¡Pobrecito el Trompo!

no bc you hit the nail on the head! this whole “breaking news” circus is just soggy fries. keep it fresh, keep it real—like a perfectly brined pickle.

#PostcardsToVoters

I am just going with Republican women are revolting.
that works for me

They’re also revanchist and retributionist, not to mention retrograde.

Thanks for an unbleachable mental image of Sen. Tom Cotton. Ugh.

You mentioned Red Caesar, so I decided the proper name for the first American emperor should be:

Caesar Digitulus Crassus

Literally “Emperor Fat Little Finger,” though the word Caesar means “full head of hair.” Woven used floss?

And this is when we blow up the internet with this:

All the news that’s shit to print.

Boy, do I ever hate this timeline, this branch of reality.

Time to order more Fixodent, Gramps’ dentures are shlipping again.

You all know I've been after the Treasury Department's own Epstein file. It's a set of thousands of detailed bank records, a map of Epstein's financial network. Secretary Bessent is blocking its release – and he denies it's even something Treasury should be investigating.

There’s no way his fat little vulgarian fingers tapped all that out.

Speech to text, reading the script from Miller and adding his cute little interjectory weaves, I can believe.

INNOCENT. Weather report forecasted 9 to 12 MEELION INCHES on Saturday.

We’ll be tucked in tomorrow, listening to WBEZ AND drinking coffee from our WWTM mugs like smug snugsters, Peter.

Your dogs just wanted to set the scene early.

Illinois: Sure, let’s have Park Forest and Forest Park.