@djaliplume.bsky.social
Hi I'm a Danish. I'm a blind. I'm a scruffy looking goat herder. I'm a diabeetle. I come in peace, when I remember to close the door.
// dumb shit, inane jokes, nsfw tomfoolery, whatever.
// dumb shit, inane jokes, nsfw tomfoolery, whatever.
A picture of me hitting a bike with a sledgehammer
December 10, 2025 at 8:23 PM
A picture of me hitting a bike with a sledgehammer
When night falls and the darkness calls and you're howling at the doom
December 10, 2025 at 7:54 PM
When night falls and the darkness calls and you're howling at the doom
I'm not a doll, I'm an action figure, damnit.
December 10, 2025 at 7:52 PM
I'm not a doll, I'm an action figure, damnit.
I dreamt that I opened my dead eye
December 9, 2025 at 4:13 PM
I dreamt that I opened my dead eye
Infinitely, Sadly, Feebly.
December 8, 2025 at 8:09 PM
Infinitely, Sadly, Feebly.
San
Santa's list better be GDPR compliant, I am not consenting to him gathering or storing any sensitive information about how I may or may not be naughty, allegedly. If I end up on the naughty list I'm suing his fat ass.
Santa's list better be GDPR compliant, I am not consenting to him gathering or storing any sensitive information about how I may or may not be naughty, allegedly. If I end up on the naughty list I'm suing his fat ass.
December 8, 2025 at 2:05 PM
San
Santa's list better be GDPR compliant, I am not consenting to him gathering or storing any sensitive information about how I may or may not be naughty, allegedly. If I end up on the naughty list I'm suing his fat ass.
Santa's list better be GDPR compliant, I am not consenting to him gathering or storing any sensitive information about how I may or may not be naughty, allegedly. If I end up on the naughty list I'm suing his fat ass.
I don't know what would threaten me more, a musician named D'Shawn or a musician called Dijon. None of them sound white, Ima need my Bud Lights stat.
December 7, 2025 at 5:22 PM
I don't know what would threaten me more, a musician named D'Shawn or a musician called Dijon. None of them sound white, Ima need my Bud Lights stat.
I am on a 1000mbps internet connection now. And I can talk on the phone while being online. 90s me would be amazed, and 90s my mother less angry at me for blocking the phone.
I bet nspaa still runs at 23kbps speed tho
I bet nspaa still runs at 23kbps speed tho
December 5, 2025 at 6:12 PM
I am on a 1000mbps internet connection now. And I can talk on the phone while being online. 90s me would be amazed, and 90s my mother less angry at me for blocking the phone.
I bet nspaa still runs at 23kbps speed tho
I bet nspaa still runs at 23kbps speed tho
Handed over the keys to my old apartment today. So I'm down to one apartment. Oh and the beach hose in Hawaii and the ski lodge in the Alps. And the sex dungeon in the White House, wait what's that red dot on my forehead?!
December 4, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Handed over the keys to my old apartment today. So I'm down to one apartment. Oh and the beach hose in Hawaii and the ski lodge in the Alps. And the sex dungeon in the White House, wait what's that red dot on my forehead?!
If you can't say something ncie about someone, just punch them.
December 2, 2025 at 8:31 PM
If you can't say something ncie about someone, just punch them.
This year, all I'm wishing for christmas is world peace. In the form of an extinction level event.
December 1, 2025 at 8:32 AM
This year, all I'm wishing for christmas is world peace. In the form of an extinction level event.
I got 99 problems, and they're all myself.
November 29, 2025 at 9:01 PM
I got 99 problems, and they're all myself.
Can't believe snl rejected my Harlem Hogwarts skit.
November 29, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Can't believe snl rejected my Harlem Hogwarts skit.
Well at least I haven't gained a sense of humour.
November 28, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Well at least I haven't gained a sense of humour.
I know AI is the devil, but chatting to AI Andy Kaufman made me laugh. I wonder what he would think about the world today. The real one I mean, not the AI one.
November 26, 2025 at 1:56 PM
I know AI is the devil, but chatting to AI Andy Kaufman made me laugh. I wonder what he would think about the world today. The real one I mean, not the AI one.
If kids today want to play games on their phones they hould be required to type them in beforehand.
You haven't earned your dues if you haven't done a type-in game and then had to read through 500 lines of code to find the typo you made that caused the game to crash when you launched it.
You haven't earned your dues if you haven't done a type-in game and then had to read through 500 lines of code to find the typo you made that caused the game to crash when you launched it.
November 25, 2025 at 7:38 PM
If kids today want to play games on their phones they hould be required to type them in beforehand.
You haven't earned your dues if you haven't done a type-in game and then had to read through 500 lines of code to find the typo you made that caused the game to crash when you launched it.
You haven't earned your dues if you haven't done a type-in game and then had to read through 500 lines of code to find the typo you made that caused the game to crash when you launched it.
I'm a lot like Kanye in bed. Ima let you finish, Ima let you finish.
November 25, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I'm a lot like Kanye in bed. Ima let you finish, Ima let you finish.
I have strong Danny DeVito energy, just without the charm and joy.
November 23, 2025 at 6:40 PM
I have strong Danny DeVito energy, just without the charm and joy.
It sure is getting dark earlier and earlier now.
Oh wait, my eyes are closed.
It sure is getting harder to keep my eyes open earlier and earlier now.
Oh wait, my eyes are closed.
It sure is getting harder to keep my eyes open earlier and earlier now.
November 23, 2025 at 2:48 PM
It sure is getting dark earlier and earlier now.
Oh wait, my eyes are closed.
It sure is getting harder to keep my eyes open earlier and earlier now.
Oh wait, my eyes are closed.
It sure is getting harder to keep my eyes open earlier and earlier now.
A titmouse isn't a mouse? wtf. Does it even have tits? This is the most shocked since I went to Spain and realised cockerspaniels aren't what I thought they were.
November 21, 2025 at 9:29 AM
A titmouse isn't a mouse? wtf. Does it even have tits? This is the most shocked since I went to Spain and realised cockerspaniels aren't what I thought they were.
I would never believe that Trump sucked off a horse, he would never fucking do anything nice for an animal.
Sorry.
Sorry.
November 19, 2025 at 1:40 PM
I would never believe that Trump sucked off a horse, he would never fucking do anything nice for an animal.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I'm a lot like an ai picture. With a passing glance I may look somewhat normal, but if you take a closer look you'll soon realise "hey that shit ain't right".
November 19, 2025 at 12:12 PM
I'm a lot like an ai picture. With a passing glance I may look somewhat normal, but if you take a closer look you'll soon realise "hey that shit ain't right".
Every time I look at Josh Holloway an angel gets his twinks.
November 15, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Every time I look at Josh Holloway an angel gets his twinks.
The sink in my new place is too famn small. I want a sink that's big enough to use as a bathtub. IS THAT TOO Much TO AXE
November 15, 2025 at 2:38 PM
The sink in my new place is too famn small. I want a sink that's big enough to use as a bathtub. IS THAT TOO Much TO AXE
Oh hello. I am moved. Had my first night in the new place. Things are going.. pretty well. it's been hard. Especially mentally. But I'm coping and haven't jumped off the balcony of my new 6th floor apartment. Lots of work to do to get everythinh done, but i exist.
November 11, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Oh hello. I am moved. Had my first night in the new place. Things are going.. pretty well. it's been hard. Especially mentally. But I'm coping and haven't jumped off the balcony of my new 6th floor apartment. Lots of work to do to get everythinh done, but i exist.