December 11, 12, 13 & 14

Getting today out of the way early last night was an alcohol binge and this morning I recovery binged like 2k in breakfast. Me and my demons be like

December 10

My doctor added an iron supplement so fingers crossed that helps, and I just narrowly stayed under another 1.4k day

Day 10: the hardest thing I’ve given up during weight loss

My formative years I started purging in the school bathrooms at 11, missed out on lunches and passing periods and choir. I stayed in sports I hated in hopes of shrinking smaller. Gave up doing anything I actually liked and lost the true me

Day 9: did people make negative comments on your weight?

Yea and no. I was told by doctors to lose weight (at 160lbs) and my cheer coach would call my flabby. But overall everyone thought I was curvy and thicc in build. My mom loves commenting on my weight, but I don’t think it’s meant to be mean

December 9th

I’m adding a new rule I’m only allowed fucking 8 reindeer on this chart because if I eat more than Santa’s sleigh I will kms

December 8th

Fucking pleb, eating like I don’t even have an ED

Dancing
•I dance to all types of music ALL THE TIME
• dance in the kitchen and around the house
• dance when you brunch your teeth
•make it social, you can go out a lot of places just to dance with your friends, no one will question the water over alcohol too hard
• just move your body and have fun

Walking
• minimum 10k a day, aiming between 15-20k
•stairs are MANDATORY, a minimum of 10 flights a day
•I walk fast, like minimum of 3mph, fuck a leisurely stroll
•don’t forget to keep moving, walk when you don’t have to, like pacing in the phone

Yoga
• slow fluid movements are key
• follow and move with your breath
• alternate between positions you hold/rock in/move through
• always end with cat cow, downward dog and laughing baby poses

Day 8: workout routine

Oh how I love my yoga and walking. I love dancing as well, I can’t really work out due to a heart condition but I keep my body moving constantly!

Day 6: Do my parents know about me trying to lose weight and do they care?

Ahhhhh, kinda? My mom has always been competitive about weight and weight loss with me so she knows because she’s almost more conscious of my body than me, she’s excited I’m getting small. My grandmas can see, 1’s concerned

December 7th

Not pictured 227kcal of purple cow ice cream from the binge of mostly Taco Bell

And I oop

I wish I could still love you but there’s this darkness that looms over the past and it’s all my fault so just let me make you food and learn how your life has come about and let me support you in the ways I can with my new love in my new life just please be apart of it.

I used to love you but now I just crave your presence like this nostalgic blanket I can cocoon inside and curl up and suckle my thumb like the child I truly am in my soul, the child that’s only allowed to be free when I hear your voice.

Day 6: Do I binge?

Yes, unfortunately. I don’t base it on a total caloric amount, just the loss of control over the eating a high amount or volume of food. And I do lose control sometimes, gorging myself until I feel sick to my stomach.

December 6

The junkorexia is loud with this one.