ellison hyde
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ellisonhyde.bsky.social
ellison hyde
@ellisonhyde.bsky.social
340 followers 1.5K following 2.2K posts
she/her. full of bones. also contains meat and various liquids, some of which are in tubes. the tubes have ADHD
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ellisonhyde.bsky.social
it galls me that I can only ever access the abstracts from The American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology without paying huge amounts of money but what abstracts there are can be very juicy
lines from abstract of an article: "This study reports a case of a human body skeletonized in less than 24 hours by ichthyofauna following an accidental fall into the Amazon River. Only cartilaginous structures of the nose and ears, the male genitalia, and the feet and hands of the individual remained."
November 27, 2025 at 2:48 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
ok
Screenshot of text that says "This article is about dentistry and oral sex."
November 26, 2025 at 6:45 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
looks like sitting for the public toilet situation (public squat toilets would need somewhere to put the feet on roughly the same plane as the hole, rather than the hole being at the edge of a precipice i think) -- www.flickr.com/photos/26010...
( live.staticflickr.com/3460/3995864... )
photo of some people sitting on remains of roman public toilets
November 20, 2025 at 10:14 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
but there was a little gutter of running water in *front* of the toilets that would be a less gross thing for the purpose

I do think it would be hard to fling water up your butt sufficient to clean it, given how small the holes are and how small the quantity of supplied/accessible water is
photo of public roman toilets that shows the gutter running in front of the toilets
November 20, 2025 at 9:11 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
have been thinking about this off and on all day and, given the appearance of public Roman toilets I see online, I have come to the conclusion the practicality of it would be "a device to approach from the front and easily bypass the dick and balls"
a rough diagram explaining a possible theory of how the sponge stick was used to bypass dick and balls when wiping
November 20, 2025 at 7:47 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
I will use any excuse to reference Grace & Frankie honestly
scene from Grace & Frankie in which Grace (Jane Fonda), Frankie (Lily Tomlin) and fictional pop singer Kareena G (Nicole Richie) are recording themselves yelling "Eat shit Kristen Bell"
November 20, 2025 at 2:04 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
my dog acting like she's going to bed for the night, like, going to just stay there and go to sleep, in bed; and me, thinking I can go to sleep now
charlie brown falling dramatically after lucy yanks the football away from him yet again because he's a FOOL a HOPELESS FOOL
November 20, 2025 at 2:28 AM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
forced myself to go outside and fucking look at the nature because it is really quite nice if I can just cut through my own shit long enough to enjoy it
cedar waxwing sitting in a crusty autumn-form tulip poplar tree a robin sits amongst the gnarled branches of a dead pine tree which in this view forms a consummate v blue jay with a big fat fuckin acorn in its mouth and goddamn its feathers are electric blue in the sun it doesn't even seem real black vulture flying directly above you, deciding you are not yet dead enough to be of interest
November 13, 2025 at 8:01 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
cop slide team story
conversation under cop slide video person a: do we know why it's like that person b: According to the wiki page someone actually sent scientists to try and figure out why person c: And?! person d: They never made it out... person e: Some say they're still sliding
November 8, 2025 at 1:44 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
sometimes I have tabs open so long I don't know what the hell I was doing
header text that says "What should I do if I encounter fish disease?"
November 6, 2025 at 6:33 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
I am woefully bug ignorant and today I saw a woolly bear caterpillar like ive seen a thousand times and realized I knew nothing about it. Looked it up on Wikipedia and oh my god did everyone else know this??
The Isabella tiger moth can be found in many cold and temperate regions. The banded woolly bear larva emerges from the egg in the fall and overwinters in its caterpillar form, by allowing most of its mass to freeze solid. First its heart stops beating, then its gut freezes, then its blood, followed by the rest of the body. It survives being frozen by producing a cryoprotectant in its tissues. 5] This freezing occurs outside of body cells, but not within. In the spring, it thaws.
October 28, 2025 at 12:02 AM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
Sorry for being awkward
A room with a small tv, a table lamp, and what appears to be heavy blood spatter and dripping and handprints and bloody blood everywhere except, curiously, the TV and lamp. The TV appears to be showing a film about buttocks
October 26, 2025 at 7:20 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
if you let people know about stuff that's happening then they might say things about the stuff that's happening and that would be awful
screenshot from quoted article that says: In court documents, UC lawyers argued that releasing the settlement proposal would create an untenable "fishbowl" inviting "every member of the entire public to express each one's views on every settlement," creating an "uncontrollable public fray" impeding negotiations.
October 24, 2025 at 12:05 AM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
thank you for that clarification, footnote
screenshot of a footnote from a paper I'm reading that says "3. The fart does not appear to have been mentioned in the Bible."
