Fake Yarra Trams
@fakeyarratrams.bsky.social
The real news from a fake perspective, about tram life in Melbourne. Account also often hijacked by Depot Cat.
Why can I see the bacon but not eat the bacon? What kind of witchcraft is this you foul humans? Hurry up and get this food into me, I’m starving. I haven’t eaten all minute. ~Depot Cat
December 20, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Why can I see the bacon but not eat the bacon? What kind of witchcraft is this you foul humans? Hurry up and get this food into me, I’m starving. I haven’t eaten all minute. ~Depot Cat
In 2026 #YarraTrams is proud to be launching a new premium timetable for all your travel needs and beyond. To access it simply purchase a Battle Pass and look for our spicy content on Only Trams.
December 18, 2025 at 9:30 PM
In 2026 #YarraTrams is proud to be launching a new premium timetable for all your travel needs and beyond. To access it simply purchase a Battle Pass and look for our spicy content on Only Trams.
Throwback Thursday: Rail Grinder No.8
Batman Ave, Melbourne Sept 1973.
These days Fed Square takes up this location, and if you search for Rail Grinder No.8 there, you’ll find many matches of a different kind on the app. We hope you have a good time. #YarraTrams
Batman Ave, Melbourne Sept 1973.
These days Fed Square takes up this location, and if you search for Rail Grinder No.8 there, you’ll find many matches of a different kind on the app. We hope you have a good time. #YarraTrams
December 17, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Rail Grinder No.8
Batman Ave, Melbourne Sept 1973.
These days Fed Square takes up this location, and if you search for Rail Grinder No.8 there, you’ll find many matches of a different kind on the app. We hope you have a good time. #YarraTrams
Batman Ave, Melbourne Sept 1973.
These days Fed Square takes up this location, and if you search for Rail Grinder No.8 there, you’ll find many matches of a different kind on the app. We hope you have a good time. #YarraTrams
With the weather being hot today, I’m going to make so much money selling ice creams. And anyone who complains that they look like something from my kitty litter tray can pay double. I put a lot of work into making those lumps. ~Depot Cat
December 17, 2025 at 8:30 PM
With the weather being hot today, I’m going to make so much money selling ice creams. And anyone who complains that they look like something from my kitty litter tray can pay double. I put a lot of work into making those lumps. ~Depot Cat
Yeah nah, it’s too hot today. Sort out your own trams, we’re staying indoors where the air con is on. #YarraTrams
December 16, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Yeah nah, it’s too hot today. Sort out your own trams, we’re staying indoors where the air con is on. #YarraTrams
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone who doesn’t use deodorant. With the weather really warming up tomorrow, this is your last chance to do something about your stench.
Instead of a fine you’ll be required to lick the armpit of the next smelly person caught. #YarraTrams
Instead of a fine you’ll be required to lick the armpit of the next smelly person caught. #YarraTrams
December 15, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone who doesn’t use deodorant. With the weather really warming up tomorrow, this is your last chance to do something about your stench.
Instead of a fine you’ll be required to lick the armpit of the next smelly person caught. #YarraTrams
Instead of a fine you’ll be required to lick the armpit of the next smelly person caught. #YarraTrams
What tram extensions are on your Christmas wish list? Write them down and post them to your nearest #YarraTrams depot. At this time of the year we can always use the laugh, and extra toilet paper.
December 14, 2025 at 9:30 PM
What tram extensions are on your Christmas wish list? Write them down and post them to your nearest #YarraTrams depot. At this time of the year we can always use the laugh, and extra toilet paper.
Ok human I’ll play your guessing game. It’s obvious there is only one choice for me, I’m the greatest and can’t be fooled by anyone, and I never embarrass myself in any way, shape, or form. Therefore the only choice is myself, I am Depot Cat. Now kebab me for winning. ~Depot Cat
December 13, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Ok human I’ll play your guessing game. It’s obvious there is only one choice for me, I’m the greatest and can’t be fooled by anyone, and I never embarrass myself in any way, shape, or form. Therefore the only choice is myself, I am Depot Cat. Now kebab me for winning. ~Depot Cat
Due to us not being able to think of anything to post about today, there will be no posts from us today. But by posting this post about not posting we have met the T&C’s of our franchise agreement about posting stuff daily. It’s a big win for loopholes and for #YarraTrams
December 11, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Due to us not being able to think of anything to post about today, there will be no posts from us today. But by posting this post about not posting we have met the T&C’s of our franchise agreement about posting stuff daily. It’s a big win for loopholes and for #YarraTrams
Throwback Thursday: Date unknown, cnr Bourke & Swanston Sts, trams pass by Foy’s department store, displaying a large Santa.
