"Texas A&M is in the running for the SEC crown." Fuck you, no they're not.

Toilet wine and eagle tattoos. (Different tone, now.) Toilet wine and eagle tattoos!

Them [foolish, infantilized]: It's a serious political work! Tom Bissell worked on it!

Me [brave, serious]: Then Tom Bissell fell the fuck off.

Pettite but not King Felix is a clear statement of values, among other things.

The last time I watched it a tornado warning went into effect halfway through. So I was sitting on the floor of the hallway with an iPad in my lap, a storm battering the windows, passively thinking about being obliterated by god. Felt about right.

Oh okay now we're against uplifting motherfuckers.

In the blue injury tent because I've got a date after the game and need to jack off beforehand.

I was not aware that Doug Christie could be this sexual.

I know most of this is straight Fox News viewer fantasy, but The Lawyers Are In On It! feels more somehow more damning. Like, yes, the lawyers have a firm and obvious interest in achieving a certain outcome. It is sort of their job to have one. You are a legal professional, no?

If you haven't yet seen Parrott's post-game interview, you're in for a treat. bsky.app/profile/sjbr...