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dhampirse.bsky.social
DhampirsDrinkEspresso
@dhampirse.bsky.social
600 followers 530 following 3.2K posts
FANDOM ACCOUNT. Rayne, Reylo, ClydePhee, AltFran, FlippinHel, & more... Way over 18. MultiShipper. PolyShipper. Crossover lover. If it’s ridiculous that’s a bonus. Bazine Netal did nothing wrong. Minors DNI. Possibly NSFW. Don’t make me tap the sign.
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dhampirse.bsky.social
#AltFran fic update!
See a Professional
Chapter 3/?
Rated E
6988 Words

archiveofourown.org/works/646869...
Cover image of a mussed bed with a Purple overlay/filter and the title See a Professional in sea green script.
December 1, 2025 at 7:52 AM
dhampirse.bsky.social
100
#AltFran
Fics

Y’ALL 😭 🥹
Screenshot of the AltFran ship tag on AO3, reading: 1-20 of 100 Works in Phillip Altman/Fran Larsen (Sometimes I Think About Dying)
November 29, 2025 at 10:35 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
After a very long travel day and a not fun time allergy wise, I am very stiff/sore today but I got to have coffee with a gecko so, you know, I think that evens out!

Gecko climbed the sugar bowl and tried to crawl into the pitcher. I had to pay a milk tax. 🙂‍↕️
Picture from above of a breakfast tray on a glass patio table. On the tray are a cloth napkin, sugar bowl with spoon, cream pitcher, and mug of coffee. Also on the tray, a gecko is looking up at the sugar bowl as if considering climbing it.
November 23, 2025 at 8:43 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
This is a small, silly thing, but it makes me happy. The green pen is identical to the first fountain pen I ever got. Someone stole it specifically because it was my favorite, and I have been looking for another since about 1996. I finally got one.
Two fountain pens still in the packaging. There is a butterfly on the packaging and the words Classic Impressions in a cursive font. Both pens have a gold toned clip and nib as well as trip on the cap. One is blue and black in a marbled pattern and the barrel and cap of the other are slightly sheening aqua green.
November 20, 2025 at 8:58 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
these lyrics…

(Also, you’d think I’d be used to this by now. It’s happened a lot, and yet I’m always surprised when what I think is the theme song of a story is suddenly replaced before I even realize it).
Maybe I'm losin' my mind, but I know what I saw I swear, this house is haunted 'cause no matter where I go I run into her silhouette even when I'm alone In every room, on every wall I turn around, but then, she's gone I feel her right behind me, but I know That I'm just seeing shadows (ooh) 3 a.m., waking up again, shivering in a cold sweat And I tried to make it through the night But I ain't gotten rid of her yet (ain't gotten rid of her yet) Shouldn't be this hard to make it through the dark
November 19, 2025 at 10:02 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
#ClydePhee update

Champagne and Water
Chapter 3/4 (SHHHH, nothing to see, totally didn't change 🫣)
Rated M
6335 total words

Uncle Joe gets his turn to talk. (Uncle Joe really likes to talk).

archiveofourown.org/works/714540...
Moodboard/Titlecard for #ClydePhee fanfic "Champagne and Water" On the left a tilted champagne glass, on the right a darkhaired man leans and looks off to the side. In a light lavenfer background, there's a faint image of a couple's legs tangled in the sheets, and the lyrics to the song "Water at a Wedding" by Greylan James.
November 10, 2025 at 1:21 AM
dhampirse.bsky.social
#AltFran update!

See a Professional
Rated E(ventually)
Chapter 2/?
4674 total words

archiveofourown.org/works/646869...
Cover image of a mussed bed with a Purple overlay/filter and the title See a Professional in sea green script.
November 8, 2025 at 5:19 AM
dhampirse.bsky.social
I'm up for sharing secrets, updates, and maybe possibly even something new (the tropy tier/section titles are just meant to be cutesy, you aren't restricted to those).

DM here or on Discord.

If I've written it before, I will probably be open to writing it again.
Spoil me? $5.00 or more: Pick one of my unfinished WIPs that hasn’t been updated in 6+ months, and I will spoil an unwritten pivotal scene and/or the ending. (And then we will both hope it inspires me to work on that again). They were Roommates! $10.00 or more: a single scene, mini-fic, or epilogue under 1000 words, new or existing The Best Friend’s Brother/Brother’s Best Friend $20.00 or more: one chapter update on a non-abandoned WIP, or a future or outtake one-shot of an existing completed fic of your choice. The Soulmate Bond $40.00 or more A new one-shot/short fic, your prompt or mine. (open to Reylo or adjacent ships, restrictions may apply, some things I just can’t or won’t write; DM to discuss)
October 24, 2025 at 11:48 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
y'all it's been less than an hour...more like 40 minutes...since i last opened this tab and cleared my notifications. pretty sure this is the most i've ever had at once (yes I have post notifications on for a lot of you & add more weekly)

