Also let's not pretend that the other Star Wars films, even the good ones, aren't messy kludge-jobs in their own ways.

Hey now, I didn't learn about the Elohist and Yahwist narrators until college.

But then, I wasn't raised Christian.

I enjoyed that movie a lot but it's extremely frustrating seeing the edges of the better* movie they left on the cutting room floor.

* defined as "having more Ben and Natasha Lyonne in it."

To all my friends who ARE at PAX: I miss you!

Assigning my scientists to research this next.

The card gamer is a Timmy who thinks he's a Spike. The board gamer is a Spike who thinks he's a Johnny. The minis gamer is a Vorthos who thinks she's a Timmy. And the roleplayer is a Johnny who thinks she's a Vorthos.

Look if we're going to get all historical and accurate about things basically everyone should always fight with a voulge.

Actually I've had time to think about it and I think what I actually want is the Muppets to come back and for the guest stars to appear IN CHARACTER. The Muppets, guest starring Benoit Blank. The Muppets, guest starring the Addams Family. The Muppets, musical guest, Huntr/x.

It's a murder on the set of the Muppets variety show, and Benoit Blanc spends most of the movie confused about whether or not the Muppets are real people. He seems more interested in solving THAT mystery than the murder.

Remember: they spit acid and eat brains. That's how you can tell they're the good guys.

Man speaking of Fifth Element...

It's one of my favorite movies. But Zorg isn't a "charismatic" villain, he's a punchable face with a few good lines and a great performance because Oldman is just that good.

Ruby Rhod had style. The Diva had style. Korben Dallas had a little orange tank top.

I think what Fifth Element had was a DISTINCTIVE look that wasn't like anything else on screen at the time. Or rather, a bunch of different distinctive looks, that didn't really gel.

You married her on purpose.

Don't you mean the Bell Brothers? Imagine, a woman, writing a novel!