could eventually make a billion considering we're still trying to find that goose that lays golden ones. honk
Time for me to invest in eggs. I've been putting it off for years. I could eventually make a billion considering we're still trying to find that goose that lays golden ones. honk
OH!
Well, I checked my sketch and it turns out I didn't even finish the shirt there, but I think I meant it to be something like "KILL TERRORISTS" (referring to the pinewolves).
Well, I checked my sketch and it turns out I didn't even finish the shirt there, but I think I meant it to be something like "KILL TERRORISTS" (referring to the pinewolves).
October 12, 2025 at 4:27 AM
OH!
Well, I checked my sketch and it turns out I didn't even finish the shirt there, but I think I meant it to be something like "KILL TERRORISTS" (referring to the pinewolves).
Well, I checked my sketch and it turns out I didn't even finish the shirt there, but I think I meant it to be something like "KILL TERRORISTS" (referring to the pinewolves).
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
If I could freeze time, I wouldn't rob banks or anything like that. Honestly, I'd just take long naps. Maybe I'd walk across the country to get a slice of pizza too, but mainly I'd sleep.
If I could freeze time, I wouldn't rob banks or anything like that. Honestly, I'd just take long naps. Maybe I'd walk across the country to get a slice of pizza too, but mainly I'd sleep.
October 10, 2025 at 8:00 AM
PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!
If I could freeze time, I wouldn't rob banks or anything like that. Honestly, I'd just take long naps. Maybe I'd walk across the country to get a slice of pizza too, but mainly I'd sleep.
If I could freeze time, I wouldn't rob banks or anything like that. Honestly, I'd just take long naps. Maybe I'd walk across the country to get a slice of pizza too, but mainly I'd sleep.