so. many. feelings. that. i. refuse. to. feel. right. now.
close up screenshot of the browser version of blue sky showing 30+ notifications.
October 20, 2025 at 11:38 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
Oh my, where to start after work, though? (This is why I rarely manage to read physical books anymore 😆)
Screenshot of the “unread” messages in an email inbox, all AO3 new story or chapter notifications.
October 20, 2025 at 7:44 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
Please
KPDH
Celine/Baby Saja
2/2
“Bit of an upgrade from Sunlight Sisters housing, he mused as the lights slowly rose, shadows retreating to the corners—writhing, roiling, hungry. He flopped onto the couch and leaned back with a sigh. “Security leaves something to be desired, though.” She could see the pleased little smirk before he even rolled his head to the side, looking her way. “It’s exhausting, this precious world of yours.” “I’m sure I could send you on your way.” He grinned, flashing teeth that remained too sharp even as he settled into the false human appearance. “Could you, Celine? We both know you never managed it before.” A blink, a flash and he was there, so close their clothing brushed as she inhaled, demon mien in place once more. A frisson of fear crawled down her spine. She swallowed, hated that he could see it in her eyes. The fear. The rest. One clawed hand moved slowly up to rest gently under her chin. “Once more, for old times?” Burning bile rose in her throat, hatred for herself more than for him. Rumi’s mother wasn’t the only Sunlight Sister who had fallen in love with a demon. She was just the only one who knew it at the time. Her eyes burned, twin aches of longing and shame. One more failure atop the rest. “Please.”
October 19, 2025 at 6:47 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
Please
KPDH
Celine/Baby Saja
1/2
(don't look at me like that)
The penthouse was dark, too quiet. Waiting. Celine paused, hesitant, as the darkness pressed in, a moving, breathing thing. She couldn’t move. A low, pleased chuckle echoed from near the window, a shadow separating from the rest as a light flared on. He laughed again as she crouched slightly, assuming a defensive stance, and dragged one razor talon along the edge of a table, the screech impossibly loud. She flinched despite her best effort to hold back any reaction. “Oh, Sunshine, one might think you haven’t missed me.” He moved closer, languid, lazy. Toying with her, then. She relaxed slightly, still on guard but pulled herself to her full height and attempted to turn on more lights. The darkness remained. “Shouldn’t you be on the other side of the Honmoon?” “Oh, my gullible Huntress!” He was nearly close enough for touch. He pouted, every bit the Baby of his (current) human form alias. “Sadly, it doesn’t work that way. Those unlucky few who were still in this world are trapped here, now. Your precious Honmoon sealed tight. Celine frowned. “How many?” He shrugged, careless, and leaned casually, propped on shadows and darkness. “How should I know?” “You always did know more than you claimed.” “Ah, ah, Darling, I never kept secrets from you, not if you asked.” The truth of it stung, bored and burrowed deep into the core of her own, secret shame. He smirked and turned away, giving her his back, fully aware she was no threat to him.
October 19, 2025 at 6:47 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
#ClydePhee fic update!

Champagne and Water
Chapter 2/3 🫣😅
Rated M
4910 total words

Phee's wedding passes mostly in a blur. The exceptions: Clyde Logan's presence, and her Uncle Joe's speech.

archiveofourown.org/works/714540...
Moodboard/Titlecard for #ClydePhee fanficc "Champagne and Water" On the left a tilted champagne glass, on the right a darkhaired man leans and looks off to the side. In a light lavenfer background, there's a faint image of a couple's legs tangled in the sheets, and the lyrics to the song "Water at a Wedding" by Greylan James.
October 12, 2025 at 6:02 AM
dhampirse.bsky.social
#ClydePhee omegaverse fic update!

Desperate Times for a Desperate Omega
Chapter 2/? (was 3...now 4-ish?)
3392 total words
archiveofourown.org/works/578988...

(from the beginning archiveofourown.org/works/578988...)
Moodboard/title card for fanfic Desperate TImes for a Desperate Omega. On a peach gradient background a collage of 8 cropped photos. A close up of a woman wiping her mouth, what appears to be a leg with droplets of liquid, a woman in with her hand on her hip and a hot pink mesh top (she is DONE with whoever she's looking at), a close up of fingers shiny with something wet and sticky (it's HONEY, I promise, but um...), a man with dark hair, another close up of a woman's mouth with something dripping down her chin (again honey or fruit juce), a woman who's chin is being tilted back by a man out of frame except for his fingertops and some dark hair, and a woman lying on her (male) partner, both of them facedown on a bed, and her arm is laced under his so they can hold hands by his head. The suggestive close ups are screenshots from the music video for Bitter (Fletcher). Just saying.
October 11, 2025 at 6:06 AM
dhampirse.bsky.social
Torn between “my gosh I hope that’s thicker than it looks” and absolutely howling at the source.
A close up of the bean-filled plug OP shared/quoted, with BigFootAteMyAss.Com along the curve of the glass.
October 9, 2025 at 4:11 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
🤣
THE SECRET SECOND KILLER
October 8, 2025 at 7:42 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
cheater/cheaters
a reylo one shot (no hea)
1265 words

wasn't going to promo this one but it's gotten more engagement than anything else recent

Rey and Ben are in relationships with other people but having sex with each other.

