el is all in, mate 🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️
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escargot-on.bsky.social
el is all in, mate 🏳️‍🌈🏴‍☠️
@escargot-on.bsky.social
670 followers 530 following 1.3K posts
my love for OFMD is un-cancelable || she/her, definitely still mid-30s || spanishforthecar on AO3 || pfp by @neslee.bsky.social, header by ADHD || gay pirates, oversharing, and occasional politics
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escargot-on.bsky.social
In unbelievable great news, WE GOT OUR TREE BACK???? But now I feel like I forced you all to my fic under false pretenses 😅
The tree in my living room! It's a really really huge evergreen! The tree before being cut down, for comparison. A screenshot of the text my husband got this morning, slightly edited for privacy. Tree Guy: Mr. El we found your tree! Mr. El: No Way! Mr. El: Amazing Tree Guy: Yes! Mr. El: That's awesome news, we really liked this one 😂 Tree Guy: [photo of the bottom of a tree, tagged with a label with my name (El Lastname) on it]
November 30, 2025 at 3:10 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Me when OFMD is renewed
A tryptic of the rain-soaked "it wasn't over. It still isn't over!" scene from The Notebook
November 30, 2025 at 12:21 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Every year I share my cut-your-own-tree fic the weekend we get our Christmas tree. And this year I really need people to be nice to me about it because SOMEONE STOLE OUR TREE TODAY (probably on accident) 😭😭😭

U-Pick, 2.8k, rated M, no trees are stolen in this fic

archiveofourown.org/works/43820817
Our beautiful perfect tree that is now with another family 😭 (a ~9 ft Noble Fir) A field of small Christmas trees and a sign indicating where to leave your cut tree so it can be transported to the baler (and hopefully not taken by someone else). The Christmas tree place is in the hills northwest of Portland and very scenic. Here's Mt. St. Helens just under a cloud, a bit of the town of Scappoose, and some water that might be Sturgeon Lake. (We've come here for years and it's great - the tree loss is sad but Christmas Mountain is still totally worth it.) U-Pick spanishforthecar Summary: A little silly, a little sweet, a little spicy first meeting at a tree farm before Christmas. Featuring Stede info-dumping about Christmas tree species, Ed ogling Stede's ass while he unintentionally erotically operates a saw, and Fang owning a dog named Shark Bait (which is the actual name of a dog currently available for adoption at my local shelter). Also includes a bit of precursor to Stepdad Ed, Mary & Stede successfully co-parenting, because everything's happy over here this holiday season.
November 29, 2025 at 1:52 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Dream breakfast.
A piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on a yellow plate, next to a pink "depression robe" patterned mug of coffee.
November 28, 2025 at 6:31 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
I just scrolled back through my own recent Bluesky posts and was dismayed to realize they're all about me?? This is not what this account is supposed to be for! I'm still here for OFMD! I just don't have anything new to share or new insights! But here's an old gif as proof of my intent!
November 21, 2025 at 10:37 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Finally got started on hanging some art today after painting my office in August!
A photo of a wall in my office, with some framed OFMD fan art!
November 9, 2025 at 3:33 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Oh, this is fun and potentially a good time to drop a little smidgen—a soupçon, if you will—of chapter 3 of 'Til Forever, the yearlong and counting WIP sequel to 'Til Now.
“Wow, okay. Congratulations, Lucius, another promotion, that's amazing! Why, thank you both so much,” Lucius snips. “Congratulations, Lucius! Another promotion! That's amazing!” Stede offers, as enthusiastically as possible. “So genuine, we love it. Anyway. We're working on a new concept for the upcoming season, a sort of, ah… ‘second chance at glory’ season. Where former contestants can come back for another season. But also, it's, like, a pairs situation. There are two people working together, like a team. It's more complicated than that, but…” he trails off. Stede can feel Ed tensing up next to him, but there's no way Lucius is implying… “Are you looking for consultants?” Stede asks. “As, er, probably the only people on the show who've teamed up before, I suppose we do have valuable perspective.”
November 5, 2025 at 9:01 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Got to meet some beer-loving goats this evening 12/10, can't recommend highly enough
November 1, 2025 at 1:55 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
I can't believe I found a gay cat cafe in Appleton, Wisconsin omg. Also I'm in love with Dorothy.
A sign that says "The Pawffee Shop Cat Cafe" and a progress pride flag on the window below it. The cutest orange-tinged tabby with a round little face and green eyes, rubbing up against my jeans. Help I love her.
October 17, 2025 at 3:43 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Well, I didn't read anything and did listen to like two hours of Clinton impeachment content, BUT, I also managed to barf out a thousand or so words, including some *real* high-quality smut.
“Time to get ready, huh?” he teases. “Getting ready is a multi step process,” Stede answers, his voice an incongruent and deliciously prim counterpoint to [something something hands and balls and maybe taint idk]. “It can include stress relief and an injection of endorphins before an
October 17, 2025 at 5:53 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Look at this awesome shirt I just got!! (also the cute cat)
A white woman (me) wearing a cream-colored sweatshirt that is block printed with the phrase "let trans kids grow up" and images of a caterpillar on a branch, a moth, and some mushrooms. Also a black cat curled on a bed behind me
October 15, 2025 at 10:22 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
hashtag thriving
October 12, 2025 at 5:35 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
The only way to "run" a 10k is to not train and then spend the night before eating Froot Loops and drinking prosecco
October 12, 2025 at 4:20 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
away for the night but still watching the cutest demon
October 12, 2025 at 3:15 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
every time I read a headline
A photo of Freyja, a black cat, with wide eyes, a very serious expression, airplane ears, and an EXTREMELY POOFED, VERY SHORT tail. (She was meeting a dog. She doesn't worry about the news.)
October 1, 2025 at 3:42 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
this is the energy I bring
A still from a video showing a very small hippopotamus that a white woman is leaning over to pick up. There's cc text on the screen that reads "my goodness he's just a tired potato"
September 20, 2025 at 6:18 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Had an extremely OFMD day in my Goo-inspired Gentlebeard shirt, drinking Friday Afternoon "Ooh Daddy" tea from my depression robe mug, and then switching to the fab Tuesday shirt for my blood donation (no white, just in case)
September 18, 2025 at 1:21 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
I haven't written anything in over six months so clearly I should jump right back in by trying to [checks notes] write a natural-sounding three-person conversation that's happening during dinner preparation, and also shove in as many s2 references as possible 🙃
#WIPWednesday
“Unfortunately for us all, it i—hey!” Lucius answers, cutting himself off as Ed reaches over and swipes the wine bottle from his grasp, halfway to his glass. “Sorry, man, dinner takes precedence. You’ll get it right back,” Ed says, splashing a little wine into the pot. Stede takes the bottle back and tops off Lucius’s glass before returning to the growing mountain of Parmesan below his rasp grater. “Frankly, I don’t think the person who turned our love story into television should be calling us disgusting,” Stede muses. “Much less someone who’s drawn his boyfriend as a flower. And a seahorse. Sorry, darling,” he adds to Ed as he nudges him out of the way to open the oven and pull out a tray of roasted broccoli and garlic. “Where is Pete, anyway?” Ed asks Lucius. Stede looks intently at the lemon he’s juicing over the vegetables to hide his smile—Ed had had to confirm poor Pete’s name at least half a dozen times before Lucius arrived, and now he’s asking about him so smoothly, like he’s never once forgotten Pete. “And what are you doing up here?” Stede chimes in. “Ed, are you ready for me to set the table?” Ed nods, and catches Stede around the waist as he turns, pausing him briefly for a kiss. Lucius makes a very unsubtle gagging noise, before he answers, “Well, the main reason I’m here is to see my beloved friends whose company I get to enjoy so rarely.” “Uh uh,” Ed says dubiously, as Stede scoffs. “Okay, well, I also wanted to experience the fruits of Ed’s home chef era.” “Sycophant,” Stede murmurs quietly, cocking an eyebrow, which prompts a gasp of mock offense. “Fine. I’m also going to spend the long weekend with Kevin, and I wanted a place to eat and crash along the way,” he finally confesses. “Ah ha,” Stede crows. “Who is Kevin?” Ed asks.
September 17, 2025 at 7:45 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
forgot how much fun writing is!!
Screenshot from a Google doc that just reads, in all caps, "Awkward but believable transitional line about dessert."
September 17, 2025 at 5:12 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Scrolling around for restaurant inspiration and...!

