Fake Yarra Trams
@fakeyarratrams.bsky.social
The real news from a fake perspective, about tram life in Melbourne. Account also often hijacked by Depot Cat.
Why can I see the bacon but not eat the bacon? What kind of witchcraft is this you foul humans? Hurry up and get this food into me, I’m starving. I haven’t eaten all minute. ~Depot Cat
December 20, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Why can I see the bacon but not eat the bacon? What kind of witchcraft is this you foul humans? Hurry up and get this food into me, I’m starving. I haven’t eaten all minute. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: Rail Grinder No.8
Batman Ave, Melbourne Sept 1973.
These days Fed Square takes up this location, and if you search for Rail Grinder No.8 there, you’ll find many matches of a different kind on the app. We hope you have a good time. #YarraTrams
Batman Ave, Melbourne Sept 1973.
These days Fed Square takes up this location, and if you search for Rail Grinder No.8 there, you’ll find many matches of a different kind on the app. We hope you have a good time. #YarraTrams
December 17, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Rail Grinder No.8
Batman Ave, Melbourne Sept 1973.
These days Fed Square takes up this location, and if you search for Rail Grinder No.8 there, you’ll find many matches of a different kind on the app. We hope you have a good time. #YarraTrams
Batman Ave, Melbourne Sept 1973.
These days Fed Square takes up this location, and if you search for Rail Grinder No.8 there, you’ll find many matches of a different kind on the app. We hope you have a good time. #YarraTrams
With the weather being hot today, I’m going to make so much money selling ice creams. And anyone who complains that they look like something from my kitty litter tray can pay double. I put a lot of work into making those lumps. ~Depot Cat
December 17, 2025 at 8:30 PM
With the weather being hot today, I’m going to make so much money selling ice creams. And anyone who complains that they look like something from my kitty litter tray can pay double. I put a lot of work into making those lumps. ~Depot Cat
Ok human I’ll play your guessing game. It’s obvious there is only one choice for me, I’m the greatest and can’t be fooled by anyone, and I never embarrass myself in any way, shape, or form. Therefore the only choice is myself, I am Depot Cat. Now kebab me for winning. ~Depot Cat
December 13, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Ok human I’ll play your guessing game. It’s obvious there is only one choice for me, I’m the greatest and can’t be fooled by anyone, and I never embarrass myself in any way, shape, or form. Therefore the only choice is myself, I am Depot Cat. Now kebab me for winning. ~Depot Cat
Throwback Thursday: Date unknown, cnr Bourke & Swanston Sts, trams pass by Foy’s department store, displaying a large Santa.
The Santa at some stage came to life and terrorised the city, requiring the services of the Ghostbusters to tame it. #YarraTrams
The Santa at some stage came to life and terrorised the city, requiring the services of the Ghostbusters to tame it. #YarraTrams
December 10, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Date unknown, cnr Bourke & Swanston Sts, trams pass by Foy’s department store, displaying a large Santa.
The Santa at some stage came to life and terrorised the city, requiring the services of the Ghostbusters to tame it. #YarraTrams
The Santa at some stage came to life and terrorised the city, requiring the services of the Ghostbusters to tame it. #YarraTrams
Hey Kids! Come on down to the depot today to have your photo taken with me, Santa Claws. It’s all free thanks to #YarraTrams and the Community Corrections Order slapped on me by the Judge. But that kebab shop had it coming I say, after forgetting the garlic sauce. ~Depot Cat
December 9, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Hey Kids! Come on down to the depot today to have your photo taken with me, Santa Claws. It’s all free thanks to #YarraTrams and the Community Corrections Order slapped on me by the Judge. But that kebab shop had it coming I say, after forgetting the garlic sauce. ~Depot Cat
Hey humans! When wrapping your presents, be sure to check the box for sleeping cats. 8 times this week I’ve been rudely awakened by you lot demanding to know why I’m in your house, and why all your food has been eaten. Be more thoughtful and don’t disturb me. ~Depot Cat
December 6, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Hey humans! When wrapping your presents, be sure to check the box for sleeping cats. 8 times this week I’ve been rudely awakened by you lot demanding to know why I’m in your house, and why all your food has been eaten. Be more thoughtful and don’t disturb me. ~Depot Cat
You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf, well now get ready for Wham on a Tram.
See, #YarraTrams is up with all the new music that is hip and cool. The only squares here daddy-o is the tram square crossings.
See, #YarraTrams is up with all the new music that is hip and cool. The only squares here daddy-o is the tram square crossings.
December 4, 2025 at 9:30 PM
You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf, well now get ready for Wham on a Tram.
See, #YarraTrams is up with all the new music that is hip and cool. The only squares here daddy-o is the tram square crossings.
See, #YarraTrams is up with all the new music that is hip and cool. The only squares here daddy-o is the tram square crossings.
Throwback Thursday: June 24, 1989 SW6.856 running on Glenferrie Road back to Malvern Depot, after dropping off some overnight rentals back to the Video Library, to avoid late fees. #YarraTrams
December 3, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: June 24, 1989 SW6.856 running on Glenferrie Road back to Malvern Depot, after dropping off some overnight rentals back to the Video Library, to avoid late fees. #YarraTrams
Tram services delayed today due to a Christmas tree on the tracks.
At least they will be delayed after I get this thing knocked over any moment now. ~Depot Cat
At least they will be delayed after I get this thing knocked over any moment now. ~Depot Cat
December 1, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Tram services delayed today due to a Christmas tree on the tracks.