The Santa at some stage came to life and terrorised the city, requiring the services of the Ghostbusters to tame it. #YarraTrams
The Santa at some stage came to life and terrorised the city, requiring the services of the Ghostbusters to tame it. #YarraTrams
December 10, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: Date unknown, cnr Bourke & Swanston Sts, trams pass by Foy’s department store, displaying a large Santa.
The Santa at some stage came to life and terrorised the city, requiring the services of the Ghostbusters to tame it. #YarraTrams
The Santa at some stage came to life and terrorised the city, requiring the services of the Ghostbusters to tame it. #YarraTrams
Suck it teenagers, you losers! You’re all morons, you’ll never get anywhere in life, and none of you know how to catch a tram. What total dorks!
Ahhh this media ban is great, none of them can fight back now, best day ever!!!1!1!!11!!! #YarraTrams
Ahhh this media ban is great, none of them can fight back now, best day ever!!!1!1!!11!!! #YarraTrams
December 9, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Suck it teenagers, you losers! You’re all morons, you’ll never get anywhere in life, and none of you know how to catch a tram. What total dorks!
Ahhh this media ban is great, none of them can fight back now, best day ever!!!1!1!!11!!! #YarraTrams
Ahhh this media ban is great, none of them can fight back now, best day ever!!!1!1!!11!!! #YarraTrams
Hey Kids! Come on down to the depot today to have your photo taken with me, Santa Claws. It’s all free thanks to #YarraTrams and the Community Corrections Order slapped on me by the Judge. But that kebab shop had it coming I say, after forgetting the garlic sauce. ~Depot Cat
December 9, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Hey Kids! Come on down to the depot today to have your photo taken with me, Santa Claws. It’s all free thanks to #YarraTrams and the Community Corrections Order slapped on me by the Judge. But that kebab shop had it coming I say, after forgetting the garlic sauce. ~Depot Cat
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone with Christmas shopping bags. We can’t have them getting in the way of all the school bags blocking the aisles, because we don’t want to kick anything valuable.
As a fine you’ll be forced to host the Tram Cops Christmas party. #YarraTrams
As a fine you’ll be forced to host the Tram Cops Christmas party. #YarraTrams
December 8, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone with Christmas shopping bags. We can’t have them getting in the way of all the school bags blocking the aisles, because we don’t want to kick anything valuable.
As a fine you’ll be forced to host the Tram Cops Christmas party. #YarraTrams
As a fine you’ll be forced to host the Tram Cops Christmas party. #YarraTrams
There has been a large influx of interstate tourists to Melbourne of late, confused and complaining about how good we have it, and how they don’t have trams. So here at #YarraTrams we’d just like ti say these people, “Why don’t you make like a hook turn and leave.”
December 7, 2025 at 10:00 PM
There has been a large influx of interstate tourists to Melbourne of late, confused and complaining about how good we have it, and how they don’t have trams. So here at #YarraTrams we’d just like ti say these people, “Why don’t you make like a hook turn and leave.”
Hey humans! When wrapping your presents, be sure to check the box for sleeping cats. 8 times this week I’ve been rudely awakened by you lot demanding to know why I’m in your house, and why all your food has been eaten. Be more thoughtful and don’t disturb me. ~Depot Cat
December 6, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Hey humans! When wrapping your presents, be sure to check the box for sleeping cats. 8 times this week I’ve been rudely awakened by you lot demanding to know why I’m in your house, and why all your food has been eaten. Be more thoughtful and don’t disturb me. ~Depot Cat
You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf, well now get ready for Wham on a Tram.
See, #YarraTrams is up with all the new music that is hip and cool. The only squares here daddy-o is the tram square crossings.
See, #YarraTrams is up with all the new music that is hip and cool. The only squares here daddy-o is the tram square crossings.
December 4, 2025 at 9:30 PM
You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf, well now get ready for Wham on a Tram.
See, #YarraTrams is up with all the new music that is hip and cool. The only squares here daddy-o is the tram square crossings.
See, #YarraTrams is up with all the new music that is hip and cool. The only squares here daddy-o is the tram square crossings.
