Reading this, damn I miss diner coffee 😭

I’m curious, do you want to expand on that?

In Germany we have “Kaffeezeit” like Brits have tea time. But we get to eat cake every day with coffee around 15:00. It’s a great excuse for more coffee, later in the day.

Sometimes, I feel absolutely beautiful, like other worldly stunning.

How do I bottle this feeling up?
How do I carry it with me and sip from it when life is trying-
When I’m tired, sad, and worn down.

How do we hold our hearts open from one moment to the next?
How do we hold it open for ourselves?

😻😻😻

Eeeeee thankies!!
I love it when gorgeous women call me beautiful 🥰💕😘

And it’s fucking hard.

It’s hard not to get talked over, ignored, etc and not just shut down like I always did.

And I get so angry with myself for letting it happen.

So I get vigilant and reactive. I snap at her the next time it happens.

Then I have to talk about it with a now triggered momma.

Healing generational trauma is two-fold:

You heal the harm that was done to you by abusive/neglectful caregivers-

AND you learn the skills that they failed to model for you when you were a kid.

And when you finally reach a good place, you can see where you came from and feel good and overwhelmed.

And she’s done some work, but it’s acceptance and being able to talk about her past, not processing and moving past it. It keeps coming out unfiltered and inappropriately.

And my work has been not being the emotional dumping ground/filter of people around me AND learning a filter for what I say.

I’m an adult child of an alcoholic. I’m used to being the emotional co-regulator for her. It’s how I was raised-

She talks about her traumas, her friends’ traumas, etc to me and I had to listen and comfort her.

Also, if my needs/pain were her shortcoming, she would shut down or collapse. I’d lose.