Chloe Thonus
@cybersecchloe.bsky.social
Strange person. Cybersecurity podcaster. Lesbian. Owner of a cat. She/her
https://linktr.ee/bitesizedcybercrime
https://linktr.ee/bitesizedcybercrime
Fitbit: Wow look at you exercise
Me: *Sitting still at the doctor's office very very anxious*
Me: *Sitting still at the doctor's office very very anxious*
April 11, 2025 at 1:22 AM
Fitbit: Wow look at you exercise
Me: *Sitting still at the doctor's office very very anxious*
Me: *Sitting still at the doctor's office very very anxious*
Joggers just be jogging anywhere huh. I can be having a mental breakdown in an empty alleyway in the rain and some jogger just jogs on by all jauntily. I've seen joggers effortless jog on by while I trudge to work through a blizzard fighting for my life. They can't be stopped.
March 20, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Joggers just be jogging anywhere huh. I can be having a mental breakdown in an empty alleyway in the rain and some jogger just jogs on by all jauntily. I've seen joggers effortless jog on by while I trudge to work through a blizzard fighting for my life. They can't be stopped.
Every time I see a comment on reddit about how tattoos are ugly or especially about how women with tattoos are ugly I go schedule a new tattoo appointment.
I'm getting a chameleon once my bonus hits
I'm getting a chameleon once my bonus hits
March 7, 2025 at 8:50 PM
Every time I see a comment on reddit about how tattoos are ugly or especially about how women with tattoos are ugly I go schedule a new tattoo appointment.
I'm getting a chameleon once my bonus hits
I'm getting a chameleon once my bonus hits
Explained how I solved the LinkedIn game Tango to one of my friends and she endorsed my communication skills.
March 7, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Explained how I solved the LinkedIn game Tango to one of my friends and she endorsed my communication skills.
Sometimes during my podcast research I discovered a poorly maintained Wikipedia page and decide I need to go fix it.
March 7, 2025 at 2:03 PM
Sometimes during my podcast research I discovered a poorly maintained Wikipedia page and decide I need to go fix it.
Screw talents, anyone got an anti-talent? I am incapable of making a good smoothie. It's always bad no matter what I put it in
February 12, 2025 at 4:14 AM
Screw talents, anyone got an anti-talent? I am incapable of making a good smoothie. It's always bad no matter what I put it in
We ended up hiring this guy. He did not comment on the pirate costume. I spoke normally and took it seriously I was just dressed like a pirate.
There is nothing I love more than putting myself in incredibly silly scenarios
There is nothing I love more than putting myself in incredibly silly scenarios
I have to interview someone on Halloween when I will be dressed like a pirate with CDs glued to my coat
February 10, 2025 at 4:32 PM
We ended up hiring this guy. He did not comment on the pirate costume. I spoke normally and took it seriously I was just dressed like a pirate.
There is nothing I love more than putting myself in incredibly silly scenarios
There is nothing I love more than putting myself in incredibly silly scenarios
I think my pettiest red flag is people who say they don't like vegetarian food. That's not a cuisine it's things that are not meat like do you dislike every fruit and vegetable and grain???
February 10, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I think my pettiest red flag is people who say they don't like vegetarian food. That's not a cuisine it's things that are not meat like do you dislike every fruit and vegetable and grain???
So I impulsively ordered madeleine pans online so now I'm making madeleines at 11 AM for no reason I guess
February 9, 2025 at 5:15 PM
So I impulsively ordered madeleine pans online so now I'm making madeleines at 11 AM for no reason I guess
Me: Don't buy used technology! It's risky and can come with malware, hardware faults, may be stolen, no warranty, and has a very high risk of being falsely advertised and getting you scammed
Also me: Fuck yeah 40 dollar eBay iPad
Also me: Fuck yeah 40 dollar eBay iPad
February 7, 2025 at 11:45 PM
Me: Don't buy used technology! It's risky and can come with malware, hardware faults, may be stolen, no warranty, and has a very high risk of being falsely advertised and getting you scammed
Also me: Fuck yeah 40 dollar eBay iPad
Also me: Fuck yeah 40 dollar eBay iPad
Every time I'm actually working my manager doesn't go near me. It's the one minute a day I am trying to see if I can order Fritos online that he manifests behind me.
