DoctorWolfBoy
@doctorwolfboy.bsky.social
Doctor. Wolf. Boy. Here to talk about Pokemon and Transformers and occasionally say something snippy about statistics or neurology
Maybe the fact that the only apps that don’t make you want to kill yourself are shopping apps was the plan all along
January 31, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Maybe the fact that the only apps that don’t make you want to kill yourself are shopping apps was the plan all along
Finally scheduling a gastroenterology appointment. Maybe someone can FINALLY tell me why I poop every time I shit
January 13, 2026 at 7:34 PM
Finally scheduling a gastroenterology appointment. Maybe someone can FINALLY tell me why I poop every time I shit
T-shirt that says “I let Amazon Alexa+ rip my dick off with the new automated masturbation sleeve peripheral and all I got was this bloody stump where my dick used to be”
January 10, 2026 at 4:19 AM
T-shirt that says “I let Amazon Alexa+ rip my dick off with the new automated masturbation sleeve peripheral and all I got was this bloody stump where my dick used to be”
2026 Travel Hack: you can get a free and very interesting behind-the-scenes tour of most international airports by placing a small but loaded firearm inside the lining of your carry on bag
January 1, 2026 at 11:58 PM
2026 Travel Hack: you can get a free and very interesting behind-the-scenes tour of most international airports by placing a small but loaded firearm inside the lining of your carry on bag
Talking to our 2yo after mama read her some of the Bernie Sanders book:
“Is oligarchy good or bad?”
“Bad. Don’t talk it.”
“Is oligarchy good or bad?”
“Bad. Don’t talk it.”
December 27, 2025 at 4:09 PM
Talking to our 2yo after mama read her some of the Bernie Sanders book:
“Is oligarchy good or bad?”
“Bad. Don’t talk it.”
“Is oligarchy good or bad?”
“Bad. Don’t talk it.”
“Après moi, le déluge” meaning “after me, the flood,” a quote misattributed to Napoleon to indicate indifference toward what happens after one’s death is actually about squirting.
December 24, 2025 at 2:29 AM
“Après moi, le déluge” meaning “after me, the flood,” a quote misattributed to Napoleon to indicate indifference toward what happens after one’s death is actually about squirting.
Patient presents with complaint that every time he masturbates, he develops a dystonic facial reaction
December 17, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Patient presents with complaint that every time he masturbates, he develops a dystonic facial reaction
Angrily tearing down the maximum height barrier on the parking garage sign because I keep hitting it with my truck
December 12, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Angrily tearing down the maximum height barrier on the parking garage sign because I keep hitting it with my truck
So you’re telling me it’s hard to know which is worse, a fiction created by greedy billionaires or a reality created by greedy billionaires
I love these snapshots of old training dates, it's about as close as you can get to proving objectively that something is very very wrong with the country.
The machine built by feeding it decades of data and news stories is like "shut the fuck up, that shit can't be true."
Immune to frog boiling.
The machine built by feeding it decades of data and news stories is like "shut the fuck up, that shit can't be true."
Immune to frog boiling.
i asked chat gpt to fact check an article for me
December 10, 2025 at 1:34 PM
So you’re telling me it’s hard to know which is worse, a fiction created by greedy billionaires or a reality created by greedy billionaires
Watching my pseudointellectual friends get cucked by chatGPT when doing banal work things like “it’s a tool!”
You’re a tool.
You’re a tool.
December 4, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Watching my pseudointellectual friends get cucked by chatGPT when doing banal work things like “it’s a tool!”
You’re a tool.
You’re a tool.
In music news: sexually charged new single “lick my butthole until you go deaf” by Sabrina Carpenter gets negative reception from deaf community, mainly because they cannot hear it
November 28, 2025 at 5:17 PM
In music news: sexually charged new single “lick my butthole until you go deaf” by Sabrina Carpenter gets negative reception from deaf community, mainly because they cannot hear it
Full Metal Alchemist style arm tattoos but one side is the Student’s T-test and the other is Bayes’ Theorem
November 26, 2025 at 3:06 AM
Full Metal Alchemist style arm tattoos but one side is the Student’s T-test and the other is Bayes’ Theorem
Free napkin with purchase
November 20, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Free napkin with purchase
An advent calendar but it kills you at the end
November 13, 2025 at 3:52 PM
An advent calendar but it kills you at the end
Mourners flee in terror as vice president Cheney’s 21 gun salute fired into faces of attendees.
November 6, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Mourners flee in terror as vice president Cheney’s 21 gun salute fired into faces of attendees.
“They told me there’d be people like you on the outside.”
“Army?”
“No. Build-a-bear”
“Army?”
“No. Build-a-bear”
October 29, 2025 at 7:40 PM
“They told me there’d be people like you on the outside.”
“Army?”
“No. Build-a-bear”
“Army?”
“No. Build-a-bear”
4 pitfalls to avoid when shopping for a new suit:
1) don’t mistake the dressing room for a bathroom.
2) don’t accidentally poop in the suit while trying it on
1) don’t mistake the dressing room for a bathroom.
2) don’t accidentally poop in the suit while trying it on
October 23, 2025 at 5:28 PM
4 pitfalls to avoid when shopping for a new suit:
1) don’t mistake the dressing room for a bathroom.
2) don’t accidentally poop in the suit while trying it on
1) don’t mistake the dressing room for a bathroom.
2) don’t accidentally poop in the suit while trying it on
I predict an 18% unemployment rate by 2030.
October 21, 2025 at 12:38 PM
I predict an 18% unemployment rate by 2030.
Where the fuck is the bar in this hospital?
September 22, 2025 at 11:22 PM
Where the fuck is the bar in this hospital?
Fun fact the suicide rate in Las Vegas, Nevada is 100%
September 21, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Fun fact the suicide rate in Las Vegas, Nevada is 100%
Petition to start calling the middle of the night “dark noon”
September 18, 2025 at 1:18 PM
Petition to start calling the middle of the night “dark noon”
Mad Libs but the prompt is just the single correct answer
September 18, 2025 at 2:50 AM
Mad Libs but the prompt is just the single correct answer
Why does the doctor in the “five little monkeys” song have a fake Asian accent?
September 13, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Why does the doctor in the “five little monkeys” song have a fake Asian accent?
Somebody’s really gotta do something about this whole Israel/Palestine deal
September 7, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Somebody’s really gotta do something about this whole Israel/Palestine deal
Sure as hell don’t care about “yOuR fAiTh” and it’s impact on your stand up comedy
September 4, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Sure as hell don’t care about “yOuR fAiTh” and it’s impact on your stand up comedy