okay that was two sentences, but in my defense: fuck you

Dragon Quest XI:
“You sharted during your piano recital, but the movement isn’t gonna finish itself.”

(Technically this isn’t the final-final, but they reused the theme from III for that.)
m.youtube.com/watch?v=qqYO...

Dragon Quest X:

…I do not care for MMOs.

Dragon Quest IX/Corvus:

”You just realized that the guy complaining to your manager at Wendy’s about you screwing up his order fits the definition of a Byronic Hero. You’re not sure how to feel about this.”

m.youtube.com/watch?v=iY0G...

Dragon Quest VIII/Rhapthorne:
”You’re clearly the only one having fun in this knife fight in Six Flags.”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=kha2...

Dragon Quest VII/Orgodemir:
“You can explain why all your little brother’s hot wheels cars are covered in blood later, but right now, you need stitches.”

Dragon Quest VI/Mortamor:
“Your ex was just awarded custody of the dog, the PS5, and all your childhood stuffed animals.”

m.youtube.com/watch?v=2vBY...

Dragon Quest V/Nimzo:
“You should have probably called a doctor after the second straight hour of trying to pass it, but at this point, that would just mean the kidney stone WINS, right?”

m.youtube.com/watch?v=oEzl...

Dragon Quest IV/Psaro:
“You have no idea how that badger got in your fridge at 4 AM, but it’s not leaving.”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=QFk-...

Dragon Quest III/Zoma:
“The third-grade math teacher who called you ‘an argument for eugenics‘ before you knew what that meant has run into you in adulthood at the exact same moment you just happen to be carrying a gigantic pickaxe and there are no security cameras.”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=z7Ox...

Dragon Quest II/Malroth:
”You just told someone on the internet that you kind of enjoyed some parts of Borderlands 3.”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Nq_3...

Dragon Quest I/Dragonlord: “Great, the Kami’s pissed, now you need to toss shrine maidens in the earthenware furnace until the fox mask on the wall stops bleeding.”

m.youtube.com/watch?v=IYfZ...

On an unrelated note, Aurelia has temporarily taken the nickname “Unknown.”

It’s a book without pictures ya dingus, I welcome any interpretations <3 (and now I’m curious to see your version)