Throwback Thursday: June 24, 1989 SW6.856 running on Glenferrie Road back to Malvern Depot, after dropping off some overnight rentals back to the Video Library, to avoid late fees. #YarraTrams
December 3, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Throwback Thursday: June 24, 1989 SW6.856 running on Glenferrie Road back to Malvern Depot, after dropping off some overnight rentals back to the Video Library, to avoid late fees. #YarraTrams
#YarraTrams would like to advise everyone that we are not associated with Gunzel Day in any way, and that no one should visit gunzel.day to find out more information. People who like trams for anything other than profit making shouldn’t be allowed near our trams.
Gunzel Day
Gunzel Day is an annual celebration to recognise all people who are passionate about railways, tramways, and public transport.
gunzel.day
December 3, 2025 at 9:15 PM
#YarraTrams would like to advise everyone that we are not associated with Gunzel Day in any way, and that no one should visit gunzel.day to find out more information. People who like trams for anything other than profit making shouldn’t be allowed near our trams.
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone delaying trams while they line up to look at the Myer windows.
You won’t be fined, but you will be made to walk barefoot across all six Lego displays without making a sound, or you’ll have to do it again and again. #YarraTrams
You won’t be fined, but you will be made to walk barefoot across all six Lego displays without making a sound, or you’ll have to do it again and again. #YarraTrams
December 2, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Tram Cops today are targeting anyone delaying trams while they line up to look at the Myer windows.
You won’t be fined, but you will be made to walk barefoot across all six Lego displays without making a sound, or you’ll have to do it again and again. #YarraTrams
You won’t be fined, but you will be made to walk barefoot across all six Lego displays without making a sound, or you’ll have to do it again and again. #YarraTrams
Tram services delayed today due to a Christmas tree on the tracks.
At least they will be delayed after I get this thing knocked over any moment now. ~Depot Cat
At least they will be delayed after I get this thing knocked over any moment now. ~Depot Cat
December 1, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Tram services delayed today due to a Christmas tree on the tracks.
At least they will be delayed after I get this thing knocked over any moment now. ~Depot Cat
At least they will be delayed after I get this thing knocked over any moment now. ~Depot Cat
Summer is here, and with snow currently falling on Mount Buller, here at #YarraTrams we’re wondering if this is the start of the “When Hell freezes over”, moment when we have to get around to extending all the tram lines we promised to do?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
December 1, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Summer is here, and with snow currently falling on Mount Buller, here at #YarraTrams we’re wondering if this is the start of the “When Hell freezes over”, moment when we have to get around to extending all the tram lines we promised to do?
Asking for a friend.
Asking for a friend.
With the Metro Tunnel proving a great success already, #YarraTrams are altering St.Kilda Rd services to suit. All trams will now terminate at Anzac Station, and passengers can change onto trains there.
This has nothing to do with us trying to claim 100% on time running. Honest!
This has nothing to do with us trying to claim 100% on time running. Honest!
November 30, 2025 at 9:30 PM
With the Metro Tunnel proving a great success already, #YarraTrams are altering St.Kilda Rd services to suit. All trams will now terminate at Anzac Station, and passengers can change onto trains there.
This has nothing to do with us trying to claim 100% on time running. Honest!
This has nothing to do with us trying to claim 100% on time running. Honest!
The Metro Tunnel opens today, and #YarraTrams is proud that as part of the construction of this major infrastructure, since 2017 the tracks on Park Street and Domain Road have remained closed, and will continue to remain closed, as part of our commitment not providing services.
November 29, 2025 at 9:30 PM
The Metro Tunnel opens today, and #YarraTrams is proud that as part of the construction of this major infrastructure, since 2017 the tracks on Park Street and Domain Road have remained closed, and will continue to remain closed, as part of our commitment not providing services.
I can’t believe the year is nearly over. So many humans to scratch, so little time left. But I’m too exhausted from all the hard work I’ve done scratching people and trying to fit in 23 hours of sleep a day. Why does life have to be so hard for me? ~Depot Cat
November 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM
I can’t believe the year is nearly over. So many humans to scratch, so little time left. But I’m too exhausted from all the hard work I’ve done scratching people and trying to fit in 23 hours of sleep a day. Why does life have to be so hard for me? ~Depot Cat
Looking to book your workplace end of year boozer? There’s never been a better time to book the Restaurant Tram. Because just like your enthusiasm for your workplace, the Restaurant Tram is just a memory of good times past. Perfect for when you want to tell your boss to shove it. #YarraTrams
November 27, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Looking to book your workplace end of year boozer? There’s never been a better time to book the Restaurant Tram. Because just like your enthusiasm for your workplace, the Restaurant Tram is just a memory of good times past. Perfect for when you want to tell your boss to shove it. #YarraTrams