Erik Germ
@erikgerm.bsky.social
trying very hard to be hilarious. read my stuff on Cracked.com. hear my stuff on Ranker’s Weird History YouTube Channel. otherwise, i'm helping run http://planetscum.live
I was scratching inside my nostril if you even care. not picking my nose. but of course you would never believe my intentions were pure and my heart is true.
January 6, 2026 at 5:27 AM
I was scratching inside my nostril if you even care. not picking my nose. but of course you would never believe my intentions were pure and my heart is true.
do not cite the deep memes to me, witch. I was there when the media was still trying to decide how “memes” was pronounced.
January 3, 2026 at 2:43 PM
do not cite the deep memes to me, witch. I was there when the media was still trying to decide how “memes” was pronounced.
the “hot water bottle” was named by someone who had never before seen a bottle
January 2, 2026 at 6:37 PM
the “hot water bottle” was named by someone who had never before seen a bottle
I took out this secondhand Sounds Spectacular record and inside was this old Betsey Clark drawing that looks to have been taped to some kid’s wall in the 70s
January 1, 2026 at 6:15 PM
I took out this secondhand Sounds Spectacular record and inside was this old Betsey Clark drawing that looks to have been taped to some kid’s wall in the 70s
New Year.
New Me.
New Muh.
New Muh. Yay.
Numa Numa Yay.
Numa Numa Numa Yay.
Chipul tău și dragostea din tei
New Me.
New Muh.
New Muh. Yay.
Numa Numa Yay.
Numa Numa Numa Yay.
Chipul tău și dragostea din tei
a man with a bandage on his head is laying in bed .
ALT: a man with a bandage on his head is laying in bed .
media.tenor.com
January 1, 2026 at 4:16 PM
New Year.
New Me.
New Muh.
New Muh. Yay.
Numa Numa Yay.
Numa Numa Numa Yay.
Chipul tău și dragostea din tei
New Me.
New Muh.
New Muh. Yay.
Numa Numa Yay.
Numa Numa Numa Yay.
Chipul tău și dragostea din tei
my 9yo caught a typo in the NORAD Santa Tracker. ‘Inida’ instead of India
December 24, 2025 at 4:42 PM
my 9yo caught a typo in the NORAD Santa Tracker. ‘Inida’ instead of India
my favorite part of Muppet Christmas Carol is when Scrooge knows full well which tombstone the ghost is pointing but tries to prolong the inevitable for one more second by pointing to a different one
December 24, 2025 at 4:49 AM
my favorite part of Muppet Christmas Carol is when Scrooge knows full well which tombstone the ghost is pointing but tries to prolong the inevitable for one more second by pointing to a different one
Reposted by Erik Germ
enjoy this relic of me and @erikgerm.bsky.social at the Pokémon Black White Tour circa 2010
December 24, 2025 at 2:50 AM
enjoy this relic of me and @erikgerm.bsky.social at the Pokémon Black White Tour circa 2010
no actually I asked for coal. so i’m super psyched. these are tears of joy. christmas joy so shut the fuck up
December 21, 2025 at 4:16 AM
no actually I asked for coal. so i’m super psyched. these are tears of joy. christmas joy so shut the fuck up
sorry, buddy. confidently incorrect is the only confidence I got
December 20, 2025 at 2:32 PM
sorry, buddy. confidently incorrect is the only confidence I got
my favorite exchange in Home Alone
December 19, 2025 at 5:04 AM
my favorite exchange in Home Alone
i’d have told Ebeneezer Scrooge to fuck off, I can tell you that much
December 11, 2025 at 4:34 PM
i’d have told Ebeneezer Scrooge to fuck off, I can tell you that much
fuck jeremy renner I don’t even use this app anymore
December 8, 2025 at 9:34 PM
fuck jeremy renner I don’t even use this app anymore
Billy Idol (grabbing a bag of Smartfood popcorn): it’s a nice day for a White Chedding
December 8, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Billy Idol (grabbing a bag of Smartfood popcorn): it’s a nice day for a White Chedding
Dr. Evil’s complaint that his dad “would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark” just sounds like me every day when i’m messing with my kids. Earlier, I told them I used to be in the Paw Patrol.
December 6, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Dr. Evil’s complaint that his dad “would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark” just sounds like me every day when i’m messing with my kids. Earlier, I told them I used to be in the Paw Patrol.
watching the 2017 Oscar’s La La Land/Moonlight fiasco just to feel something
December 5, 2025 at 2:14 AM
watching the 2017 Oscar’s La La Land/Moonlight fiasco just to feel something
ok I’ll bite. what is a Stranger Things?
November 27, 2025 at 4:40 AM
ok I’ll bite. what is a Stranger Things?
“stupid idiot” is the perfect insult. not only are you stupid but you’re a fuckin idiot to boot.
unmatched.
unmatched.
November 22, 2025 at 3:26 AM
“stupid idiot” is the perfect insult. not only are you stupid but you’re a fuckin idiot to boot.
unmatched.
unmatched.
I want to trip and fall down the Jennifer Hudson tunnel and just not get up
November 21, 2025 at 4:39 AM
I want to trip and fall down the Jennifer Hudson tunnel and just not get up
woah-oh here she comes
WATCH OUT BOY! SHE’LL CHEW YOUR BUGS
woah-oh here she comes
SHE’S AN ANTEATER
WATCH OUT BOY! SHE’LL CHEW YOUR BUGS
woah-oh here she comes
SHE’S AN ANTEATER
November 20, 2025 at 6:05 PM
woah-oh here she comes
WATCH OUT BOY! SHE’LL CHEW YOUR BUGS
woah-oh here she comes
SHE’S AN ANTEATER
WATCH OUT BOY! SHE’LL CHEW YOUR BUGS
woah-oh here she comes
SHE’S AN ANTEATER
i’m writing a prequel the song “Santa, Baby”
it’s called “Baby Santa”
it’s called “Baby Santa”
November 20, 2025 at 1:38 AM
i’m writing a prequel the song “Santa, Baby”
it’s called “Baby Santa”
it’s called “Baby Santa”
might get this. see if he left any clues in there
November 18, 2025 at 12:29 AM
might get this. see if he left any clues in there
Reposted by Erik Germ
The government always has money set aside for SNAP benefits in case of a shutdown. The fact they’re pretending it doesn’t exist tells us 1 of 2 things:
1 Pure greed & misappropriation
2 Trump plans to “swoop in” after people suffer awhile so he can be a “hero” because all he cares about is his ego
1 Pure greed & misappropriation
2 Trump plans to “swoop in” after people suffer awhile so he can be a “hero” because all he cares about is his ego
November 7, 2025 at 6:49 PM
The government always has money set aside for SNAP benefits in case of a shutdown. The fact they’re pretending it doesn’t exist tells us 1 of 2 things:
1 Pure greed & misappropriation
2 Trump plans to “swoop in” after people suffer awhile so he can be a “hero” because all he cares about is his ego
1 Pure greed & misappropriation
2 Trump plans to “swoop in” after people suffer awhile so he can be a “hero” because all he cares about is his ego
The vibes and aesthetic of Violet’s Halloween party in Great Pumpkin are immaculate
October 30, 2025 at 3:31 AM
The vibes and aesthetic of Violet’s Halloween party in Great Pumpkin are immaculate
I went to the giant red concrete ball factory and asked them if I could have one even though I’m not a Target and they shot me with a shotgun.
October 23, 2025 at 10:54 PM
I went to the giant red concrete ball factory and asked them if I could have one even though I’m not a Target and they shot me with a shotgun.