(summary & warning all in one 🙃)

archiveofourown.org/works/71822721
title art for fanfic "cheater/cheaters" background of a topless couple (M/F) and he's holding he ragainst a bric or cinderblock wall. you can only see from hips to shoulders. both wearing jeans, hers are ripped at the knees. his sag enough to see underwear. it's clear they're at least making out. over top three slightly transparent pictures: a woman looking in the distance, not happy, a couple with woman standing and man kneeling with his head on her hip, and the same man seated, looking up mournfully (maybe also guiltily)
October 5, 2025 at 6:50 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
I’ve probably watched that movie more than his others, including LL, 65, and TLJ.
Highlighted text from the article linked above. This section describes Phillip Altman (played by Adam Driver) in the film This is Where I Leave You: His character's resistance to growing up in a "mature" environment, like Shiva, is both painfully awkward and deeply relatable. With this performance, he paints a portrait. A portrait of a character with crippling insecurity and a need for attention, but also one that refuses to show it or put it into words.
September 28, 2025 at 6:25 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
Champagne and Water
a new #Clydephee fic
Chapter 1/2
2519 Words
Rated M (?) - rating may change
Clyde pushed her away, and now Phee's marrying somone else, but she doesn't seem too happy about it.

archiveofourown.org/works/71454086
Moodboard/Titlecard for #ClydePhee fanficc "Champagne and Water" On the left a tilted champagne glass, on the right a darkhaired man leans and looks off to the side. In a light lavenfer background, there's a faint image of a couple's legs tangled in the sheets, and the lyrics to the song "Water at a Wedding" by Greylan James.
September 27, 2025 at 11:15 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki_t...
It was a lonely night in August She was sittin' at the end of the bar when I saw her With the little wine and a little time, she'd be a prize to win I'll never forget, I remember it yet The taste of that clear pure water But that preacher's words could not be heard When she whispered, "Come on in" She said, "Do you wanna go to Heaven?" I said, "Yeah, just lead me on" Take my hand, can you feel that feelin'? I said, "Yeah (I said, yeah), just lead me on"
September 24, 2025 at 2:04 AM
dhampirse.bsky.social
true
but also: alt text 🤭
Text box labeled Alt Text a man in a suit is standing on the edge of a building with megalopolis written on the top he's on the EDGE of the building the EDGE :/
September 23, 2025 at 1:38 AM
dhampirse.bsky.social
I am being ATTACKED

(apparently three years ago today is when my back up synced the image files that inspired Breaches in Propriety, my 'sexy footwashing' fic that just turned three last week...dang...three years? I need to revisit them, or maybe a whole new flavor of Pastor Ben).
A white box with the words "Look back at your memories from this day." at the top, and 5 cropped images of Adam Driver looking hot in a black polo shirt and sunglasses, looking kind of like the hot youth pastor you aren't supposed to have a crush on.
September 17, 2025 at 10:31 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
I just think Grant/Donna > Grant/JL 🤷‍♀️

(Why am I like this? Please stop me).
Grainy still from 80s show Danger Bay of a woman and a man in white lab coats holding a crab. Promo black and white image of a smiling man and a woman hugging him from behing and smiling over his shoulder.
September 13, 2025 at 9:16 PM
dhampirse.bsky.social
oh no
Gru's Plan Meme format Panel one: Watching a show you loved as a kid Panel two: Realizing MC has more chemistry with "coworker" than Love Interest Panel three: There's NOTHING on AO3 Panel four: There's NOTHING on AO3
September 13, 2025 at 6:40 AM
dhampirse.bsky.social
Slightly refreshed pinned post 🤠

If you're a new follower (especially if you found me through a starter pack) please take a look at my "house rules"

There will be no surprised Pikachu reactions accepted if I post something you don't like. Mute & Block are our friends.
Things to keep in mind: There will be adjacent ships and crossovers. Frequently. Maybe other fandoms, too. Yes I ship Reylo. No it’s not always exclusive/devoted/only and I won’t use that fic tag even if it is. I try to tag all romantic or sexual relationships including past and supporting side ships in my fics. Sometimes I spite-write. Especially when there’s tag discourse. I love Bazine Netal. Love her. Write her in as more than a villain or crazy ex A LOT. I have THOUGHTS on the at times overwhelming fandom dislike for her. Non-Reylo babies are just as deserving of love as Reylo babies. They’re BABIES. As with my love for Bazine, this space is KOR Friendly. Also monsters. Love the monsters. Urban Fantasy is my happy place. There may sometimes be dark themes or tropes, there will be fluff, there WILL be WIPs. Just...so many WIPs. They probably all have a playlist, but none of them have a schedule. Whether or not it is stated/plot relevant, someone in my fics is always LGBTQ+. Because people exist. That’s not a debate. It’s a fact. Canon KyloBen is the least dominant man in the galaxy. Fanon...that is up for discussion. I love both. It is not the responsibility of fanfic authors or fan artists to curate your online fandom experience. Please use the tools at your disposal. #1 Rule: Don’t be a dick.
September 7, 2025 at 6:38 PM