If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.
November 24, 2025 at 7:53 PM
If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.
I ♥️ short weeks that end in pie.
November 24, 2025 at 3:21 PM
I ♥️ short weeks that end in pie.
Prepping for Thanksgiving.
November 23, 2025 at 11:33 PM
Prepping for Thanksgiving.
If you invite me somewhere with complicated parking, I’m going home.
November 23, 2025 at 7:54 PM
If you invite me somewhere with complicated parking, I’m going home.
Happy 29th anniversary to Star Trek: First Contact — my forever favorite.
November 23, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Happy 29th anniversary to Star Trek: First Contact — my forever favorite.
Me reading everyone’s Wicked skeets knowing I’m seeing it tonight.
November 21, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Me reading everyone’s Wicked skeets knowing I’m seeing it tonight.
Trying to decide if I need this doormat.
November 21, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Trying to decide if I need this doormat.
Don’t forget to carve out a little time today to panic over something you have absolutely zero control over.
November 20, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Don’t forget to carve out a little time today to panic over something you have absolutely zero control over.
Be the reason your family doesn't hold reunions anymore.
November 19, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Be the reason your family doesn't hold reunions anymore.
A cat is just a weighted blanket that bites you.
November 19, 2025 at 1:33 AM
A cat is just a weighted blanket that bites you.
Finished my Christmas shopping. I hope everyone likes Halloween costumes.
November 18, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Finished my Christmas shopping. I hope everyone likes Halloween costumes.
Peak energy from Morgan Spector and Carrie Coon in their GQ shoot.
November 18, 2025 at 8:49 PM
Peak energy from Morgan Spector and Carrie Coon in their GQ shoot.
Nothing drops a sad violin harder than a Ken Burns documentary.
November 18, 2025 at 3:07 AM
Nothing drops a sad violin harder than a Ken Burns documentary.
We’ve seen some shit.
November 18, 2025 at 1:46 AM
We’ve seen some shit.
MS NOW would be the perfect drag name.
November 18, 2025 at 1:14 AM
MS NOW would be the perfect drag name.
Opening an Incognito tab before Googling a really stupid question.
November 17, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Opening an Incognito tab before Googling a really stupid question.
My hot chocolate is now 94% marshmallow.
November 16, 2025 at 11:52 PM
My hot chocolate is now 94% marshmallow.
“What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
November 15, 2025 at 10:33 PM
“What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
My knees and I are not the same age.
November 15, 2025 at 8:00 PM
My knees and I are not the same age.
Reposted by мɑгκ
Bill Clinton's dick is the lament configuration that has cursed american politics for the entirety of my lifetime
November 15, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Bill Clinton's dick is the lament configuration that has cursed american politics for the entirety of my lifetime
Non-Illinois folks never seem to know this, but Abraham Lincoln wasn’t just president — he was also a noted vampire hunter.
November 15, 2025 at 2:47 AM
Non-Illinois folks never seem to know this, but Abraham Lincoln wasn’t just president — he was also a noted vampire hunter.
It’s Friday, so I’m dropping the biggest, fattest D you’ve ever seen.
November 14, 2025 at 6:55 PM
It’s Friday, so I’m dropping the biggest, fattest D you’ve ever seen.
