[He can outrun his gay thoughts. He is so fast]

[He frowns. This is a terrible dilemma that he's not really going to find a good solution to, isn't it? Perhaps there's a secret third thing he can do...]

[He suddenly turns around and books it]

If it's lambing season he might be out there helping deliver one right now, I dun wantae distract him from that

Well I cannae do that now! He's busy fer sure!

[He refuses to say he's nervous to talk to him]

[Genuinely giggling like a kid who just heard their crush wants to hang out with them. Except of course it's a grown alcoholic man about his ex husband]

Lordt if he would, that'd be grand. I missed him too. More'n me words can say fer sure

[Upon hearing that name, his brain immediately drops the topic of girls. He turns to Alasdair and looks up at his with big, sparkling, excited eyes. You can practically see a puppydog tail wagging a mile a minute behind him]

Oh?! What'd he say?

Maybe them hoity-toity rich girls in LA fight badly but fuck have ye seen them clips from the normal parts? I ain't never seen a lass whale on another like that even on me drunkest nights at the pub here

I ain't said nothin like that, I dun fear em whatsoever. But hell, if they're stronger'n me that's fair feckin play. I wouldn't even be mad, I'd be pure impressed

...Admittedly when I do end up there I usually ain't lookin at their lips.

I cannae help it though! I'm a wee man an all the women are wonderfully gigantic

Eh, LA feels different. I think it's the beach combined wit the plastic-ness o' the movie business. Plus that horrific standard o' living gap I just said

I know, I know. But at least it's entertaining. One block ye got people strung out an shitting openly on the corner, the next ye got houses wit marble statues in front. Say less o' the museums an fancy clubs

...yer people dun make ye go out fer yer team's morale?

I'll level wit ye lad, I really dun wantae go to Los Angeles

They're darlin'! Hopefully they'll settle enough fer me to see em proper in person, though I know a blurry dug is a happy dug

[He's so excited! Santiago is visiting and he has enough notice to plan a nice time! And he gets to be around more dogs!!]

I'll see ye soon then, aye!

Aye, I can bring em over or ye can come to me house sometime! Ye can bring yer dugs too so they can play together! They're rather old but they did pretty good when I was watching puppies along wit em. They were kinda like granpas that fall asleep in their chairs at Christmas hehe

He came wit the name Kenan but he responds to Man better so I'm just calling him that now. Kenneth is a good boy all the time but Man is a cheeky fucker. Ate me dinner couple days ago. Ken likes to sit out in the garden an watch the bugs

[He rattles all this off in nearly one breath]

I can do ye one better!

[He pulls out his phone and excitedly holds it up. It's the two old dogs he's recently taken in]

This one is Man an this one is Kenneth. I know he's got a pink collar but that's because I thought playing intae "Kenough" was funny an originally Man weren't called that.