At least they will be delayed after I get this thing knocked over any moment now. ~Depot Cat
At least they will be delayed after I get this thing knocked over any moment now. ~Depot Cat
Summer is here, and with snow currently falling on Mount Buller, here at #YarraTrams we’re wondering if this is the start of the “When Hell freezes over”, moment when we have to get around to extending all the tram lines we promised to do?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
December 1, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Summer is here, and with snow currently falling on Mount Buller, here at #YarraTrams we’re wondering if this is the start of the “When Hell freezes over”, moment when we have to get around to extending all the tram lines we promised to do?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
I can’t believe the year is nearly over. So many humans to scratch, so little time left. But I’m too exhausted from all the hard work I’ve done scratching people and trying to fit in 23 hours of sleep a day. Why does life have to be so hard for me? ~Depot Cat
November 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
I can’t believe the year is nearly over. So many humans to scratch, so little time left. But I’m too exhausted from all the hard work I’ve done scratching people and trying to fit in 23 hours of sleep a day. Why does life have to be so hard for me? ~Depot Cat
Looks like we picked the wrong week to relaunch our 2020 venture Yarra Planes. #YarraTrams
November 29, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Looks like we picked the wrong week to relaunch our 2020 venture Yarra Planes. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: In 2011 Auckland NZ opened Dockline loop. W 421, renumbered 258 operating on the 1.5km line, with a bumper crowd (two people) watching the tram pass by what looks like a playground for sheep, and a giant syringe. Kiwis really are a weird mob. #YarraTrams
November 26, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: In 2011 Auckland NZ opened Dockline loop. W 421, renumbered 258 operating on the 1.5km line, with a bumper crowd (two people) watching the tram pass by what looks like a playground for sheep, and a giant syringe. Kiwis really are a weird mob. #YarraTrams
Given the amount of media attention @fakemetrotrains.bsky.social are getting for this passenger display, here at #YarraTrams we have decided to delay the introduction of our new express tram service, running Footscray, University, Carnegie, and Kooyong.
November 25, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Given the amount of media attention @fakemetrotrains.bsky.social are getting for this passenger display, here at #YarraTrams we have decided to delay the introduction of our new express tram service, running Footscray, University, Carnegie, and Kooyong.
Today is National Fairy Bread Day. Free travel for anyone who is smothered in butter and covered in hundreds and thousands. See attached pic for minimal acceptable standard. #YarraTrams
November 23, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Today is National Fairy Bread Day. Free travel for anyone who is smothered in butter and covered in hundreds and thousands. See attached pic for minimal acceptable standard. #YarraTrams
Why did they leave me out of the Perth Test. I’m the greatest cricketer Australia has ever seen, and with my claws ball tampering is a breeze. Silly humans only selecting their own kind. ~Depot Cat
November 22, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Why did they leave me out of the Perth Test. I’m the greatest cricketer Australia has ever seen, and with my claws ball tampering is a breeze. Silly humans only selecting their own kind. ~Depot Cat
Hey Channel 9, let us fix that reporting for you:
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
November 22, 2025 at 9:29 AM
Hey Channel 9, let us fix that reporting for you:
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
“Dashcam footage shows a drongo with no idea of how to drive, or any thought of obeying road laws, attempt to injure many tram passengers. Don’t be like this idiot.” #YarraTrams #BewareTheRhino
Throwback Thursday: Nov 2013, E.6001 on the first day in service, running to Brunswick, on Bourke St at King St. we see the tram being sized hp by a predator (taxi) that will soon attack it with it’s signature move, the sudden u-turn. #YarraTrams 📸@wongms.bsky.social
November 19, 2025 at 9:31 PM
Throwback Thursday: Nov 2013, E.6001 on the first day in service, running to Brunswick, on Bourke St at King St. we see the tram being sized hp by a predator (taxi) that will soon attack it with it’s signature move, the sudden u-turn. #YarraTrams 📸@wongms.bsky.social
How is it my turn to do the dishes again? Look the share house roster clearly shows all my chores have been erased, meaning I don’t have to do them. I also note that “Get Kebabs” is written in on your roster human, so go get kebabs. ~Depot Cat
November 15, 2025 at 1:00 PM
How is it my turn to do the dishes again? Look the share house roster clearly shows all my chores have been erased, meaning I don’t have to do them. I also note that “Get Kebabs” is written in on your roster human, so go get kebabs. ~Depot Cat
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
November 14, 2025 at 4:21 AM
Friday, Friday! I’m zoning out on Friday. Something something kebabs, blah blah blah blah weekend. ~Depot Cat
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
November 13, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Due to a growing number of vehicles colliding with trams, we’re introducing increased safety measures, by adding pool noodles to the sides of all trams.
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
If you make contact with a pool noodles, you won’t be allowed to go on the waterslide when it opens in 15 minutes. #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
November 12, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Freshly launched Z1.3 passing under Clifton Hill rail bridge in 1975. A Tait train passes overhead, at the point made famous these days by the recent @fakemetrotrains derailment.
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
November 12, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Not many humans know this, but AC⚡️DC is an acronym for Always Cute Depot Cat. The lightning bolt is actually a scratch for anyone who questions my facts. ~Depot Cat
This new kitty litter tray you got me human is rather on the small side. But credit where credit is due, it does keep my bottom toasty warm for hours on a night like this. ~Depot Cat
November 8, 2025 at 1:00 PM
This new kitty litter tray you got me human is rather on the small side. But credit where credit is due, it does keep my bottom toasty warm for hours on a night like this. ~Depot Cat