February 6, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Every time I'm actually working my manager doesn't go near me. It's the one minute a day I am trying to see if I can order Fritos online that he manifests behind me.
Short people do y'all ever get smacked in the face by a grocery store item you're trying to reach for but just end up knocking over. A bag of vegan marshmallows landed directly on my face recently.
February 5, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Short people do y'all ever get smacked in the face by a grocery store item you're trying to reach for but just end up knocking over. A bag of vegan marshmallows landed directly on my face recently.
Nextdoor generally sucks but this is probably the funniest notification I've ever received
January 30, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Nextdoor generally sucks but this is probably the funniest notification I've ever received
I don't care what pbrun stands for. It's peanut butter run.
January 29, 2025 at 3:19 PM
I don't care what pbrun stands for. It's peanut butter run.
I am an IT professional. I don't know how to type é on a standard US keyboard so every time I need to I copy and paste it from the Wikipedia article for Beyoncé which I always have open in a tab.
January 29, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I am an IT professional. I don't know how to type é on a standard US keyboard so every time I need to I copy and paste it from the Wikipedia article for Beyoncé which I always have open in a tab.
Googled "does my cat know I love him" and started crying
January 29, 2025 at 2:59 AM
Googled "does my cat know I love him" and started crying
Not sure what I was cooking w this
January 25, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Not sure what I was cooking w this
May or may not be able to release Bite Sized Cyber Crime due to being sick. My voice is rather shot at the moment
January 16, 2025 at 2:52 AM
May or may not be able to release Bite Sized Cyber Crime due to being sick. My voice is rather shot at the moment
Really glad Citizen sends me push notifications for the most important, gritty, serious crimes in the city of Chicago that the liberals don't want you to know about.
January 15, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Really glad Citizen sends me push notifications for the most important, gritty, serious crimes in the city of Chicago that the liberals don't want you to know about.
Being an adult who never grew up eating peanuts but is trying to eat a more plant based diet has me reinventing the PB&J and thinking I am a genius.
(Using almond butter tho I don't like peanuts)
(Using almond butter tho I don't like peanuts)
January 9, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Being an adult who never grew up eating peanuts but is trying to eat a more plant based diet has me reinventing the PB&J and thinking I am a genius.
(Using almond butter tho I don't like peanuts)
(Using almond butter tho I don't like peanuts)
At trivia yesterday the picture round category was financial services company logos.
I work at a financial services company. We did well.
I work at a financial services company. We did well.
January 8, 2025 at 3:16 PM
At trivia yesterday the picture round category was financial services company logos.
I work at a financial services company. We did well.
I work at a financial services company. We did well.
Just learned people from Wisconsin have a derogatory word against people from Illinois FIB (fucking Illinois bastards)
In Illinois we do not have for the Wisconsinites because we do not think about Wisconsin at all.
In Illinois we do not have for the Wisconsinites because we do not think about Wisconsin at all.
January 3, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Just learned people from Wisconsin have a derogatory word against people from Illinois FIB (fucking Illinois bastards)
In Illinois we do not have for the Wisconsinites because we do not think about Wisconsin at all.
In Illinois we do not have for the Wisconsinites because we do not think about Wisconsin at all.
Watched through season 3 of BoJack Horseman and man. It is really good but also really depressing.
January 2, 2025 at 11:52 PM
Watched through season 3 of BoJack Horseman and man. It is really good but also really depressing.
How it started vs how it's going
January 2, 2025 at 3:44 AM
How it started vs how it's going
Very scummy that the honey browser extension basically hijacked people's cookies to replace affiliate links, even when no deals were found.
December 29, 2024 at 6:54 PM
Very scummy that the honey browser extension basically hijacked people's cookies to replace affiliate links, even when no deals were found.