October 15, 2025 at 5:28 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
I've crawled off to browse through search results in The American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology and I thought I'd just let people know this important fact about stabbing fruit
Abstract from an article comparing the force needed to stab a human chest vs various types of fruit, which ends with "Results show that force needed to penetrate the skin and allow for an 8-cm blade penetration into the chest is similar to the force required to insert a steak knife for a 6-cm distance into a cantaloupe. In addition, the force needed to penetrate the cartilage is most similar to stabbing a watermelon to 6 cm with a butcher knife. However, the forces required to penetrate the bone are greater than those required to penetrate any fruit with any type of blade."
August 13, 2025 at 9:24 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
(whispers in a low, lusty voice)
excerpt from the encyclopedia of meat sciences that reads "The major constraints to the use of hot boning have been the slippage of one muscle relative to another within a primal cut, which is considered visually less appealing, and the extra shortening of excised muscles subjected to rapid chilling. Aging is effective when muscle shortens by less than 20% (but reduces if shortening is greater), so hot boning and aging is feasible if temperatures are controlled.
August 13, 2025 at 8:36 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
what will the new obscenity laws do with the encyclopedia on meat sciences
a subsection from a chapter in a meat science work entitled "Electrical Stimulation and Hot Boning" which has really specific meat science connotations that are not at all what you would imagine out of context
August 13, 2025 at 8:31 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
"Fine day isn't it"
"I don't know. Rather overcast. Bit muggy. I suppose it depends on how one defines 'fine day,' though, doesn't it; after all, one person's awful is another person's--"
"Jesus Christ Meredith I was just being polite"
a rather large turtle and a cormorant sit on the same rock, looking, I think somewhat awkwardly, in one another's direction
August 7, 2025 at 2:58 AM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
here we have some uhh members of the family Anatinae seated in a umm somewhat linear arrangement
three common mergansers on a rock with their heads tucked, one sort of after the other, in a bit of a vertical fashion, as the rock goes upwards picturesquely out of the river three common mergansers now with their heads raised in exactly the same directions, showing off their nice joker-style lipsticks, arranged again in the same sort of sequential way, one just above the other as the rock inclines
August 7, 2025 at 1:45 AM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
...and yet, somehow, before I realized that I had accidentally screwed up my camera settings, I happened to take these, proving once again that pure dumb luck is really the greatest factor in the quality of any picture I take
osprey taking off from maple tree branch. the photographic quality is far, far better than it should be osprey looking directly at the camera, sitting on maple tree branch same osprey on maple tree branch from side view, looking extremely handsome, very probably its Good Side
August 7, 2025 at 1:06 AM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
the river is not just great for birds. It's also great if you're into damselfly orgies. just beach your kayak on some rocks for a while to laboriously delete a bunch of photos cos your memory card is unexpectedly full and then look up and you will see more damselfly sex than you ever wanted to see
damselflies forming a heard shape with their long abdomen bits as they...couple, you know, fornicationly
August 6, 2025 at 11:56 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
Since outside has been less awful lately I decided to try going outside again. The river is harder to get to but it does not disappoint #birds #wildlife #nature
two green herons having a kinetic disagreement a bald eagle not yet old enough to be "bald" (speckled brown rather than white head and tail) flying, head-on, staring at my/your face a whole pile of beautiful lovely cormorants in the middle of the river looking distinguished as fuck an osprey flying overhead with an entire fish. I think the fish is something in the Lepomis family ("sunfish" which is wildly different from an ocean sunfish) but I really don't know, I'm not that good at fish identification. Still it has its entire head which is unusual for something in an osprey's talons
August 6, 2025 at 11:46 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
GLBRGH
Series of screenshots from film series of The Hogfather in which Death (a fellow in a dapper skull mask and robe, etc) is saying "Justice, mercy, duty..." "You need to believe..." "in things that aren't true." "How else can they become?"
July 28, 2025 at 3:20 AM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
this one is an artificial hand attachment patent from 1921 specifically for the purpose of keeping a piece of paper from slipping while you write on it with the other hand
diagram of proposed artificial hand attachment sort of like the bottom of a tiny tray-roller stand or something that has one back foot with a rubber thing on the end to put pressure on to keep something in place and two front foot bits with tiny wheels
July 18, 2025 at 12:48 PM
ellisonhyde.bsky.social
y'all ever just scroll through images of patents and desperately wish you knew if someone ever actually made the thing and what it looked like and how it would work in real life
a patent illustration filed by D.P. Christmann in 1918 for an artificial hand, which is a diagram of what I want to describe as a Swiss Army hook, or what would probably today be advertised as a "tactical hand" with a pinchy bit, a small graspy bit with a back-facing hook on the end for holding pens and pencils, and a larger half-round graspy bit on the other side, intended to be attached to a body-powered prosthesis for those missing a hand
July 18, 2025 at 12:38 PM