(I know nothing about this bar but immediately need to go)
Screenshot from Google Maps in SE Portland, OR, with a bar called Jackie's circled. (It's on SE Pine & 10th)
September 17, 2025 at 3:12 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
every health-related article
A photo of RFK Jr. at a desk, accompanied by a headline that reads "RFK Jr. wants to [fill in the blank]. Experts say it's a bad idea." The actual thing he wants to do has been whited out and replaced with "[fill in the blank]"
September 17, 2025 at 2:31 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
This little field trip was inspired by my fic Swift, which is an Ed/Stede meet cute at the swifts, and which comes with this stunning art 🥰
archiveofourown.org/works/50163064
A drawing of Ed and Stede on a blanket, sharing a picnic, overlooking a field and school, with small birds circling a chimney.
September 12, 2025 at 7:39 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
This week last year, I was thrilled (& intimidated!) to have pirates join me for an RCCC-adjacent viewing of the Chapman swifts! It's bittersweet, because for the first time in 30+ years, the swifts *didn't return* this year, and I'm so glad I got the share the experience while it was still a thing.
A photo of many small birds (they look like little flecks!) in motion, circling a brick chimney A photo of about two dozen very cool pirates sitting on a soccer field at sunset.
September 12, 2025 at 7:39 PM
escargot-on.bsky.social
You ever look at your screenshots from the day and think, wow, that's a deeply unwell person
September 12, 2025 at 5:30 AM
escargot-on.bsky.social
Huh, weird day to be getting this piece of (unsolicited, DEEPLY unwanted) mail.
Screenshot of a portion of my USPS Informed Delivery email showing an envelope from Charlie Kirk/Turning Point USA. Most of my address has been redacted.
September 10, 2025 at 7:30 PM